You Capture – You’re Real Life

This was another easy, albeit eclectic week.

Real life?

Wow. What fun this was because? Well, because it’s fun to be me! I’m a blessed, crazy gal with three special fellas in her life. So, without further rambling, may I present to you, my real life…

This happens to be my dining room table.

And it happens to be covered with cars from the movie CARS. Meet Lightning McQueen and his expensive posse.

That little mess up there is equal to about one hundred dollars if you can believe that. Throw in those three Longaberger baskets you can see on my table and well, you’d have a lot more than one hundred dollars.

That, my friends is my real life.

And sometimes we throw caution to the wind and have these home-made goodies for breakfast…

I have two words for you. Scrumpt and Tious. Especially that one there at the bottom.

Okay, so home-made is a stretch unless you consider that I was home when I made them.

At any rate, they were yummy in real life!!!

And for a real look into our real life, take a look at this….

Our calendar stays pretty full! (Oh my sweet mercy, I love that MACRO setting!) The “X”s you see mean McDaddy will be out of town. Blah, blah and more blah!

That’s about as real as it gets around here.

We would rather be posing like this….

Than like this…

I love my real life!!!

There’s lots more real life over at I Should Be Folding Laundry. Head over there and check it out!

Alex Ryan

Dear Alex,

How can it be that you are four years old?

It seems like just yesterday, we were getting your hair cut for the first time.

 

Before you were born, the Doctor said you would be a ten-pound baby.

They were right on the mark.

At ten pounds, five ounces, you were the biggest baby in the nursery. The nurses nick-named you, King. Still, you were my sweet, little, boy! You were a good sleeper, you latched-on immediately and your hair was so thick in the middle, you looked like you had a mohawk.

When we were introduced to you, we knew you were sent to complete our family. I immediately saw some striking similarities between the two of us and although we’ve had our moments, I have a place in my heart reserved just for you!

Over the past year, we have seen so many changes! Your temper tantrums have turned into rational thinking and your stubborn streak has turned into, well, nothing…. [And believe me, I know all about the stubborn streak. We have been friends for many years!]

You are an independent little boy with a strong will and a determined spirit. You and and your sense of adventure scare the soup out of me. Please be careful. You are not Spiderman, Superman or Batman.

You have a double crown, a big foot, blue eyes, an extra tooth, a great laugh, a sweet voice, and a shrill cry. You are a be-speckled little boy who loves poptarts and shoes. We quarrel daily about your shoe selection. You need to understand that when it is 43 degrees outside, you cannot wear crocs. It won’t happen. I understand your shoe dilemma, I really do, but please just work with me here. [We are alike in so many ways!]

You are so good to go along with whatever I am doing. Whether we’re trapsing through Wal-Mart or sitting in the copy room at Flinn, you normally go with the flow. I enjoy hanging out with you, kiddo!

It is my prayer for you that you can always be as happy and full of joy as you are on this day, at your fourth birthday party. I had a great time watching you enjoy your day!  Happy Birthday!

I love you, sweet boy!

Love, Mama

Seeing Red

I suspect Beth had Fall in mind when she gave us the You Capture Challenge this week.

The Color Red.

While I did snap some really cool red pictures, none of them have anything to do with fall.

This was a fun week, though.

1. First, my beloved Saturn Sky. Well, it’s not actually mine, but I do love it. And it is an awesome shade of chili pepper red.

 

2. Daddy’s Heap (ahem, I mean JEEP) that happens to be for sale.

 

3. I tried to get all artsy-fartsy with this one, but sadly, it just looks fartsy-blurry.

 

4. This one is a result of going through my kitchen cabinets at 10:23pm on Wednesday evening before posting You Capture the week the challenge is THE COLOR RED.

 

5. This one is pretty self-explanantory, um, except for the wrinkles….

 

6. I couldn’t dare let this week’s THE COLOR RED challenge pass-me-by without shooting this feller who gets more than his share of attention around these parts.

 

7. My RED fossil wallet.

Head over to I Should Be Folding Laundry for lots more of The Color Red.

Dear Wal-Mart Manager Guy

Dear Wal-Mart Manager Guy:

I am writing this letter as a service to you, and subsequently the patrons of your store there on the Corridor.

I visited your store this morning, and for the first time in forever at least seven years, I was able to enjoy all that the Mart of Walls has to offer in a relaxing atmosphere without the constant disruption of potty breaks, CARS aisle visits, and, answering for the 14th time why we cannot purchase the newest Power Wheels riding toy. In other words, I  looked forward to an hour of bliss reacquainting myself with my home away from home after extensive renovations completed a short time ago.

First, I’d like to start by saying that the renovations at our neighborhood Mart of Walls make me smile. The bright blue signage does wonders for my OCD, and the airy openess of the ‘new set-up’ gives me a fuzzy, warm feeling inside. On top of that, I really appreciate the way all your peeps now wear a navy blue shirt. (I won’t tell Target y’all are copying the whole wear the same colored shirt thing.) Just know that it looks nice having all of your folks in the same color and the shirts make it easier to identify who can help me find things that are no longer where they used to be.

I’m wondering though about the gal at Register #14. You know the one with half of her belly hanging out of her navy blue shirt. Do y’all really permit belly shirts? If you do permit them, then shame on you. It’s not really flattering.

Or even acceptable.

Next, I’m curious why it is that someone on the Wal-Mart design team felt it necessary to design 36 check-out lanes if you are only going to open seven check-out lanes at any one time. I found this to be true more than once and each time your check-out lanes were about nine-crazy-people deep. I would like to propose that your managers have at least half of the check-out lanes open at all times. This single move would make a huge difference in the lives and minds of Wal-Mart patrons everywhere.

Just sayin’

Lastly, can I make one final plea?

My sweet boys have looked at your assortment of CARS vehicles all. summer. long. They are looking for Giovanni. He is a friend of Snot Rod’s and he is not there at your store. There are 732 versions of Lightning McQueen, 4 versions of Mater, Snot Rod, Ramone, Fillmore, Doc Hudson, Sheriff, and Nitroade. Where in the name of pete is Giovanni? The last time we were all together in the CARS aisle, I asked my sweet boys where they saw Giovanni. My oldest son answered quickly, “At the Wal-mart in New Hampshire!”

Nice.

Wal-Mart.

In New Hampshire.

[Note to self: The next time you are in another state and your boys find a rare CARS die-cast car, BUY IT IMMEDIATELY!]

Can you tell me why the Wal-Mart in West Virginia cannot order and carry Giovanni like your counterpart in New Hampshire?

Forget the Rollbacks.

Y’all need to get on a roll and get some new CARS merchandise in your store.

Seriously. I look in that aisle every time I’m in your store and even did so today while my sweet boys were at school. I thought it would be a sweet surprise to find Giovanni.

It would have been more like a miracle.

Can you check into it for me?

I’d appreciate your attention to these matters.

Thank you kindly,

Julie From Inmates

Thursday Thirteen – This Time It’s T’s Turn

I am writing this week’s Thursday Thirteen from my sister-in-law’s house in Candia, New Hampshire.

Me and the boys are enjoying our visit and most of all my boys are pre-occupied with their cousins most of the day which leaves me ample time to blog and snack on bon-bons and Dr. Pepper.

Because of that I have been able to stay two or three days ahead of the bloggy boat which is why I am composing my Thursday Thirteen for this week on Monday. (Except for those last three words!)

If my memory serves me correct, we should be on the Letter T.

1. TALKING – I was wired to be a talker. In elementary school, I pretty much always received an “X” in the “Listens attentively” column. What can I say? Well, apparently a lot. –  Still. love. to. talk.

2. TiVO –  I have always been very fond of the television. The invention of the TiVo has become a necessity in my household, especially since so many of the shows that I love are not fit for viewing by my boys. Some of my favorite shows are The Young And The Restless, American Idol, Dancing With The Stars, Desperate Housewives, Greys Anatomy and The View.

3. TEMPERATURE – I am very particular about the temperature. My ideal temperature would be 85 degrees with zero humidity. Humidity makes me cranky.

4. TIARA – I don’t wear one, but I would should. I would pick one like this one from tutu.com.

5. TONSILS – Had mine removed in the 6th grade. The only part I remember is the enema.

6. TRUCK – McDaddy would like to trade our 4-Runner for a truck. I would pick this one for him. A 2009 Chevy Silverado SS. Not that I know the first thing about trucks, but surely the whole ‘SS’ thing means something cool like Super Special. (It probably means Super Sport now that I think about it.)

 

7. TWINS – I have twin brothers that are four years older than me. My cousin, Sarah gave birth to twin boys in January. Multiples are proof that God has a sense of humor. I lovingly refer to these guys as Scrubby and Stubby.

8. TEXAS – McDaddy and I spent two weeks in Houston, Texas so that he could attend some type of control system guru training. When he goes to training, I scrapbook in the hotel room. While we were in Texas we drove to Galveston for an afternoon. We have been blessed to travel quite a bit on his company’s dime.

9. TARGET – I go there occasionally, but, I prefer the Mart Of Walls any day of the week.

10. TATTLE – Something I deal with on a daily basis with my boys. It is tough deciding what should be tattlable and what shouldn’t be.

11. THE MAN – This one came to be as I was talking to McDaddy on the phone last night. I assume he was referring to himself because in my book, he IS the man. (Hi McDaddy! I miss you!)

12. THANKFUL – So very thankful for all of the blessings in my life. Especially for these two happy, healthy little boogers. (Disneyland – 2008)

 13. TOW MATER – Up until now, Lightning McQueen has gotten all the attention here at Inmates. I thought it was high time I give Mater his five seconds of fame. Our boys have just about every frazzlin’ CARS toy ever made. Except that the big-wigs at Disney are so very clever. They discovered that if they take a black sharpie to Lightning McQueen they can market it and call him Tar McQueen. Or, they can color some green on and call him Cactus McQueen.  Or they can take off two wheels and call it Finish Line McQueen. Disney folks, you should be ashamed of yourself. Instead, you are laughing all the way to the bank. Because my boys? They totally fall for your Lightning McQueen scam. Because of that we have 416 versions of Lightning McQueen wearning various paint jobs and tires. And this guy? All he gets is the shaft.

Mater. Stand up and be noticed.

Now, wasn’t that fun?

A special shout out to McDaddy for helping me come up with my last three “T” words this week. (Even for the one I didn’t use!) 

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Happy To Be At Home hosts a weekly Thursday Thirteen. Head over there and tell them I sent ya!

A Little Crabby Thanks To The Rain

This weeks YOU CAPTURE challenge is Nature.

I thought about so many different things that I could capture.

Stevie and Alex had Lightning McQueen and his posse all lined up in a dirt pile over the weekend pretending it was Willy’s Butte. (That entire sentence will mean nothing to you non-Lightning McQueen fans!) Unfortunately, I was in the midst of planting flowers in my window boxes and didn’t want to get potting soil on my camera lens, so I decided against taking stopping to capture the shot.

Then, the boys found a turtle but we were standing in the middle of the road and I couldn’t leave the boys in the road to hurry in and get the camera from the house.

I mean I guess I could have. But something told me that might not be wise.

So.

This is what I came up with.

This was the scene from our back deck on the ONE and ONLY day it did not rain last week. (AHEM!) I thought the sky was so bright and blue.

It was such a drastic change from the dreary. nasty. cold. wet. rain.

And I decided to throw this one in for fun.

This is a crab that ran across the road on our recent trip to Guantanamo Bayto visit McDaddy. I couldn’t believe how large this sucker was. I tried a crab cake one night at dinner. It was probably this guy’s brother.

I’m about to vomit in my mouth just thinking about it.

Sorry.

Visit I Should Be Folding Laundry for more YOU CAPTURE posts.

Thursday Thirteen – The Letter L

It’s Thursday.

I have 4,728 things to do before I leave on tomorrow. I put a status update on my facebook page asking my friends to help me out with “L” words. I was impressed with some of their suggestions.

Here’s 13 things – from my friend, The Letter L.

1. LATE – Being late is one of my biggest pet peeves. If you are habitually late, you should by all means get started a little earlier. PERIOD.

2. LONDON – The first stop on our European tour. I would love to go back there someday.

3. LIGHTNING MCQUEEN – Oh sweet mercy. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t see this guy in some form. Underwear, sippy cup, shoes, Leapster game, shirts, cars, plates, socks, shampoo, gummies, you name it, Disney has designed a CARS version of it and in all likelihood the CARS version will cost more! I guess I should be counting my blessings that I have little boys who love this cute little car as opposed to those hoochie mama bratz dolls that little girls love.

 

4. LAS VEGAS – It always amazes me that Vegas is hoppin at all hours. There is just as much excitement at noon as there is at midnight. The last time I went to Vegas I stayed at The Tropicana in a murphy bed.

5. LAUNDRY – I don’t so much mind laundry, but I really hate to put it away. If I had these, I would love to do laundry. You know you are getting old when new appliances excite you.

6. LIMOUSINE – I have only ridden in a limousine on one occasion. I was arrested for the March Of Dimes and picked up in a limousine. I was taken to “jail” where I had to stay until I raised $500.00 in bail money.

7. LOTION – Last weekend on my Women of Faith trip, I was introduced to the best lotion ever. Gold Bond Shea Butter lotion. It will make your hands feel like silk. Thanks! Kim.

 

8. LOVE – I miss the love of my life. I am super excited to see him in two days. Here we are in 1997. We were engaged at the time.

9. LAKE POWELL – In 1993, we spent a week on a houseboat on Lake Powell. We did it again in 1995. It is the most relaxing vacation ever. The landscape was beautiful, and peaceful. I would suggest that you only do a Lake Powell Houseboat Vacation with people that you REALLY enjoy being with.

 

10. LUGGAGE – I am currently packing for an exciting trip. My luggage has seen a lot of action. It happens to be red.

11. LONGABERGER – I sell Longaberger and collect Longaberger baskets. I got hooked on Longaberger in 2000 and started selling in 2003. This set makes me happy. Mine sits in my kitchen. The top shelf holds a basket full of mail. The bottom basket is the snack basket.

12. LETTER – Guess it makes sense to include this word. I’m making my way through the alphabet every Thursday.

13. LIZARD – I have not mentioned McDaddy’s location on my blog. I can tell you though that these little scary nasty freakin gross boogers run wild. I AM NOT looking forward to seeing a lizard. The thought of seeing one of these makes me cringe. There is a really good chance that I will not make it back if one of these comes in contact with one of my body parts.

And how about this ugly thing? McDaddy reports they are all over the place too. Be afraid. Be very afraid. I am praying that God will spare me from seeing either of these while I’m there. Otherwise, I may have the big one.

Thanks to my facebook friends for offering up some great “L” words. I was pretty impressed and had to consult google to find out what ligase and lysosomes are.

Try these on for size.

Limburger, ligase, lysosome, Luci Swindoll, lithium (which I might need if I see either of those critters), level, lost, least, longevity, leftovers, letdown, lunch, and laughter.

Laughter. I like that. =)

Thursday Thirteen – The Letter “K”

It’s Thursday.

Time for the letter “K”

Let’s kick this thing off with one of my favorite “K” words.

1. KRIS ALLEN – Kris is my second favorite contestant on American Idol this season. On top of his singing ability, I think he is a cutie. He may replace Michael Phelps as my newest boyfriend (but please don’t tell his wife!)

2. KNEE – One day last year, I was talking with a group of friends about turning thirty. One of them made the mistake of mentioning to me that once you turn thirty you are not nearly as flexible as you are before you turn thirty. I then made the mistake of proving to her that she was wrong. As if I were still a 15-year old majorette, I went down into a full split, much to the surprise of my friends. Two days later, I found myself sitting in Exam Room #4 at my Doctor’s office needing anti-inflammatory medication and a pair of crutches.

3. KITCHEN – I don’t spend nearly enough time in mine as I should, especially since McDaddy is on a 6-month vacation, however, I love my kitchen and I think it is fabulous!

4. KLEENEX – I use lots and lots of tissues. And, I prefer a tissue that will withstand my powerful blow. Not every tissue is made the same. Generic tissues. They BLOW!

5. KEDS – Keds were such an important part of my teenage years. There was nothing better than a brand spankin’ new pair of white Keds. Ah, the memories.

6. KOHL’S – One of my favorite stores. I am in favor of any store that carries diamond earrings, a Leap Frog toy, a greeting card, a set of knives and a fabulous pair of sandals all in the same place.

7. KINDERGARTEN – Stevie loves Kindergarten. His first day was one of the hardest days of motherhood for me. Such a sweet, sweet boy! I get teary eyed just thinking about how quickly he is growing.

8. KETCHUP I love ketchup. I will only eat fries that are dipped in ketchup. I eat ketchup on hamburgers and hot-dogs.

9. KISS – Oh, McDaddy I do miss you so! Nine more days….

10. KENTUCKY – McDaddy and I spent our first year of marital bliss in Flatwoods, Kentucky (Home of Billy Ray Cyrus). We lived in a beautiful, new, townhouse on Hamor Street. Our phone number was 836-8365.

11. KAY – My maiden name. When I got married I took my maiden name as a middle name which may or may not be legal. There is some conflict between the Social Security Office and the Vital Statistics Office as to what my legal name really is.

12. KAMME, KALLI, KIRKLEN – McDaddy’s sister has three children all with “K” names. They are all unique.

13. KIDS – I have two kids that I love dearly! My boys make me smile. (You might notice that Lightning McQueen is clinched tightly in his little hand even amongst the choas.)

How’s that for entertainment?

Happy Thursday Internets. I’m headed to Columbus for the Women of Faith conference this weekend.

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By the way – I’m hosting a give-away this week from DigitalRoom.Com. Go here to sign up for a free 16×20 poster print.

Get Off My Back

If you were Stevie’s Back-pack……

You’d look like this……

 Cars - Backpack - 16 Inch Lightning McQueen Racing Backpack with Lunch Kit

 

 

And…..
 
-You’d hang out on Stevie’s coat rack once you arrived home from school.
 
-You would sit in a cubby in Room 10 at Stevie’s Elementary School during the day.
 
-You’d be aggravated that the lunchbox bangs against you when Stevie walks with you on his back.
 
-You’d have a light jacket in you at all times so that Stevie will be prepared for cool, windy weather.
 
-You would have come home today with a ziplock bag full of items that the kids collected on a nature walk today.
 
-You would have a ring-side seat as kids had to pull tickets because of their bad behavior in Stevie’s class.
 
-You’d carry a nutritious snack to school every.single.day for snack time.
 
-You would have a new library book stuffed inside of you on Mondays.
 
-You would be inspected by me daily.
 
-You would be thrilled when the weekend got here cause you could get some much-needed rest.
 
-You’d have S-T-E-V-I-E-S-L-A-S-T-N-A-M-E written on your strap.

-You would be thankful that you were plucked from the rack at Wal-Mart by a little boy who loves you!

-You would get wiped down every week by the crazy lady that shares a house with you.

-You would chuckle that Stevie puts you on top of his head on rainy days.

-You would carry a pack of gummies everyday in case of a snack emergency.
 
-You would not be happy when you had to carry a 1/2 eaten banana or 1/2 eaten string cheese back home.
 
Aren’t you glad you’re not a backpack?

Party At My Crib

Ultimate Blog Party 2009

Welcome to my humble abode. I’m so glad you are here. If you are one of my eight loyal blog fans, I appreciate you and hope you learn something about me you don’t already know. If you are new here, I sure welcome you to visit any ole’ time. I love company.

For starters, this is my blog. I started blogging in June, 2006 for myself and 200 of my closest friends on mySpace. Back in November, 2008 I decided to take the bloggy plunge and join the blogosphere. That whole Inmates to Playdates thing up there, that’s all true. Before hanging up my handcuffs to be a stay-at-home-mom, I was an inmate counselor at a Regional Jail.

I am 35 and I am married to McDaddy who happens to be the most patient man on the planet. He is a control systems genius engineer and also a member of the WV Air National Guard. He is currently deployed for six months where he is diligently protecting our butts, our freedoms and whatever else needs protecting at his current location. I talk about him often here at Inmates and I so proud to be his wife. I miss him terribly. Oh, and did I mention he is hot!

I have a six year old son named Stevie. He is a cool kid who loves Thomas, Lightning McQueen, Monster Trucks and his beloved DS. He is one of the sweetest kids I’ve ever known and I’m not at all just saying that because he is mine. He is thoughtful, polite and loving. (He’s also very smart but I don’t want to sound like one of those mothers).

I also have a three year old son named Alex. He has two speeds. Asleep. And wide open. It is comical to watch him in action. He loves to run, jump, climb and bulldoze. He also likes Thomas, Lightning McQueen, Monster Trucks and his Leapster. He is sweet, independent and cute as a button.

My boys are the joy of my life and I am thankful for the privilege of being a [stay-at-home] mother. Even though I always thought I would have a daughter, I am thrilled that the boys are the best of friends and wonderful playmates.

As my tagline says, I am a self proclaimed princess who gave up a career in corrections for stay-at-home-mom royalty. I have a truck-load of quirks and I am gifted in the art of conversation. Just ask anybody. I enjoyed my time in jail very much but I enjoy motherhood even more. I have recently began working out and lost 25 pounds in 30 weeks. I love the Saturn Skyand Reality TV. I am also a Longaberger consultant and scrapbooker.

This blog is like a bag of chex mix. Sometimes you get a boring ole raisin and sometimes you get the M&M. Either way, it is my life.

I have talked at length about my funeral, the fun I had while riding in a police car and even pap smears.

Some days I talk about my sweet boys, my hubby or my Jesus.

I do hope you’ll stick around for awhile. Feel free to look around and enjoy my daily dose of crazy. Believe me, there is plenty to go around.

Oh, and at the end of the awesome Ultimate Blog Party sponsored by the gals over at Five Minutes For Mom, I’ll be giving away a Longaberger purse, so be sure and leave a comment on this post.

Thanks for stopping by and do have yourselves a lovely day!

———–

And the winner is……..

 

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

16

Timestamp: 2009-03-29 00:47:14 UTC

 

Congratulations, Beth! I will be contacting you by e-mail!

————

My prize choices would be – #58 – Kitchen Aid Mixer sponsored by Mom’s Who Think, #123 – Kohl’s gift-card sponsored by The Grotto, #118 – Old Navy gift-card sponsored by Manic Mother, #103 – Surprise Box sponsored by Monkey’s Momma, #91 – Target Gift Card sponsored by Mummy Deals, #89 – Gift Card to Home Goods sponsored by HG Openhouse, #19 – Target gift card sponsored by Shoot Me Now.

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