A Guide To Clean Eating – How To Get Started

You’ve probably heard of clean eating, but, if you’re like me, you may be reluctant to begin the process because you have no idea how to go about “cleaning up” your diet. Eating clean is a good way to drop some pounds, while also providing your body with healthy, nutritious options from each of the food groups. Basically, that means eating more foods such as vegetables, fruits and whole grains, plus healthy proteins and fats. It also means cutting back on refined sugars, added sugars, salt and unhealthy fats.

Because eating clean doesn’t require you to count calories or give up whole food groups, it is easy to follow. In a grocery store, you should be doing most of your “clean” shopping around the perimeter. You should shop the aisles sparingly. A good rule of thumb is, if the food can sit on a shelf or in a cupboard for weeks or months, IT. IS. NOT. CLEAN.

Before we get started, you should understand that I in no way, shape or form consider myself an expert on this subject. I have been maintaining a clean diet for the past three weeks, with the exception of our camping trip this past weekend (UGH!!!!!), so I’ve done lots of reading, research and Googling. This post is intended to help you kick start your clean eating lifestyle.

 

With that said, let’s get started.

Don’t wait, do these EIGHT!

1. EAT LOTS OF VEGGIES

There are many benefits to eating more fruits and vegetables. Vegetables are full of vitamins, with many boasting vitamin A (Essential for healthy vision and immune function) and vitamin K (aids in keeping your bones healthy). Vegetables are also high in heart-healthy fiber, which helps you feel full. Additionally, vegetables are low in calories, so you can eat lots of them without damaging your waistline. (Can I get a HOLLA?) Fresh vegetables are as clean as they come since they are unprocessed and come straight from the garden vine, garden plant or farm. If you are concerned about pesticides and junk, you can do your own research about that. All I can suggest is to wash all vegetables (and fruit!) before consuming. Most of your clean eating plan should come from this section of the store (and blog post). Remember that most veggies (aside from starchy ones) can be eaten in abundance. A general rule for vegetables (and some fruit) is the darker / richer the color, the more vitamins, minerals and phytonutrients it contains.

[Pay no attention to the Rolo and Twix you see in this picture. They have no business sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.]

VEGETABLE SUGGESTIONS

  • Carrots
  • Celery
  • Spinach
  • Broccoli
  • Bell Peppers in any color
  • Zucchini
  • Eggplant
  • Squash of any variety
  • Kale
  • Chard
  • Collard greens
  • Okra
  • Green beans
  • Tomatoes
  • Sweet potatoes
  • Onions of any variety
  • Any other fresh veggie you enjoy

 

2. EAT MORE FRUIT

Most fruit is “clean”, however it does contain natural sugar. This can be confusing to the body. Fruit is a great snack or dessert option but should not be consumed in excess. And just like vegetables, fresh fruits are whole, unprocessed foods. Frozen, canned and dried fruit is minimally processed and can be a great clean-eating choice also. You will need to check the ingredient list to be sure that there is no sugar added. It is also best to look for fruit canned in its own juice. To make sure you get the added heart-health and weight-loss benefits of fiber, choose whole fruits over fruit juice.

FRUIT SUGGESTIONS

  • Apples
  • Bananas
  • Grapes
  • Pineapple
  • Pears
  • Raisins
  • Plums
  • Nectarines
  • Oranges
  • Grapefruits
  • Banana
  • Avocados
  • Berries of all kinds
  • Cherries
  • Kiwi
  • Star fruit
  • Any other fresh fruit you enjoy

 3. DAIRY CAN BE CONTRARY

Dairy can be contrary and confusing when trying to eat clean. Dairy products provide several health benefits – especially improved bone health. Foods in the Dairy Group provide nutrients that are vital for health and maintenance of your body. These nutrients include calcium, potassium, vitamin D, and protein. Full fat dairy products are best because when the fat is removed, it is often replaced with sugar and chemicals. Fat is good for you, chemicals are not. Again, when you read dairy labels, the list should be very short. (For example Daisy brand sour cream has ONE ingredient.) Stick with dairy with as few ingredients as possible.

Greek yogurt – look for few ingredients- artificial sweeteners should not be one of them.

Milk – This is a personal preference. I have been drinking almond milk, but use cow’s milk for scrambling eggs. Generally, low-fat milk typically means the more processed it is.

Cottage cheese (If you eat it, I DON’T!) – Full fat is best, but you can also use low fat. (NOT fat free.)

Yogurt – (I’m not a fan of yogurt either, but I’ve been eating it because BENEFITS!) Always opt for Greek yogurt when you can. Plain yogurt (regular or Greek) is the only way to go. (For added flavor, you can mix in fruits, along with a dab of honey or maple syrup.)

Cheese – Most cheeses should be eaten in moderation due to their high fat content. Block cheese is best. Pre-shredded cheeses should be avoided because they have additives and preservatives. If you have a hankerin’ for cheese, buy a block and get to shredding. Real grated Parmesan cheese is acceptable in moderation.

Unsweetened rice, coconut or soy milk – I can’t give any advice here, I’ve not tried any of it.

DAIRY SUGGESTIONS

  • Greek yogurt
  • Block cheese
  • Cottage Cheese
  • Ricotta Cheese
  • Feta Cheese
  • Almond milk

4. CUT DOWN ON SATURATED FAT

You don’t have to cut out fats when you’re eating clean; instead you’ll need to focus on healthy fats. It sounds difficult, but really, it’s as simple as trading saturated fats (those found in butter, cheese and meat) for healthy fats like olive oil, canola oil and the fat found in nuts and fatty fish. The benefit is that these fats are good for your heart and can help raise your good cholesterol. The saturated fats (found in butter, cheese and meat) are associated with increased risk of heart disease and need to be limited, or else HEART ATTACK. Some simple good-fat, bad-fat substitutions are: topping a salad with nuts in place of cheese, eating avocado on a sandwich instead of mayo. (I don’t eat avocado, but as I understand it, it is good for you), and using natural peanut butter in place of cream cheese.

FATS AND OILS

Oils are fats that are liquid at room temperature, like the vegetable oils used in cooking. Oils come from many different plants and from fish. Oils are NOT a food group, but they provide essential nutrients. For that reason, they are an important part of the clean eating diet.

FATS AND OILS SUGGESTIONS

  • Raw almonds
  • Raw sunflower seeds
  • Raw nuts (not salted, oil dipped or covered in chocolate)
  • All natural peanut butter or almond butter
  • Coconut oil (I haven’t tried this but hear it is quite good.)
  • Extra virgin olive oil
  • Flax seed
  • Chia seeds

5. WHOLE GRAINS ARE GOOD, REFINED GRAINS ARE BAD

Bread and pasta aren’t clean by true definition but the standard American diet needs it. So, your best bet is to pick the highest whole grain quality ingredients and eat it in moderation.

Whole grains include more nutrients than refined grains because the bran and germ are not removed. Look for the word “whole” with the first ingredient in breads and pastas—for example, make sure it says “whole wheat,” not just “wheat.” Outside of whole wheat, choose whole grains like quinoa, oats and brown rice.

Cutting out white flour and refined grains is an easy way to eat cleaner. Refined grains have been milled, a process that removes the bran and germ. This is done to give grains a finer texture and improve their shelf life, but it also removes dietary fiber, iron, and many B vitamins. Refined grains are typically found in unhealthy packaged foods, like baked goods and junky snack foods that may also deliver added sugars, saturated fats and extra sodium. Instead of buying [packaged refined carbs] cookies, crackers and cakes, white rice, white bread and white pasta, you should be buying brown rice, whole wheat bread and pasta.

GRAIN SUGGESTIONS

  • Oatmeal
  • Quinoa (a rare complete protein!! Oh, and also pronounced kin-wa)
  • Whole wheat or whole grain pasta
  • Brown rice
  • Buckwheat
  • Barley
  • Black rice
  • Wild rice
  • Ezekiel bread
  • 100% whole grain bread / pasta products (in moderation)

6. EAT LESS MEAT

Eating clean doesn’t mean giving up on meat entirely, but eating less meat can help eliminate extra saturated fat from your diet. A serving of meat is just three ounces (think deck of cards)—but portions served at restaurants and even at home tend to be larger than that. It’s best to get protein from beans and tofu (I haven’t tried this!) some nights and then smaller portions of meat (in soups and stir-frys) on the other nights.

Eggs – Eggs are important, especially egg whites. Since most of the nutrition is in the yolk, you shouldn’t leave them out often.

Chicken & Turkey – Boneless, skinless poultry breasts are great if you eat meat.

Beef can be part of a clean eating diet – but should be grass fed and humanely raised beef. If you’re like me, you’ll have no idea how to know this, so you might ask a butcher or meat cutter to help you select these. If you are wanting to forgo beef, try venison, bison or buffalo. Both are very similar in flavor.

Pork – While not everyone believes pork to be a clean food, it’s actually clean if you get the good quality pork. Processed pork is BAD. So, ham are Canadian bacon are definitely NOT part of a clean eating meal plan.

Venison – This is a very lean meat and can be used in place of beef in most recipes.

Fish – Most fish is considered clean, just be careful of the mercury content found in most fish you’ll find in your grocery store.

MEAT AND PROTEIN SUGGESTIONS

  • Chicken breast
  • Eggs
  • Salmon
  • Tilapia (white fish in general)
  • Tuna
  • Lean turkey, pork or beef
  • Tofu
  • Black beans
  • Kidney beans
  • Pinto beans

7. LIMIT YOUR SUGAR INTAKE (This is the hardest one for me!)

Most people eat too many added sugars. To clean up your diet, cut down on added sugars in your diet by limiting sweets like soda, candy and baked goods. Look for foods without sugar as an ingredient, or make sure it’s listed towards the bottom, which means less of it is used in the food.

8. HALT THE SALT

Eating too much salt can increase your blood pressure. The average American eats more than the recommended 2,300 mg of sodium per day (that’s about one teaspoon of salt). Cutting back on processed foods will help you reduce your salt intake, as most packaged foods contain more sodium than homemade versions. To help minimize salt while you cook, flavor your food with herbs and spices, citrus and vinegar.

CONIDIMENTS, SPICES and NATURAL SWEETNERS

Ketchup – It’s virtually impossible to find a clean ketchup. I bought organic ketchup and called it a day.

Mustard – Mustard is tough too. I’d suggest Dijon.

Honey

Pure Maple Syrup – The real stuff, not the kind found in restaurants.

Spices – Any herbs you buy should come in bulk or a bottle. Most seasoning packets are not clean. Garlic and onion powder are good options, so long as they don’t include. Several of the Mrs. Dash spice blends are good, but again, you’ll need to read the ingredients.

CONDIMENT / SPICE SUGGESTIONS

  • Salsa
  • Siracha
  • Tabasco sauce
  • Hot sauce
  • Low sodium soy sauce
  • Hummus
  • RAW honey
  • Stevia (in moderation)
  • Mrs. Dash
  • Apple cidar vinegar and balsamic vinaigrette.
  • (Ranch dressing can be made with a ranch seasoning packet and Greek yogurt)

OTHER FOOD SUGGESTIONS

Tea – particularly green tea

Oatmeal – Just the plain kind. Nothing flavored. Opt for steel cut oats or traditional rolled oats. (Though if I’m being honest, the steel cut oats made me gag.) Add fruit, raisins, maple syrup, honey or a dollop of peanut butter to make it more appealing.

Canned items with no added sugar – Due to the BPA’s in cans, there is much debate as to whether or not canned items, even without added sugar and salt, are clean. If you do decide to purchase things like beans or tomato sauce in a can, read the ingredients! There should be no added sugar in the list. (Words to avoid on the list of ingredients are sugar, evaporated cane juice, corn syrup, dextrose, high fructose corn syrup and fructose.) Canned foods typically also contain lots of sodium, so be careful. It adds up quick.

Dry beans and legumes – like lentils, black beans, chickpeas, etc.

Whole wheat flour (pastry flour, white whole wheat flour, coconut and almond flour are all good.)

Legumes Edamane, beans, garbanzo beans (chickpeas) and lentils

I hope this information helps get you on your way to eating clean. Or at least eating CLEANER.

I  plan to post some of my favorite clean recipes here in the days to come.

If you decide to give clean eating a try, I’d love for you to let me know how it goes.

 

Happy New Year!

We rang in the New Year here at the McResidence with McDaddy’s two brothers, his sister and their families. In all, there were 19 of us sleeping in this house last night. Twelve of those people were under the age of 11.

We partied like rock-stars until well after midnight.

Or something like that.

This is my sister-in-law, Michelle and I (and the cute cowl she made for my 40th birthday!) just before midnight.

All the while, the kids were going nine kinds of crazy just behind us with blow-horns that I got at the Mart of Walls. [Have you ever had the joy of hearing TWELVE blow horns at one time? If not, you most definitely should.]

Anyway, a few days earlier, I saw a picture on Carrie Ann Innaba’s Facebook page that included a box of envelopes, along with members of her family holding cash money. (If you’ve ever been to a party at my house, you know that I am a sucker for games and prizes, so I am always on the lookout for a new game AND this one seemed fun!)

First, I bought a box of envelopes and a gift card.

Then, I searched my house over for flat items that would fit inside of the envelopes.

(And this is where I should include a picture of those items, but I got over zealous and placed the items in the envelopes before taking a picture.)

I randomly placed 20 coupons for a free frosty at Wendy’s (which I bought for Halloween treat bags and THEN FORGOT ABOUT), six gift cards for free games of bowling (which the boys received months ago when attending a birthday party at the bowling alley), three packets of Kool-Aid (we get wild and crazy up in here, folks!) two bookmarks, a ten-dollar bill and a five-dollar bill in the envelopes.

We sat in a circle (kids and adults) and passed the box of envelopes, pulling one envelope at a time until all the envelopes were pulled. It was so much fun and even the youngest child (3 years old) caught on pretty quick. The even funnier part is that the envelope box fell to the floor as it was being passed and the envelopes spilled out all over the floor. We ended up placing the envelopes in a basket to finish the game out.

If you are friends with me on Facebook, you should go HERE right now and watch our nephew, Noah FINALLY picking a winning envelope after several rounds of picking an empty one. (I’m hoping the link works!)

And of course we ate. And ate. And ate some more.

It was a wonderful way to ring in the New Year and we all had a great time together.

I am looking forward to a wonderful 2014!

Trix Or Treats

I did something today that I have never done in my adult life.

I purchased a box of Trix cereal.

I have serious issues with the Trix Rabbit because years ago, “Trix Rabbit” was my nickname.

Before orthodontic intervention, my teeth were a hot mess. Because of that, a couple of boys in my Jr. High (now called Middle School) home room nicknamed me “Trix Rabbit”.  I haven’t been able to stand the sight of that stupid rabbit since then.

And even though I looked nothing like that idiotic rabbit, I have since refused to buy the cereal because it reminded me of those stupid boys calling me a stupid name.

Just to be clear, this is the way I looked back then,

It’s been 25 years, but I have never forgotten their words.

Fast forward to 2013.

I was snooping around on Pinterest and found a recipe for Trix treats. I knew immediately this was something the boys would like. The only problem is, I don’t buy Trix cereal.

But this morning?

I bought some butter, a bag of mini-marshmallows and Lord, help me, a box of Trix cereal.

Doesn’t it look like the Trix Rabbit is going after those marshmallows?

If you’ve spent any amount of time around here, you know that I have a few requirements for making a recipe.

  • Quick
  • Easy
  • Fail proof  (this one *might* be a stretch because it doesn’t take much for me to mess something up in the kitchen)

Ingredients

  • 1 regular size bag of mini marshmallows
  • 1 box of Trix cereal (about 9 cups)
  • ¼ cup butter

Instructions

  • Place the marshmallows and butter in a glass bowl and microwave for 2 minutes, 30 seconds.
  • Grease a 9×13 pan
  • Stir butter and marshmallow mixture.
  • Pour mixture over Trix and stir until all cereal is well coated. (It will be tough to stir, but keep at it!)
  • Spoon (or SHOVE in this case) into a large 9×13 pan and press down with a spoon.
  • Cut and enjoy.

Aren’t they pretty?

While I will probably never be a big fan of the Trix Rabbit, I am a HUGE fan of the Trix Treats.

And you will be, too!

Happy Halloween, y’all!

Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History

I first started blogging to document all the crazy that happens in my life. I also hoped that I might get to eventually host reviews and giveaways of really cool products. What I didn’t count on was the friends I would make along the way. When I first made the decision to author From Inmates To Playdates back in 2008, I contacted two bloggers about blog design and hosting. Since that time, I have become FB friends with Heather and Jo Lynne and quite honestly, I consider them friends even though I have never met either of them.

Earlier this year, I received an email from a friend asking if I’d be interested in attending an Extraordinary Women conference in Roanoke, Virginia. When I found out that Third Day would be performing and Missy Robertson would be speaking, I said, “Oh yes, Sister, sign me up!”

A few days before the conference I was talking to McDaddy and mentioned something about returning on Sunday. He was confused (it doesn’t take much when you’re dealing with me) and told me he thought that we’d be back on Saturday. When I looked up the conference online I wondered what the heck was happening to my mind. Not only was McDaddy correct about me returning on Saturday, BUT ALSO that the conference was in Roanoke AND HOLY CRAP THAT’S WHERE HEATHER LIVES!

I contacted Heather on Facebook and said:

So…. I will be in Roanoke for Extraordinary Women on October 4-5. Any chance you’ll be there, too?

She replied minutes later with

I’m working it – the Spirit FM booth – Need a place to crash? I have plenty of room! But yes! We MUST get together!

So.

In a matter of minutes, a perfect stranger who I had only talked to online had invited me and three of my girlfriends to spend the night in her home. She messaged me her phone number and asked if we’d want to meet her and some friends for coffee and doughnuts after the conference and/or dinner after the conference on Saturday night.

I was going to Roanoke with three girlfriends. I texted them to ask if they’d like to go for doughnuts after the conference on Friday or dinner on Saturday with a friend of mine. I might have neglected to mention that I had never met my “friend.” While we were at the hotel getting ready, I mentioned in casual conversation that although I had been “friends” with Heather since 2008, I had never actually met her.

There was some silence.

Some bugged out eyes.

A look of ARE YOU CRAZY?

And a look of WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU THINKING?”

And it dawned on me that this whole thing probably sounded crazy.

Still, I was excited to meet her!

Once we arrived at the arena (and waited in a ridiculously LONG line to get into the conference), I texted Heather to let her know I was there. She texted back to say she’d be there to meet me as soon as she could get away. As I waited for Heather on the concourse, I felt like I was on a blind date. The crowd in the arena was crazy and it was hotter than you-know-what in there. Within minutes, I was face to face with my friend and we hugged like sisters separated at birth. After five years, I was face to face with my blog designer, Heather.

I could tell immediately that we would be fast IN REAL LIFE friends.

Because she was actually volunteering at the conference, we weren’t able to talk long. We talked long enough for me to find out that her friend Cheryl – who was also at the conference – was a fan of my blog. It took me a second to process that. After writing this blog for five years, it is easy to forget that actual living, breathing people who I DO NOT KNOW stop in here day after day to read this mess, especially given my excessive comma usage and my flair for the dramatic. Only thing I can figure out is that my crazy makes your crazy seem less crazy. I told Heather that we’d love to meet her and her friend for doughnuts and coffee after the conference and we parted ways.

And then I giggled out loud thinking about the fact that I had a fan.

The conference was jam-packed. Unfortunately, so was the friggin’ parking lot. There were cars everywhere and not a one of them was moving. After the conference we sat on that stupid parking lot for 35 minutes, which might have been enough to put me over the edge because I hate to wait – especially at a stand still – but thankfully, when four women get together almost anything can make them laugh. Especially something like this:

It still cracks me the heck up thinking about the license plate and the whole “well-behaved women” thing. In fact, it was an on-going joke the entire weekend with my girlfriends.

And just for the record, there’s a pretty good chance I might make history someday.

Because it was midnight before we moved off of the arena parking lot, we decided that it was too late to go out for coffee and doughnuts, but agreed to go to dinner after the conference on Saturday.

Y’all.

Dinner was, um, an experience.

Heather told us about a nearby Mexican joint called El Rodeo. I was a little leery because let’s face it, Mexican restaurants can be a crap shoot, and when I order my “Chicken Fajita Chimichanga without guacamole anywhere on the plate” I have high expectations. Heather and my fan her friend Cheryl were already at the table chowing on the chips and salsa when we arrived at the restaurant. The waiter showed up at the table almost instantly, and before I knew what had hit me I was blushing and speechless because our waiter was off the hook. If you know me IRL you know that it is difficult to embarrass me and that I am rarely ever speechless.

In his defense, the six of us were more than any one man should have to handle by himself. He rose to the challenge. When my friend Jessica – while looking at the menu, mind you – asked “So, what’s good?” ol boy didn’t miss a beat when he responded with, “Me!”

Y’all.

I about fell out of my seat.

I was just like, “Well, alright! This cat is crazy as we are!” and I kinda figured the El Rodeo hadn’t seen this much excitement in a very long time. Our waiter, who I learned, was named Dennis (which cracks me up, because how many Mexicans do you know named Dennis?) was great. The chips and salsa were some of the best I have ever had  and my chicken fajita chimichanga (which I have never seen on a menu) was yummy. I would suggest you skip the “cheese sauce” though, unless you like more mayonnaise than you do cheese or sauce.

As we were diggin’ through our purses for money to pay the bill, I remembered that I had a pile of pennies in my wallet. I couldn’t resist leaving our new Mexican friend, Dennis a message (and no this was not his only tip) on the table.

Don’t ask me why I left the word H-O-T. It could be because I only had 33 pennies and couldn’t think of anything better. Or it could be because Dennis kept using the word “caliente” and it only seemed appropriate. Whatever the reason, he seemed embarrassed when he went to our table to retrieve his tip.

That’s Dennis there on the right.

He probably thinks we are a bunch of crazy lunatics.

And he is half-right.

I had so much fun this past weekend. I REALLY enjoyed Third Day, Tim Hawkins and Missy Robertson. But more than that, I LOVED meeting my friend, Heather.

And my new Mexican friend, Dennis.

Totally Random Nonsense

It is with regret that I announce that I shot my wad on the SLIMpossible diet today.

While at the hospital for most of the day, I found myself with about six minutes to scarf down some “lunch”. I made a quick trip to the hospital snack bar and settled on a bag of Doritos and a chocolate pudding parfait, which I could not pass up because, HAVE YOU EVER HAD ONE? And, in a moment of weakness, I swallowed four thin mints, almost whole.

On an unrelated note, who named those suckers THIN mints anyway? I realize they are THIN, but that’s the last thing anyone who eats them is going to be. (Especially when you eat an entire sleeve. * Not that I’ve ever done that! *

In my defense though, I did come home and spend an hour with Leslie Sansone in an attempt to work that parfait and the Doritos and those four measly 160 calorie THIN mints off.

For weeks (or maybe it’s been months at this point) my kitchen counter has looked like this because the screen on that pretty pink laptop decided to quit working.

Only, I did move the monitor and keyboard over toward the wall to clear up half the counter.

But alas, I am pleased to report that tonight I am no longer sitting on that HARD bar stool. Instead, I am blogging from the comfort of my big, blue, bloggy couch with a brand spankin’ new laptop with a screen that works.

Hallelujah.

And Amen.

My tailbone thanks you, McDaddy.

And I do, too!

I heard bad news today.

I mean REALLY bad news.

I haven’t been able to think about much else since I heard the news.

Can you believe that my beloved Maksim Chremkovskiy will not be on this season of Dancing With The Stars?

That makes me nine kinds of unhappy.

But seeing these at the hospital today sure made me smile.

Yes, those are tennis shoes.

The nurse wearing them explained that they are specially designed tennis shoes (called Z-Coils) for people with a bad back. I think they are super cool and really, I MEAN REALLY wanted to ask her if I could try them on. But instead, I just snapped a picture all secret-squirrel right in the middle of the E-R.

She bought them on a Canadian website and they were $240. And before you ask, for once I wasn’t the one asking nosy questions. My dad happened to be in the E-R with me and his nose is way bigger than mine! (Hi Dad!) He was asking her all kinds of questions.

[On an unrelated note: Since receiving a tablet for Christmas, my daddy has joined the ranks with LBF’s all over the nation. And you can bet the farm it is killing him not knowing what the heck an LBF is.

I do not suffer from back, joint or foot pain (but remember I still have butt pain from sitting on that hard bar stool!), still, I really want a pair of those shoes. They are cool and from what I understand very comfortable. Not to mention I am finding, at the ripe age of 39, that comfort trumps cute every. single. time.

Oh, and on the off-chance that the fine folks from Z-Coil end up here at From Inmates To Playdates, Inc., you should know that I would LOVE an opportunity to work with you on a review/giveaway promotion. Just have your people call my people and we’ll set something up!

And just like THAT, I realize the time on my laptop is an hour off.

Danggit.

Crazy random posts work for me!

Mission SLIMpossible Update

So, we just rounded the corner into week five (of eight) and I am so happy to report I am down nine pounds.

NINE!

As in, almost ten!

I am so stinkin’ happy about that because, well, NINE POUNDS IN FOUR WEEKS AND TWO DAYS.

The nine pound loss makes all the 45-minute exercise sessions worth it.

The nine pound loss makes the 2 minute, 20 second wall-sits worth it.

The nine pound loss makes the frantic searches for foods on my Fitness Pal APP worth it.

If I’m being honest, the nine pound loss might be a twelve pound loss if I could cut the coca-cola umbilical cord for good. I allow myself one 90-calorie can per day (roughly about two swigs) and if we eat out, I usually only allow myself one glass. Still, I am so happy because y’all, I’VE LOST NINE POUNDS. You can’t imagine how excited I am that my middle number FINALLY changed!

And I might have heard harps playin’ and angels singin had I not been whooping it up and dancing around the bathroom like a crazy fool.

On top of that, for the first time in three weeks, I actually consumed half of my body weight in water over the past 24 hours.

My bladder is screaming for mercy.

But my booty is saying BRING IT THE HECK ON sister! I can tell a noticeable difference in the way my pants fit. And my thighs ache all the time, probably from the darn wall-sits.

All in all, it’s been a great week for this shrinking sunshine.

How I Lost Big This Week:

  • My normal 45 minute (6 day per week) exercise video (which is a 3-mile walk) along with the addition of crunches, donkey kicks and wall-sits.
  • In the past two weeks, I have been slacking on the water consumption. I am an all-or-nothing type of gal, and when I couldn’t do the “half my body weight in ounces thing” I just decided I wouldn’t even try to get the original 64-ounces in. I decided to kick that back up a notch this week and get the 64-ounces in. But I decided that today is the day I would. put. it. away. (Anybody remember that cheer?)
  • Stayed within my allotted calories five out of seven days.

Goals For Next Week:

  • Drink at least 64-ounces of water each day.
  • Stay within my caloric limit at least five of seven days.
  • Steer clear of sweets at least four days this week.

Unfortunately the jury is still out on the Ceylon cinnamon / raw honey gag gig. Everything I have read online about the dynamic duo suggests a person can expect to lose 3-4 pounds a week by simply taking the nastiness just before bed and first thing in the morning. And y’all, I not only added the nastiness… I am also exercising at least 45 minutes a day, drinking water like I’m being paid to drink it, not eating anything after 9pm, and counting my friggin’ calories.

*big sigh*

I’m gonna give it one more week and then I am done with the CCRH ritual.

And as always, if you have any advice, dietary, or exercise suggestions, I’d love to hear it.

What I Learned This Week

I had a glorious day. And by glorious, I mean there was no school today which means NO STUPID ALARM CLOCK FOR ME thankyouverymuch!

And since there was no school, that also means I didn’t have to check any math homework. But, just in case you were wondering, Stevie did receive the requirements for yet another 4th grade project on Friday, less than a week after his last project – The Martin Luther King, Jr. passport – was due. Heaven help me, I’m sure there will be a time when I will miss scouring the house for pipe cleaners, and repeating “We need to get this thing done!” 419 times over a three-day period, but right now, I just need a break from the project. In the meantime, I’ll be overseeing the painting of a cereal box.

It was 64 degrees today so I decided today would be the day I would do all my runnin’.

First, we had to drop off scout shirts at the tailor because Alex is a first-time scout, and as a Webelos, Stevie changes from the navy blue shirt to the khaki one, so there are all kinds of patches to be sewn on. And no, I cannot do it myself, because 1. I don’t sew, and 2. I don’t think I even have a needle up in this joint. The cub-master made an announcement at our scout meeting that a seamstress at a men’s clothing store downtown charges $1.00 per patch, but I found that out to be a big fat lie when I was charged $21.20 for 18 patches. And then, when I discovered that I had given her the wrong information about Stevie’s Webelos shirt and returned to the store to let her know I only needed 8 patches sewn on, she told them to credit my card $5.00. I questioned her about the charge-per-patch fee and all of a sudden her broken english became EVEN MORE BROKEN and LORD HELP ME AND MY PATIENCE. After some “negotiations” they credited my account $7.00 and I learned a very important lesson today.

1. Next time, let McDaddy take the shirts to the Guard Base and be done with it, even if it takes two more weeks to get them back.

After that, we headed for the mall so that I could get my grubby hands on a copy of Big Mama’s book, Sparkly Green Earrings. Seeing Melanie’s name in print totally makes me want to write a book now (which will make my mother-in-law happy because she has told me for years that I should totally write one!).

And yes, I realize this wasn’t the greatest of hair days. You can blame the crazy West Virgina wind. Still, I am so excited for her. If I lived in Texas I suspect we’d be fast friends, because we share a love for reality television and chips and salsa.

And speaking of chips and salsa… (don’t you just love my segue?) I learned something else today.

2. Even during the Biggest Loser competition it is possible to eat your favorite meal at Chilis, even though combined it has more than 2,500 calories. The realization that I could just eat half the meal was like getting hit upside the head with a football. I was so proud of myself for sending 2 whole chicken crispers and half of my sides back.

I also learned:

3. I am really craving chocolate this week.

4. I am having a hard time not eating chocolate this week.

5. I have no business buying Betty Crocker’s Brownie Cookie Supreme Bars.

6. You can’t really count salsa as a serving of vegetables. Or can you? It is made up of mostly vegetables….

7. Those little 90 calorie Cokes are handy as all get-out.

8. An itty-bitty Peppermint Patty has 50 calories. A total waste of 50 calories in my humble opinion.

9. I really, really, REALLY need to sync my calendars.

10. Always back-up your beloved iPhone before updating your operating system.

11. If you lose your contacts when updating your IOS, it is possible to get them back, though, they may return in duplicate or triplicate form.

12. Zumba for Wii provides a great workout.

That’s what I learned this week.

Now, what did YOU learn?

To join in on the What I Learned This Week carnival, simply follow these steps.

1. Any time this week, publish your What I Learned This Week post on your blog and then, be sure to link BACK TO MY BLOG. I have never really pushed this issue, but it’s the nice thing to do.

2. Paste the link to your post in the Mr. Linky form down below. Please be sure you are posting the link to your post and not the front page of your blog.

3. Visit the other participants and see what they learned this week, too!

Alrightythen. Ready, Set, GO!


Just Some More Of My Crazy

It is Tuesday evening and I am watching Dance Moms. It is that time of the month and I would knock a joker flat-out right now for a chocolate cake donut connection donut. Folks, 39-year-old hormones do not play. Especially when they’ve been on a  five-week biggest loser quest.

Phew. It feels good to get that off of my chest.

And speaking of donuts, I am hungry.

I am also cold.

In fact, I have been cold for weeks.

It probably doesn’t help that its a whopping 27 degrees here. I’m cold outside. I’m cold inside. No matter what I do, I can’t really get warm and stay warm. McDaddy turned up the heat this past weekend, but I think the thermostat is on strike because it sits out in the weather and if I had to sit out in that weather, I’d just give up, too!

It’s so cold, that McDaddy found two dead mice (2 DEAD MICE) in a trashcan in the closet where our hot water tank is. The stupid suckers came in here to get warm and froze to death in a trashcan.  Luckily, McDaddy disposed of the bodies before I even knew they were here in the house, but don’t think I don’t look in that trashcan every single time I walk past that room in the basement now. McDaddy said they simply stopped by to see their cousins – Duke and Apolo (our hamsters) but we won’t even go there.

And speaking of two DEAD MICE, I am ready to MOVE!

Because if my math is correct (and it probably isn’t!) and provided that the very first mouse we ever caught in a trap around here was the actual mouse involved in the standoff, that brings the total mouse count over the course of three years in this house to FIVE. And the last four have been caught over the course of the last three weeks.

So… We’re looking for a 4-bedroom house, free of mice, with a level driveway, on a level road, that is not in a flood plain, that is free of mice, and has a large garage. Actually, a 2-car garage would suit me just fine, but McDaddy is of the opinion that you can never have too many garages. Or vehicles for that matter.

I am looking forward to spring. And so are my flip-flops.

And did I mention, I was hungry?

The only thing I have to look forward to eating this evening is the raw honey/Ceylon cinnamon cocktail I’ll have just before I go to bed.

I have several friends who are using this concoction for weight loss, but stupid me used the wrong cinnamon the entire first week, and well, after a little research, I learned that did more harm than good. I’ll be sure to let you know if it’s effective.

One thing I can tell you is that raw honey stinks and tastes nasty. At first, I was eating both the honey and cinnamon straight off the spoon while holding my nose. On several occasions, I gagged and came ever so close to puking before talking the little hangy-down thing in my throat into hanging on just a second longer while I swallowed that mess. It reminded me of Fear Factor and what those people must have felt like when they were challenged to eat a Madagascar hissing cockroach. Though, I’m sure this raw honey with its pieces of bee wings and pollen is much worse. McDaddy downs it without the first bit of trouble, but after 20 years of my cooking, I guess maybe raw honey isn’t so bad after all.

Yes, you read that right. McDaddy is taking the concoction too, which surprises me because he typically sings “The Witch Doctor Song” anytime I get the bright idea to try something at home that might be better treated by a real, living, breathing, Doctor.

Like when I told him I was going to let my friend Jessica do ear candling on me.

He had a heyday with that one (and still reminds me of it from time to time), but if he had eczema of the inner ear like I do, he’d try anything once. I would never want you to think I was peddling medical advice around here (though I’ve been known to self-diagnose myself a time or ten), so before you try the ear candling, you should know that most of the research regarding ear candles, well, just read this….

Ear candling, also called ear coning or thermal-auricular therapy, is an alternative medicine practice claimed to improve general health and well-being by lighting one end of a hollow candle and placing the other end in the ear canal. Medical research has shown that the practice is both dangerous and ineffective and does not help remove earwax or so-called toxins.

Dang.

I guess me and my PMS will go to bed, where hopefully I will dream of eating donuts on a beach and not a pair of dead mice in my basement trash-can.

You’re welcome.

Pep In My Step

It was a beautiful day in our neighborhood.

The good news is, it was a wonderful, beautiful, perfect for January 70 degrees.

The bad news is, this…


As much as I love have the JEEP in the garage on cold January mornings, I miss having the SKY here at the house for rare 70 degree days in January.

Aside from the beautiful weather, I spent much of the day trying to burn calories. I had plans to eat at Chilis with some girlfriends and knew I’d more than likely be ordering the chicken crispers / mashed potatoes / corn on the cob combo which has about a bazillion calories.

3,210 calories to be exact.

Let’s just say I didn’t exercise nearly enough, and I finished the day in the caloric hole.

But enough about calories, because tomorrow is a new day, right?

And I plan to do better.

The weather guy warned that we could have 60 mile-high winds tomorrow, along with thunder showers. The temperature is supposed to be in the 60’s. The rest of the week calls for snow, snow and more snow.

I can’t tell you how sad that makes me.

I long for the day that I can put on my flip-flops, drop the top, and drive around all afternoon blaring my SKY tunes playlist. But for now, I use that playlist when I exercise. Here’s a sampling of whats on there:

  • Rag Doll – Aerosmith
  • Give Me Your Eyes – Brandon Heath
  • Rolling In The Deep – Adele
  • City On Our Knees – TobyMac (did you know I recently got to meet TobyMac?)
  • There Is A Way – NewWorldSon
  • Have Fun, Go Mad – Blair (love this one!)
  • Play That Funky Music – Adam Lambert
  • Feelin’ So Fly – TobyMac
  • The Way You Make Me Feel – Michael Jackson
  • These Thousand Hills – Third Day
  • Lose My Soul – TobyMac (My favorite of his songs!)
  • You Learn – Alanis Morissette
  • Poison – Bell Biv Devoe
  • Motownphilly – Boyz II Men
  • Fantastic Voyage – Coolio
  • Hold On – EnVogue (Can you tell I loved 90’s music?)
  • Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia) – Us3
  • If I Had No Loot – Tony! Toni! Tone’!

If these songs don’t get you moving, I don’t know what will. They sure work for me when I’m trying to put some pep in my step.

I’d love to hear your suggestions for some fresh, new workout material. You know, down there in the comments.

What are you waiting on?

Mission SLIMpossible Update

Two weeks ago, I posted about the biggest loser competition I am competing in. It’s called Mission SLIMpossible and Monday morning marks the start of week 4 – which means we are at the half-way point of the competition. I also promised to provide weekly updates here on the blog in hopes that y’all would help keep me accountable.

I want to thank each one of you who took time away from your busy schedule to leave me some encouragement. I downloaded the My Fitness APP as a result of those comments and I have to say it has made a huge difference in my daily weight-loss effort.

Here’s the good news:

Every couple of days, our leader, Tracy, posts a Virtual Challenge. The virtual challenges aren’t required but are an extra way to earn extra points throughout the competition. Our challenge for the weekend was to walk, crawl, jog, tip-toe, or run three miles.

Which wouldn’t necessarily be a big deal if it wasn’t 24 friggin’ degrees outside.

I just completed a 45-minute exercise video Tracy posted on our group page which is the equivalent of walking three miles. It’s actually a You-Tube video which might make some of you roll your eyes, but how ’bout you go do it, then come back here and tell me if your heart’s a bangin’.

(And yes, that is exactly how I talk. The spell check has a time with me.)

I completed all four virtual challenges this week.

(They included 25 squats, 40 lunges, 40 leg-lifts, and the three-mile challenge.)

In addition to that, for the first time since I started the My Fitness Pal APP on January 22, 2013, I FINALLY finished the day with calories LEFT OVER.

Oh yes ma’am, I did.

And now, for the bad news.

You knew there’d be some, right?

On to the ridiculous water consumption challenge.

Just to remind you, every twenty-four hours, I am supposed to be drinking half of my body weight in ounces of water.

I completed that task zero days last week.

To be clear, I’m not saying it can’t be done. I’m just saying I didn’t do it.

I plan to attack that task with a vengeance starting tomorrow.

All in all, I did well, losing another pound.

How I lost big this week:

  • I didn’t.
  • I did, however, exercise 45 minutes for the required five days.
  • Oh, and it is worth mentioning I do not drink more than eight ounces of soda per day which is HUGE for this ol girl.

Goals for next week:

  • Drink the ridiculous amount required amount of water everyday. (Holy smokes folks, that is a lot of water, but I am committed.)
  • Stay within my calorie limit at least three days next week. (You’ve got to start somewhere, right?)
  • Exercise for 45 minutes at least five days next week.

Ok, I think that’s a wrap.

Any suggestions to help me along the way would be greatly appreciated.

Tune in tomorrow for another award-winning edition of What I Learned This Week. (Only, I’ve never really received any awards!)