Me, My Boy, and The Girls

I remember the night well.

It was a Sunday, and it was approximately 7:30 P.M. when we walked through the door with him. I remember looking at him, and then back at McDaddy and asking, “Well, now what do we do?”

Our household had just grown by two feet, and we were the proud [inexperienced] parents of a brand new baby boy.

When we left the hospital, not one single soul had asked for a license, or credentials. Or a resume. Or fingerprints. Rather, they wished us well and sent us on our way with this living, breathing baby boy who had stayed an extra night in the hospital. Without me. McDaddy spent that night shuffling breastmilk to the hospital so that the nursery nurses wouldn’t give our sweet boy formula, and ruin his taste-buds for the real deal.

I had no trouble producing milk. In fact, the hospital nurses were so amazed they ran in and out of my room, escorting their friends in to see the horrendous amount of liquid spewing from my mammary glands into the pump funnel. (The pump funnels are a whole ‘nother post, but seriously, the girls?  They loved to show off!)

Looking back on it, the whole breastfeeding ordeal was a big part of the problem in the beginning. While spending FOUR WEEKS on bedrest, I had read all kinds of books about how to care for this sweet baby. Unfortunately this was before we had a laptop and before I was an iAddict. McDaddy and I thought we were being all productive and responsible when we attended a child birth class and a breastfeeding class; both of which turned out to be a big waste of time because I ended up having a C-section AND because the breastfeeding instructor was full of crap. 

The breastfeeding instructor went on and on about breastfeeding being a natural act that even the Indians mastered. Not one time did this “experienced” instructor mention that we might have difficulty in this completely natural act, or that my boobs would be sore and agitated and mean.

Or that I might be sore, agitated and mean.

We were a pair.

For sure.

Me and my boobs, I mean.

Not me and the instructor.

For some reason, I had this grandiose idea that McDaddy and I would bring this tiny baby home and the three of us would live happily ever after here in our hill-top home (Welcome to the inside of my head!) The reality was though, that it was December, and there was snow and ice on top of this hill, and I had a newborn baby that had been born four-weeks early, and a pediatrician that instructed us to keep this sweet baby home for at least a month to avoid the Christmas crowds and germs. I had a newly engraved PERMANENT eight inch reminder that this sweet baby had to be extracted from my body, and when given a choice between eating and sleeping, I chose sleep every time because I was breastfeeding  feeding on demand around-the-clock which translates to no more than three hours of sleep at a time.

Is it any surprise that I was also nine kinds of depressed?

I had read about postpartum depression, but I was full of fun and laughter and had a healthy baby boy, and how in the world could anyone be depressed about that? And to make matters worse, my sweet baby boy didn’t get the memo about breastfeeding being natural and so every three hours I was reminded of what a breastfeeding failure I was. I would pump, feed, wash, rinse, and repeat.

And cry.

I cried because I couldn’t make him “latch” on.

I cried because I didn’t want to be alone when McDaddy went to work.

I cried because I felt like it.

I cried because I boiled pacifiers and melted every last one of them.

I cried because it snowed.

I cried because I was sore.

I cried when he cried.

I cried because I just knew I was going to mess this up.

And just about the time that I’d get myself convinced that I could do this it was time to feed. AGAIN.

And again I’d be reminded that I was a breastfeeding failure and why IN THE HECK can’t I make this work? Bless McDaddy’s heart, he would wash and assemble all the pieces of the pump and deliver them to me with a look on his face that said, YOU CAN DO THIS!

Only I wasn’t so sure.

I would repeat the whole crazy scene several times a day and eventually McDaddy made a phone call to our Pastor’s wife, who is also a Licensed Counselor. He mentioned to her that I might have *a touch* of postpartum depression and would she please be willing to talk to me about THE TEARS and THE HORMONES and THE BOOBS and THE CRAZY.

Ok. So maybe he didn’t really mention my boobs.

When we arrived at our Pastor’s house, I felt like a weight had been lifted. I was sitting before a seasoned mother of four boys and she was actually telling me that I. was. perfectly. normal. She laughed at my crying fit over the boiled pacifiers, explaining that I wouldn’t know true heartache until my sweet boy got his heart broke for the first time.

By a girl.

Or Girls.

As in plural.

Somebody shoot me.

Just put me out of my misery and shoot me now because as sure as God is my witness, I will not survive this motherhood gig.

Our Pastor and his wife comforted me, encouraged me, and prayed with me. And after that, our Pastor’s wife did her best to talk some sense into my sleep deprived, hormonally imbalanced head and by the end of our visit I was feeling some better. She reassured me that it would get better.

It HAD to get better.

And it did.

Not before I spent half the night pacing the floor and crying out to God to please make this sweet angel STOP CRYING, and convincing McDaddy that we needed to take him to the ER because OH MY WORD SOMETHING IS WRONG HE SHOULDN’T BE CRYING THIS LONG for no reason.

Only he was.

It took a frustrating THREE WHOLE MISERABLE WEEKS for Stevie to “latch” on. 

One afternoon my friend Amy was here visiting and I was sharing my breastfeeding frustrations with her. Out of nowhere, my sweet boy FINALLY latched on and I let out a war-hoop (which is a redneck way of saying I yelled real loud) and did a little dance in my chair. When he finished, I called my girlfriends, went door-to-door in my neighborhood, and I might have even announced it at church.

And little by little, this sweet boy and I came to an understanding – that I was ill-equipped to raise him and apparently he had drawn the short straw at the mommy choosing party – and he was just going to have to bear with me on this journey.

It wasn’t always easy but the three of us survived.

And in THREE SHORT YEARS, I signed up to do the whole thing again.

A Little Sit-uation

If you’re a regular visitor ’round these parts, you know that I spent about four weeks of my life shopping for living room furniture. I shopped frantically and often. I went a little crazier crazy.

We purchased our previous furniture immediately after moving into our home eight years ago. When I first saw it on the showroom floor, it jumped out at me and I loved it from that very first second. It was country and comfortable wrapped in one big fluffy package. It saw us through two babies, four weeks of bed-rest, Stevie falling off of it and passing out, lots of puke/poop episodes, and it has served as a bed for Stevie as he often wakes up to find himself sleeping on it, and I couldn’t tell you the number of 3 am nursing sessions that included me watching reruns of “The Cosby Show.” You could say that me and this couch has been through a lot.

Please say hello to our old couch.

It was an exciting day in our neighborhood because lookie here…

Two really nice fellas delivered our new furniture today.

Feast your eyes on this beauty.

 It’s sapphire blue and it all reclines. And, I should tell you that the pillows that you see are the pillows from our old couch. Our new pillows will match my beautiful country rocker which is not here yet.

Here’s the view from my big, blue, bloggychair.

I am tickled and it works for me!

I’ll be even more thrilled  when my country rocker makes its way to our doorstep to replace my big, blue, bloggy chair.

Visit THAT family for more Works For Me Wednesday posts.

Thursday Thirteen – Thirteen Things Stevie learned in Kindergarten

While the McFamily was enjoying the camping trip that I keep rambling on about, I had the chance to ask Stevie if he was getting excited about starting the first grade. We talked about how it would be different from Kindergarten and how much fun it would be meeting new people and having a new teacher.

As he began telling me about things he learned in Kindergarten, it struck me that a blog post was being born.  Because as you can imagine, I am always on the lookout for a good blog post. Especially one including thirteen of something. 

I waited until this week to post this one because school for our county started yesterday.

It was fun hearing about all the things he learned in Kindergarten. I’m sure his Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. F. will be pleased that he retained such useful information.

1. You should not bring a knife, bow, arrow or gun to school. (Ahem!)

2. Killer whales hunt fish and are friendly to humans. (I had no idea about the friendly part. Nothing with the word Killer in their name sounds friendly to me, but what do I know?)

3. I learned how to plus and minus.

You need to pay specific attention to these math lessons, Stevie. If your dad is working out of town, I’m afraid I will be of little help once you get to the really complicated math, say, around third grade.

4. If you do not milk a cow 2 -3 times each day, it will get sore and swollen.

I cannot speak for the cow, but I know this to be true. After breastfeeding, the girls will NEVER be the same.

5. One of our Rainbow rules was, “Respect All Property”

6. The counselor taught us about worrying and the opposite of worrying and why we shouldn’t worry.

7. The art teacher taught us how make really big snowflakes.

8. We learned that you should always turn off a computer when you are finished using it.

9. You can tell how old a tree is by the number of circles in the middle of the trunk.

10. Sharing is always good.

11. Coloring nice makes the teacher happy.

12. Always try your best to write good sentences in your journal.

13. No yelling in the lunchroom.

Sweet boy, I hope you have a wonderful time in the first grade!

Learn lots of great stuff and don’t yell in the lunchroom.

And be sure to leave your bow and arrow home too!

Enjoy your Thursday, y’all.

Searching For Stuff

I actually typed this post several weeks ago and filed it away for a rainy day.

Or in this case, for a day when my laptop decided to lay down and die.

Did you hear me?

I said the words. Laptop. Lay down. And die.

In the same sentence.

I am sitting here ready to burst out into uncontrollable sobs at sister-in-law’s desktop hammering out a prelude to this post and somehow  I feel like the mere mention of my laptop woes may somehow bring the thing back to life. 

I’ve done all I know to do.

Which includes unscrewing all of the little hatches on the back of the laptop blowing the dust out and replacing them. (That sentence alone is probably making McDaddy shudder!)

And while I did feel like some sort of techno genius, I’m sad to say. Still no laptop.

So, I wait with eager anticipation for an e-mail from McDaddy that I thankfully WILL be able to access from my iPhone that will surely include instructions about what to do to make it all better. Because that’s what McDaddy does. 

He fixes things.

Until then though, I’ll release this post out into the blogosphere from SIL’s desktop and hope like heck that McDaddy can give me something that will aid in my fixing this thing.  Hey McDaddy! If you’re out there, give me a call.

Pretty please.

————

I am constantly amazed at the things that people type in the search window at Google to land there at front door here at Inmates. It happens to be one of my favorite things about this little blog.

It’s been quite some time since I’ve done one of these posts, but some of these are just too good to pass up. I sometimes laugh out loud (I am not a fan of the LOL thing by the way!) as I read them in my feedjit window.

Let’s start with this one from West Covina, California….

West Covina, California arrived from google.com by searching for neighbor keeps insisting on a playdate after i’ve already said no.

  • Hello West Covnina. Stick to YOUR guns. If the neighbor child is not your first choice of a playmate for your sweet angel, then employ whatever methods necessary to put the smack down on their continual requests.

Baltimore, Maryland arrived from google.com by searching for funeral home dead body what happen.

  • What’s up? Baltimore. A month ago, I could not have answered that question. However. My mortician friend invited me to watch an embalming and I can tell you with certainty that you probably do not want to know. If you are a freak curious person like me, you can check it out right here at Inmates in a post titled What I Learned At The Funeral Home. That should tell you all you need to know.

Kingsland, Georgia arrived from google.com by searching for unleashing your wife’s freak.

  • Kingsland, you are making me blush. I’m not sure why you are attempting you unleash  your wife’s freak, but might I just say, Rock on! I hope that something you read here at Inmates gave you some great ideas for achieving your tasks. (I’m sure my sweet McDaddy is smiling just thinking of the possibilities!)

Navarre, Florida arrived from google.com by searching for FASHION FOR STAY AT HOME MOM AGE 35.

  • Greetings Navarre. I would love to be able to say that you’ve come to the right place for fashion tips. However, I keep it real around here. For that reason, I must warn you that my fashion expertise is limited to Tommy Hilfiger t-shirts and Yoga pants. If that’s what your in the market for, then I’m your gal. If not, then you might want to visit Big Mama’s place. She is a fashion guru and could probably give you some fantastic fashion advice.

Gilbert, Arizona arrived from google.com by searching for paper gown at the gynecologist.

  • Hello Gilbert, Arizona. I am chuckling because I clearly remember the post I wrote about my experience at the gyno. I’m still not real clear about why you’d be searching for the words paper and gown and at the gynecologist, but then again, why do any of us search for what we do when we’re going down Google Ave? (I do KNOW that I use way too many run-on sentences.) Hopefully, you got your questions answered. Please feel free to stop back at anytime.

Brooklyn, New York arrived from google.com by searching for milia self extraction successful.

  • Hi! Brooklyn. What’s up? In the past few weeks, another milia sucker has popped up. I was pretty sure I would attempt to extract the thing myself but the more I’ve thought about it, the more hesitant I am to use a sharp extraction tool on my face. I’m thinking that I should probably just call the dermotologist. However, if you are gung-ho on the self-extraction, here’s the tool you will need. Be sure to stop back by and let me know how that goes for you, would ya?

 

Stony Brook, New York arrived from google.com by searching for what was the word that paula stumbled on in the top 11 2009.

  • Hello my new American Idol friend in Stony Brook, New York. What are you trying to go clog up my friend, Google? We all know that Paula makes up words and stumbles over words. Its one of the reasons I watch AI. If my memory serves me correctly though the word you are referring to is authenticity.

Montclair, New Jersey arrived from google.com by searching for Why do flowers smell like a funeral?

  • Howdy Montclair! Is it just me or do I have more than my fair share of funeral related posts? Flowers often remind me of a funeral home too, and in my humble opinion the funeral home stinks. For that reason, I have left specific instructions for McDaddy to purchase the a solid mahogany casket haul my hind-end out the road to our lovely little church so that I can be displayed in all of my dead glory instead of the stinky funeral home when my time here on earth is done. And no, that is not a lot to ask when you’re speaking of one’s last wishes.

Ayr, South Ayrshire arrived from google.co.uk by searching for acrylic nails breastfeeding.

  • Whoa. South Ayrshire. You got me there. Not sure I’ve ever included those three words together in a post but I guess anything is possible.  I hope your nails look fabulous and that your having a successful run at breastfeeding. It can be a little tough at first, so hang in there. You should know, however, that the girls will NEVER be the same.

Gainesville, Texas arrived from google.com by searching for suddenlink phone service always down.

  • Gainesville, Texas! Welcome to Inmates. Before I get started on this rant little tale, let me go grab a picture to show you.

 

Those happen to be two Suddenlink trucks and that also happens to be my driveway. You can’t tell it from the picture, but this is two of four trucks that paid me a visit one Spring day in an attempt to fix my internet connection.

I spent precious hours of my life that I can NEVER get back dealing with Suddenlink’s internet mess. The Suddenlink man in my area probably spent more time at my house than he did his own, HOWEVER, a sweet VP named Mr. A stumbled across my blog, read about my dramadifficulties and got his Suddenlink peeps on the stick. It took some time but eventually they were able to provide reliable service at the McResidence. I will not agree with them that the service is faster than Verizon because honestly, it seems slower than ever before in the history of our internet service, BUT, it is reliable and dependable. Once McDaddy gets back, I plan to have a meeting of the minds to determine if Suddenlink is indeed the best solution for our internet needs.

—–

See, I told you that would be fun.

Now, I’m off to perform another surgery on my poor, pitiful DELL laptop.

Wish me luck!

Bras and Bats

Welcome to another edition of Things I Learned This Week.

I’m sure Jo-Lynne over at Musings Of A Housewife would be surprised to find out that her blog carnival was a topic of conversation during my night out with the girls. It came up while we were discussing things like bras and bats.

Yes, I said bats.

Lets kick this thing off…..

Things I Learned This Week (in no particular order)

– A paintball will kill a bat. (Odd, but from what I understand, true)

– When purchasing a scrapbook for a year’s worth of completed scrapbook pages, it is a good idea to purchase all refill pages at the same time or else you might find yourself making multiple trips to Michael’s in search of one last pack of pages for the next three months.

– The technicians at Suddenlink will keep at it until all of your internet woes are corrected. Hallelujah. Praise the Lord. And Amen.  (Thanks, Mr. A for all of your help! I’m glad you found my blog!)

– If you find yourself out with the girls on the same day that you lose your sanity for 39 minutes thanks to the raging hormones that are taking over your body and you are in search of a chocolate fix, you should know that purchasing a 6-pack of Reese eggs (to share, of course) at Toys-R-Us will cost you $1.10 more than if you wait until you hit Target.

– After breastfeeding two kids, the girls will never be the same. You will be reminded of that for years to come each and every time you try on a new bra.

– When purchasing monster trucks for easter baskets, it is a safe bet that you will pay more at Toys-R-Us than you will at Target. (Do you see a trend?)

– Being a guest blogger for Happy To Be At Home’s Kitchen of the Week feature actually requires you to spend more time in the kitchen and, you know, cook.

There you have it. Now, wasn’t that fun?

Be sure to visit Musings Of A Housewife for more things that folks have learned this week.

I Will Admit….

I WILL ADMIT……
 
… that it is cold outside and that makes me frown.
 
… that I am hard to please at times.
 
…. that my husband is my best friend.
 
…. it takes me an insane amount of time to iron because I am not good at it. That’s why I just hang everything on a hanger.
 
….. that I eat way too much junk food. And, it shows.
 
…. I like all shades of pink.
 
…. I love buying a new pocket calendar, but, I am very picky about it.
 
…. there are times when I don’t answer the phone depending on who’s calling.
 
….. buying a new purse brings me great joy.
 
…. that I loved being pregnant, but have no desire to experience it again.
 
… that I sometimes wonder if my kids will think I was a good mom.
 
…. I have a touch of OCD.
 
… a lot of things that people couldn’t care less about are major decisions for me. See previous entry.
 
…. it makes me mad when people don’t follow the rules.
 
…. I absolutely hate fever blisters.
 
…. it’s no wonder I’m on blood pressure medication.
 
…. I always thought I would have a daughter.
 
…. I wouldn’t mind adopting a baby girl if I felt the Lord leading me that way. {If she was a good sleeper and could potty train herself :}
 
…. I spend ridiculous amounts of time on the computer.
 
…. Lonestar has the best salad in town.
 
…. that losing my dear friend in a car accident last month has changed my life forever.   
 
… I love my house.
 
… this blog is my personal diary.
 
… being a stay-at-home mom is a sacrifice (of income and career), but, I am blessed to be one.
 
… breastfeeding was something I never thought I would do.
 
… I love my in-laws.
 
…. I wish I was closer to my twin brothers. At times, I feel like an only child.
 
… I secretly dream about the Saturn Sky when I am driving around town in my mini-van.
 
… Grey’s Anatomy has the best writing of any show on TV.
 
…. my husband is the most amazing man on the planet.
 
… there are times when I wonder what people think of me.
 
…. us finding that place has changed our life.
 
…. I love to hear from old friends. (Which is why I spend ridciculous amounts of time on facebook and mySpace.)
 
…. I miss the jail and my co-workers.
 
…. I love the way he looks in that orange shirt and orange hat.
 
…. I love a guy in a do-rag.
 
…. that deloyment sucks!
 
…. I am a blessed girl.

MY 100 THINGS

If you are one of my 8 loyal blog fans, you know that today is an important day here at Inmates. Can you believe this is my 100th post? And what better way to celebrate than to tell you 100 things about me. Because you know, you may want to buy me something sometime.

Here we go!

1. I was born on a Tuesday
2. In December
3. Back in 1973
4. I was the youngest
5. Of three kids that included twin brothers
6. I was a loud child who talked constantly
7. And am still loud to this day according to some  most
8. My favorite year in elementary school was 6th grade and my teacher’s name was Ms. Brick
9. My childhood room was purple with a big canopy bed
10. I met my husband in high school
11. We dated for 4 years
12. We were engaged for 2 years
13. And have been married for 10 years
14. Which means we’ve been together for 16 years
15. If my math is correct, which in unlikely
16. Because I suck at math
17. I rarely use racy words on my blog, but might throw friggin’ and suck around everynowandagain.
18. I probably use way too many commas… what can I say, I like to think before I speak (ahem!)
19. Both McDaddy and I played the saxophone in our high school marching band.
20. We also both play piano
21. I love to travel
22. And have been to 31 states
23. We also took an awesome tour of Europe
24. And have been to Canada, Mexico and the Bahamas
25. We honeymooned in Gatlinburg, Tennessee
26. I was a May Bride
27. And we each had 7 attendants
28. I get bored easily
29. But loved planning my wedding
30. I am a military wife
31. My hubby is currently deployed
32. My hubby is my best friend
33. I have been to the Price Is Right twice but never got to COME ON DOWN!
34. I have touches of ADD and OCD
35. I have hiked the Grand Canyon
36. I am very impatient
37. But am married to the most patient man on the planet.
38. I have very serious opinions about my funeral.
39. Which is proof that I am a control freak.
40. In May, 2008, I started going to the gym 4-5 days per week. I have lost 24 pounds.
41. But would like to lose 26 more.
42. Which is why I had to break off my relationship with Little Debbie.
43. TiVo is the greatest invention of my time.
44. I like fonts.
45. I am not crazy about birds.
46. I am addicted to Facebook and mySpace and check them both several times each day… those darn status things are so interesting.
47. I am the nosiest person I know (which probably explains why I love the status things on facebook and mySpace so much!)
48. I drink way to much Dr. Pepper
49. I love Michael Phelps. In fact, I refer to him often as my boyfriend.
50. I have watched The Young and The Restless for over 20 years.
51. I am a reality TV junkie.
52. I listen to KLOVE all the time. (KLOVE is a Contemporary Christian station)
53. My favorite movie of all time is Dirty Dancing
54. I love Mexican food and always order fajitas.
55. The sight of guacamole makes me gag.
56. The only thing I craved during both pregnancies was water.
57. And now I drink about 4 bottles daily.
58. Both of my babies were born via C-Section and were high risk pregnancies.
59. If I were to hit the lottery today, I would make my way to the Saturn dealership and buy a 2009 Saturn Sky Redline.
60. I eat blue cheese on my salad.
61. I enjoy scrapbooking and have scrapbooked about 84% of my boys’ lives. (I totally pulled the 84% out of the sky.)
62. I don’t like Kathy Griffin
63. Not sure where the random thought about Kathy Griffin came from, but it’s true.
64. I am afraid to drive in inclement weather.
65. I don’t like any kind of berry unless your talking about a strawberry poptart or blueberry muffin.
66. I don’t like vanilla scented candles or vanilla body wash stuff
67. I hate to dust
68. I don’t really like using the word hate unless I’m talking about dust.
69. I desire to be like Christ. However, I fail daily.
70. I have a Psychology Degree
71. I breastfed both of my boys for a year
72. McDaddy and I have lived in 4 homes in 11 years.
73. I would like to save a life one day. If all else fails, I am an organ donor.
74. I should floss more often.
75. I am a big-time klutz
76. I will never use “LOL” –  I think it is silly and unnecessary.
77. So I use these  =)   a lot
78. I have used an iron maybe 3 times in my life and never with much success
79. I have not had an uninterrupted night of sleep in probably three years.
80. I often forget to write transactions in the checkbook.
81. This fact drives McDaddy nuts.
82. I do not like coffee and it always puzzles me when people question my drinking Dr. Pepper or coke for breakfast. It is caffeinated after all.
83. While McDaddy is deployed I plan to strip wallpaper and have carpet installed in our basement.
84. If I spent less time on MySpace and Facebook, I could have it done by now.
85. I can drive a stick shift
86. When I was a senior in high school, I had extensive oral surgery that included breaking my jaws and being wired shut for 6 weeks.
87. On top of that, I had 8 teeth pulled and braces and retainers
88. Needless to say, I have pretty (expensive) teeth
89. I have a sign in my kitchen that says “I kiss better than I cook”
90. And it’s true.
91. But I can make a pretty mean pancake.
92. I don’t like snow
93. But I collect snowmen
94. I have always liked my name
95. I love my inlaws
96. I love the new year because it means I get a brand new calendar to fill in
97. I have had acrylic nails for 13 years but I hate getting them filled
98. I have perfect vision after lasek surgery in August, 2007.
99. I sell and collect Longaberger baskets.
100. And, I love getting a new purse.
101. Which is why I’m having a Longaberger purse give-away today!

longaberger-purse

To enter, simply leave a comment on this post telling me one random fact about you. A winner will be chosen by the accounting firm of random.org on Monday, February 9th at noon. The contest is only open to US Residents. (Sorry to my international loyal blog fans.)

EDITED TO INCLUDE THE WINNER

The Winner of the Longaberger purse is…..

 

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

10

Timestamp: 2009-02-09 20:09:53 UTC

 

 And the #10 Commenter is Darcie @ Such The Spot. 

Congrats! Darcie. Send me your mailing address and I’ll send some Longaberger Lovin’ your way.

Thursday Thirteen – “B”ecause it’s easy!

It seems that January, 2009 is shaping up to be the worst month of my life.

With that said, I am trying to be optimistic about the future and our life after we get this deployment behind us.

While I think that a post about 13 things that tick me off might be a great stress reliever, I’m not sure my loyal blog fans (all 8 of you) are in the mood for that today.

I must admit though, it is tempting.

I guess I’ll just continue down the alphabet.

So, here’s 13 random “B” things.

1. Break – Yes, I could use one. Thanks for asking.

2. BIBLE - A book that I don’t read nearly enough of. It is filled with promises. My favorite places to read are Psalm and Ephesians.

3. Burgers – I am fixing hamburgers for McDaddy and 2 of his jeep friends who are coming over to work on a heap (ahem! I mean jeep) in our garage this evening.

4. Bronze – I’m kind of like Micheal Phelps… I prefer gold!

5. Busy – Definately true this week. I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water trying to keep up with the demands of the life of a princess.

6. Billionaire – Never been one, but I’d love to give it a shot. I think I’d be a very generous one.

7. Bracelet – I usually wear one at all times.

8. Beach – I’m not a big fan of swimming at the beach, but I love the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.

9. Blue - When we lived in KY, I worked for a plant that manufactured blue dye (the color blue). It was interesting and after weeks of working there, I would sneeze blue snot. Gross, but true.

10. Baton – I used to twirl one and still get it out from time to time to impress scare McDaddy.

11. Blessed – Even though I complain and whine, I am blessed beyond measure.

12. Breastfeeding - I nursed both of my boys for a little more than a year. It wasn’t easy at first, but it was much easier than bottles and most definately cheaper.

13. Brother – I have 2 of them. They are twins. I love them and would love to see them more often.

There you go!

Happy Thursday ya’ll.

The Split Second

I tripped over a blog post today that began Dear Mother.

Interesting.

As I read the post, I discovered that the letter was written as part of a Christmas Project a husband (Mr. Anonymous) was creating for his wife. The Mother Letter Project is a gift written by mothers that Mr. Anonymous will present to his wife as a Christmas gift this year. I won’t go into details about how or why the project came about, but I invite you to visit the link to learn more about it.

As a participant, mothers are asked to write a letter to a mother, from a mother. The letter is to begin Dear Mother and should be signed by the writer. Oh, and if you submit your letter before Christmas, you too, will receive a copy of the letters.

The following letter is my contribution to Mr. Anonymous’ project.

Dear Mother:

This motherhood thing sure is tricky.

After spending nine long months preparing, reading and praying for the child that is growing inside of you, everything that you read will be considered null and void the first time your sweet little angel poops in an explosive manner splattering the pack-n-play, his third onesie and anything else within a two-mile radius.

And while we’re on the subject of gross, lets not forget the whole breastfeeding thing you are attempting. In breastfeeding class, the lactation guru said it would be natural and glorious and that harps would sound as you provided nourishment for your baby the way no one else can.

She forgot to mention that it might take three long, gut wrenching, disastrous, painful, nerve wracking weeks.

If that’s not enough, just hold on until the first fever hits. You will be certain this is the end of the world as you know it and that your child’s Pediatrician had better have a dandy excuse for waiting twenty-six minutes to return your call.

As you and your bundle-o-joy become better acquainted and you begin to get more than four hours of sleep per night, it gets a little easier and more enjoyable. Before you know it, you will be the resident expert on motherhood and find yourself dosing out advice to other mothers in areas such as the uselessness of generic diapers, the wonder that is Mylicon drops, why it’s okay to give your toothless child cheerios, and, maybe even the history of The Wiggles.

Please do not misunderstand me.

I absolutely love every part of motherhood. It was and remains an awesome learning experience for me. The books, while admittedly helpful did not begin to scratch the surface regarding the trials and tribulations of the daily grind called motherhood.

Motherhood changed me, made me, rearranged me, became me and tamed me.

This change took place in the matter of a split-second.

The split-second between pregnancy and birth.

Once you become a mother the sun shines brighter, the rain smells sweeter, the grass is greener, the flowers smell better and the wind sings a little song as it blows.

It is an honor and a privilege to be a mother. It is an honor I take very seriously. I want to be the best mother I can possibly be because there are no second chances. I want my boys to look back on their childhood and know without a shadow of a doubt that for all of my faults and failures, they were loved unconditionally and with every fiber of my being.

To the world, you are but one person. But to one person, you are the world.

I get it now.

I really get it now.

Love, Julie