Just Like Castrating A Calf

I hit the ground running, early this morning and am JUST NOW at this very moment getting to sit down and relax. (And if you know me, you know that by early, I meant before 10 AM.)

There are four laundry baskets overflowing with clean clothes at my feet, but instead of folding them, I decided to write a blog post. Does anyone really care if our “draws” are wrinkled?

Earlier, I mentioned to McDaddy that my sister-in-law and I tried to watch the Wild Wonderful Whites of West Virginia on Netflix this weekend, but for some reason the TiVo is no longer on speaking terms with our internet connection, and in the world of people who know anything about technology, basically, that means that Houston, we have a problem.

All I know is, that in three short days my TiVo will no longer be recording the shows I have on my daily docket unless McDaddy can work some magic over there in that corner.

I am sitting here on the big, blue, bloggy couch freezing, but I don’t dare say one word about it to McDaddy because yesterday morning I woke up to a 77 degree house (SEVENTY SEVEN, AS IN ALMOST EIGHTY!) and I frantically texted McDaddy to ask if there was something wrong with the thermostat. Much to my dismay, he texted me back and said something about it not being hot enough outside for the air to kick on, but the humidity outside was making it [miserably] hot inside, and all I heard was blah, blah, blah, because I was busy wiping sweat beads from my brow and holy hallelujah, why can’t we just TURN THE FRIGGER DOWN?

Oh, and I forgot to mention I also had a huge, honkin’ zit on my left eyebrow that ached every time I wiped the sweat.

What am I? Fourteen, again?

Between the huge, honkin’ zit and my crazy fit, it’s probably pretty obvious that the tenth of each month should be declared a national day of disaster around here.

And maybe the eleventh, too.

At any rate, I’d rather sit here with my teeth chattering, than reach for a blanket.

With the exception of a death in my family, I had an awesome weekend.

And now McDaddy has busted out the iPad in an attempt to figure out how to re-acquaint the TiVo and the Router.

A few weeks ago, McDaddy mentioned something to me about rock-climbing. He had heard from one of his brothers that there was a really cool place a few hours away, and after a little research, thought he’d ask his dad and brother if they were interested in going. Next thing I knew McDaddy had confirmed that both brothers, his dad, his sister, and our friend Brian were all going on the rock-climbing excursion.

My reply was, make sure your life insurance is paid up and ROCK ON dude!

Pun intended.

In the meantime, my sister-in-law Michelle and I concocted a plan for her and her four kids to stay at our house while the fellas went to climb some rocks. Stevie had his last ball game of the season on Saturday and Alex had all-star practice on Friday night, but we live literally two minutes from the baseball field and so I was pretty sure them staying with us – even on this busy weekend – would work out just fine.

So, on Friday, Michelle and her van full of kids pulled into my driveway and we had as much fun as two moms with six kids could have. Before becoming a Stay-At-Home-Mom, she was a Physician’s Assistant for a cardiologist here in town. She has four kids, but LOOKS LIKE she’s fifteen years old. She dresses like she just stepped out of Vogue. In fact, my nick-name for her is June Cleaver. She is beautiful on the inside and out.

See, I told you.

June Cleaver.

Remember I said she has FOUR kids.

And she never raises her voice.

When we made a quick trip to Home Goods, she wore this cute little yellow skirt with a fashionable top that I wouldn’t even know to wear together. I had on my black Yoga pants (which have never seen the first yoga class, mind you!) my baseball mom sweat shirt and wore flip-flops because I have an ingrown toe-nail that hurts like you know what when I cram this foot into a tennis shoe.

Michelle is hot.

I am a hot mess.

Anyway, so June Cleaver and I went to the Home Goods. She herded all four kids in and out with ease and patience and never raised her voice not one time – and I don’t think I even heard her ever say STOP, QUIT or DO YOU WANT ME TO BUST YOU?

On top of that, she did minor surgery while she was here. Right in my darn dining room.

I’ve had two skin-tags for a number of months right on my waist line.

Sheesh. Who admits that on their blog?

Unfortunately, she left her Doctor bag at home, but when I mentioned I had two skin tags and asked if she could take them off, she was all, I’ll need something sharp, some alcohol, and some gauze.

Next thing I knew, McDaddy emerged from the basement steps yielding a crazy-shaped razor blade and Michelle began wiping it down with alcohol. I pulled down my waist band, exposed my midsection, and before I knew what was happening, June Cleaver in her hot little yellow skirt was sawing away at my skin-tag. I say “sawing” because McDaddy’s razor turned out to be not the sharpest razor in the medicine cabinet or wherever he dug it out of. It hurt like crazy, but seeing as how Michelle was saving me a couple hundred bucks, I couldn’t complain.

Yes, that might be a first.

A few months back, my friend, Cindy suggested I tie a piece of dental floss or thread around the skin-tag and leave it for a couple of days. Eventually, she continued, the blood flow would be cut off and the skin-tag would fall off. She said it would be “just like castrating a calf” but at that very minute, two measly skin-tags didn’t seem like such a big deal after all.

Oh, and its worth mentioning that Michelle rolled her eyes when I mentioned that I visit Diagnose Me Dot Com on a regular basis.

Early Saturday morning, McDaddy’s parents came out and brought three of our nieces. The kids had a great time running and laughing and playing while the adults sat around waiting for pictures of our husbands / kids to magically appear on our iPhones via text to confirm that they were still alive.

I wish I was kidding. But these were some HUGE rocks, y’all.

It’s all fun and games until the kids are all hovered around the hamster cage asking “Why is Apollo on his side?”

When I went over to check it out, I knew exactly why Apollo was on his side.

Apollo had checked out and moved up to his DE-LUXE apartment cage in the sky.

And so I had to act all casual and pretend that he was just resting comfortably until I could get my kids into the bathroom to break the news that Apollo was gone.

A few months back, one of the hamsters began bullying the other one. I did some research on HamstersGoneWild.com and discovered they would have to be split up. So, for the last few months, I’ve been cleaning TWO cages.

I’m embarrassed to say that one of my first reactions to Apollo’s passing was that I was back to cleaning only one cage.

Sad, I know. But that big cage is a pain in the rear, and to be fair, I only signed up to clean one cage.

And I know that at least three of you just went to Google to visit Hamsters Gone Wild Dot Com.

I made the decision to leave Apollo in his cage because it seemed better than the alternative.

Michelle and the kids left after Stevie’s game, but before Alex had All-Star practice. We were at the baseball field until well after 8 PM. We ran through McDonald’s and came home to eat before taking care of business. As the four of us sat around the dining room table, we talked about how much we’d miss Apollo. That’s also when McDaddy mentioned that he had removed Apollo from his cage and placed him in a Ziploc bag and placed him out on the deck until he could dig a hole. When Stevie asked if we were going to put Apollo in a box, I mentioned that we didn’t have a small box appropriate for a proper burial. Stevie – a problem solver at heart – immediately held up his Quarter Pounder box and suggested that is was the perfect size for Apollo.

And so Apollo McHamster will always be remembered as the hamster we buried in the Quarter Pounder box.

Which is crazy, because he was a dwarf hamster and that’s just about what he weighed.

American Idol – Final 2

So, here we are in this last night of competition.

I was shocked that Angie Miller went home last week. Not necessarily because Kree isn’t an awesome performer, I just thought Angie’s versatility behind the piano would put her a tad bit ahead of Kree.

But lo, I was wrong.

It’s happened a time or ten.

Tonight, we’ll hear the contestants sing three different songs. The first, chosen by Simon Fuller. The next, the first single the contestants will release if they win. And a third song, their favorite from the season.

ROUND 1

Kree Harrison – (Angel by Sarah McLachlan) – Kree is singing well, but I can think of so many other songs that would have been a better choice for her. WHY, oh why are we singing such a s-l-0-w depressing song? Simon Fuller didn’t do Kree any favors by choosing this song.

Candice Glover - (Chasing Pavements - by Adele) – First of all, it’s hard to beat a good Adele song. But Chasing Pavement, really? Why not, “Someone Like You” or even better, “One and Only“. I think Candice woulda knocked either one of those out-the-park with her big pipes. She is singing this one well, it just isn’t giving her much of an opportunity to shine. Simon didn’t really do Candice any favors, either.

Wait. WHAT?

The Dawg is leaving Idol next year?

Y’all.

I just did what I do when I NEED TO KNOW RIGHT NOW.

I went to Google. Sadly, I confirmed that Randy Jackson will not return next year.

Dang. Idol needs The Dawg.

BUT.

WAIT.

THERE’S.

MORE.

Nicki Friggin’ Minaj IS OUT TOO!

Sweeter words have never been typed.

Ok, back to business.

ROUND 2

Kree Harrison – (All Cried Out) – This song has the makings of a great country song. It’s country, it’s slow, and it involves a breakup. In certain spots, it sounds like Kree is straining to hit the high notes. Maybe it’s me. Or her nerves. Or my ears. But I’ve heard it more than once. Not Kree’s best performance, in my humble opinion.

Candice Glover – (I Am Beautiful) – Y’all. Now that right there? Do you see what Candice just did? SHE SHINED! That song was a great fit for her and her voice. A great vocal. You could almost feel it way down deep in her soul.

ROUND 3

Kree Harrison – (Up To The Mountain) – Kree turned it up a notch this time around. Her best performance of the night BY A MILE. Probably had something to do with the fact that she picked this one herself, but still! She made a great choice. And she sang it very well!

Candice Glover – (I Who Have Nothing) – If the winner was chosen based on tonight’s performances, Candice woulda just won this thing. She was singing’ like she meant it. It was her best performance this season and in my opinion, she just sealed the deal. I’m gonna go ahead and call it right now.

WINNER: Candice

RUNNER UP: Kree

Am I right?

American Idol – Top 3

THIS! Is American Idol.

The Grand finale takes place in one week and the race is tighter than its ever been.

Three ladies.

Three different styles.

Three different voices.

This week, the contestants will perform three songs that they did not choose for themselves. First round will be Jimmy Iovine’s pick. Second round will be chosen by the Judges, and the third round will be chosen by American Idol’s production team – whoever they are.

ROUND 1

Kree Harrison –  Perfect by Pink: Kree is doing a good job on this song, but I think it lacks any sort of POW!!! that she will need to make it into the next round. It was just so-so if you ask me.

OH MY WORD, please SHUT Nikki Friggin’ Minaj UP. She is yammering on about flat boots. THIS IS A SINGING COMPETITION, not America’s next top model.

Candice Glover – One by U2 – I’m not sure what Jimmy Iovine was thinking when he made these song choices, but I will say that Candice’s performance had a lot more excitement than Kree’s did. She sang it well, but I was really hoping for some Adele from Candice. I think she could knock Adele out-the-park.

Angie Miller – Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word by Elton John – As always, Angie is singing like a songbird. Still, I’m not necessarily blown away by the performance.

These home visits always make me cry.

ROUND 2

Candice Glover – Next To Me by Emile Sande – I don’t have a point of reference for this song because I’ve never heard of it or even the singer. Still, I think this song suits Candice much better than the first.

Angie MillerTry by Pink – Maybe I’m just not in the mood tonight, but I have yet to be wowed by any of these performances. Still, I think Angie and Candice will be battling it out in the finale.

Kree Harrison – Here Comes Goodbye by Rascal Flatts – Well, I’ll say it one more time… Good vocal. Not a lot of WOW.

ROUND 3

Angie Miller - Maybe by Emile Sande – Angie made a good choice by being behind the piano, because it sets her apart from the other two.

Kree Harrison – Better Dig Two by The Band PerryUgh. I think I’m over this. If you ask me tomorrow which one of these performances stood out, I would say NONE OF EM.

Candice Glover – Somewhere by Barbara Streisand – Ok. So I lied. If you ask me tomorrow which one of these performances stood out, I will tell you IT WAS THIS ONE. Thank you Candice Glover, for WOWING us. Finally. That performance was phenomenal. She just sung her way into the final.

Best of the Night: Candice Glover

Going Home: Kree Harrison

What did YOU think?

American Idol – Final Four [Take Two]

Welcome to a live Wednesday night edition of American Idol. Only it’s not really a live edition because I’ve been on the phone with McDaddy for the past hour and forgot it was American Idol night until just minutes ago.

So… this is really a DVR’d Wednesday edition of American Idol here on my blog. I can assure you it will still be all kinds of awesome.

T0night, the contestants will sing songs from 2013 and standards… whatever that is.

Oh snap, Harry Connick, Jr. is mentoring tonight. Why those Jokers didn’t choose Harry Connick, Jr. when they were looking for a judge instead of Nikki Friggin’ Minaj is beyond me.

Angie MillerDiamonds (Rhianna) –  I know I sound like a broken record because I say this every week…. I know I’m getting old, because I have never heard most of these songs. Still, Angie is at the piano, and this song sounds like it was written for her voice. Her and that topless grand get along ever so well. I will be shocked if Angie isn’t standing on the stage at the finale.

Hey Nikki, YOU ARE NOT BRITISH – STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!!!!!

Randy needs to tell the two divas to keep it classy. Come on Mariah, don’t stoop to her level.

Amber Holcomb – Just Give Me A Reason (Pink) – There are parts of this song, to me at least, that Amber seems to be straining. And several times throughout the song she seemed as though she was out of breath. This performance was just okay for me.

Dang, Nikki needs a Midol.

Candice Glover – When I Was Your Man (Bruno Mars) – Not sure how this will turn out, since Bruno Mars is a man, and Candice is not. I do KNOW this song though, so there’s that. Y’all. I think Candice is tearing this song up. My favorite of the night so far. I’m thankful she didn’t go home last week. GOOD JOB, GIRLFRIEND. Very nice.

Kree Harrison - See You Again (Carrie Underwood) – Well, Kree is keeping it simple – on a stool – and belting it out. Sounds absolutely wonderful to me.

Angie Miller – Someone To Watch Over Me (Frank Sinatra) – Angie is singing this ballad like a songbird. I think she just sealed her fate. She’ll be back next week.

Mariah and Nikki need to, wait, never mind. Not even worth the effort to type the sentence.

Amber Holcomb – My Funny Valentine (Ella Fitzgerald) – Amber is doing a great job on this song. I never feel like she is as great as Angie or Candice, but she’s singing this one really well. Still not sure if this will be enough to keep her around for another week though.

Candice Glover – You’ve Changed (Billie Holiday) – It’s over for one of these gals, but I don’t think it will be Candice. She is killing this song. And I’ll say it again, Candice. Finale. Night.

Kree Harrison - Stormy Weather (Etta James) – This song is d-r-a-g-g-I-n-g along. She’s singing it like a champ, I just wished the champ worked a little faster. Everyone has an opinion. And that’s mine.

BEST OF THE NIGHT: Candice Glover

GOING HOME: Amber Holcomb

What say you?

American Idol Recap – Final Four

THIS! Is your final four America!

Tonight, the contestants will sing two songs each. One song chosen by the contestants and another – chosen from a theme picked by America – ONE HIT WONDERS (which now that I’ve heard their choices, I have to WONDER, how were any of these songs HITS and why did these gals feel compelled to sing them?)

I can think of so many songs that would have made this night so much more interesting.

  • Rapper’s Delight – Sugar Hill Gang
  • Keep Your Hand’s To Yourself – Georgia Satellites
  • (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life – Bill Medley
  • Casanova – Levert
  • Honestly – Stryper
  • It Takes Two – Rob Bass and DJ E-Z Rock
  • Knockin’ Boots – Candyman
  • A Whole New World (Aladdin’s Theme) – Regina Belle
  • Baby I Love Your Way – Big Mountain
  • Nobody Knows – The Tony Rich Project
  • When I Said I Do – Clint Black

See there? Lots of great options.

And before we get into my commentary about the actual singing competition, I have something to say. Rumors are swirling today about the possibility of American Idol execs looking to replace Mariah Carey, reportedly due to “dwindling ratings”.

IDOL EXECS, if one of you happens across my blog today, I have a message for you. Listen very carefully and trust me when I say this, because I’ve spent many an hour watching Idol. I’ve stuck with you jokers through thick Simon Cowell and thin Ellen DeGeneres, so my opinion should count for something.

Mariah isn’t the problem.

The problem is that Nicki Friggin’ Minaj.

I guarantee ratings would soar if you gave her the boot.

[End rant]

Amber HolcombThe Power of Love (Celine Dion) First of all, the solid white pant suit thing looks wonderful on her. Secondly, Oh shoot, the back of that thing is black. Very nice. But seriously though, she is singing like a songbird. I haven’t paid much attention to Amber up till now, but tonight? I won’t be forgetting this performance. This one performance just might be enough to put her in the finals.

Candice Glover - Find Your Love (Drake) – HOLY MACANOLI BATMAN, those are some B-I-G earrings. I don’t know this song. And if I’m being honest, I’ve never even heard of Drake. I suppose that’s because I’m old and out of touch. Have I mentioned those earrings are HUGE? Candice is doing what she always does. She is singing the heck out of this song. I don’t think she’s making quite the impression that Amber did, but maybe she’ll do that with her next performance. I like the earrings, but I don’t think I could pull them off.

Kree Harrison - Hurts So Bad (Susan Tedeschi) – I’m probably showing my age here, but I don’t know this song, either. But the difference in this song that I don’t know and the Candice’s song that I don’t know? I would totally purchase Kree’s song on iTunes and blast it while driving topless in the SKY. That bluesy song makes me smile. It showcases her voice and I think it was a smart choice. Love it!

Nicki Minaj is being her usual punk self tonight.

Angie Miller - Who You Are (Jessie J) – Ok. Maybe instead of telling you how many of these songs I don’t know, I should just tell you when I hear one that I’m familiar with. Angie is at the piano (a beautiful white one!) and that could only mean one thing. This is going to be good. I would venture to say the judges will be impressed. As always, she is kicking it up a notch. If you ask me she is heads and shoulders ahead of the rest of these gals. What she’s doing there at that piano tonight? A gift. Pure and simple and wonderful.

Kree & Amber – Rumour Has It  (Adele) – Love, love, love Adele, but somehow I’ve missed this song. I think these two are killin’ it. And by killin’ it, I mean WAY TO GO GIRLS!

Candice & Angie - Stay (Rihanna) – These gals sound great together. They also seem very comfortable together – as if they’ve been singing together for years. They are both so seasoned.

Amber Holcomb – MacArthur’s Park (Richard Harris) – Was this song really a hit? I don’t know MacArthur, nor have I ever been to his park. I think when she listens to this performance, Amber is going to be VERY HAPPY that she sang The Power of Love, because this is NOT SO GREAT. I feel like she had to strain to get to some of the higher notes and I wasn’t impressed with this song at all. She could have killed ‘A Whole New World’.

Candice Glover - Emotion (Samantha Sang) – She’s singing well, but honestly, I’m not at all impressed with this song. Ol girl shoulda sang (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life. *sigh*

Kree Harrison - Whiter Shade of Pale (Procol Harem) – And Kree does it again, folks. She sings a song that makes me think, “Yup, I’d buy that.” I think Kree has had two great performances tonight. Loved this choice and thought her first performance was even better.

Angie Miller (Is she going by Angie now?) - Cry Me A River (Julie London) – OH MY HECK. Angie is on fire tonight. That song just sealed it for me. THIS was HER night. That BIG voice + A BIG ballad = A BIG FREAKIN’ performance. Plus, she is beautiful.

Best of the Night: Angie Miller

Worst of the Night: Amber Holcomb

Headed Home: I’d have to say Amber. I don’t think she’s quite the performer that the other three are.

 

American Idol – Top 5

THIS!

Is American Idol.

It dawned on me yesterday that I haven’t done one American Idol recap this season, and that is unfortunate because I hate to pass up an opportunity to share my two cents. On anything.

Tonight, the girls will perform two songs. One from the year of their birth and another of their choice from an iconic female in the music industry.

Candice Glover – Straight Up (Paula Abdul) Candice was born in 1989. Are you friggin’ kidding me? First of all, I love Straight Up. It reminds me of the countless nights I spent at Skateland shooting the duck. (Those days are long gone in case you were wondering. I would fall over and kill the duck if I tried that today!) Even though Candice put a jazzy spin on the song, I really like it. And of course, she is singing the heck out of it.

Janelle Arthur - When I Call Your Name (Vince Gill) – Another 1989 kid. Holy crap y’all, I’m old. In unrelated news, Janelle was born on December 12th which is also Stevie’s birthday. When I heard the song title, I didn’t think I knew this song. But I do know it. I just don’t like it. I didn’t like Vince Gill’s version, and I like Janelle’s version even less. In fact, it almost put me right to sleep. Zzzzzzz. Wake me up when it’s over.

Kree Harrison - She Talks To Angels (Black Crows) – Should be a good song for her. Why yes, yes it is. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Kree sing a bad song. She is so talented. She holds back when necessary and she lets it rip when it’s appropriate. She is a seasoned performer who always looks totally relaxed and comfortable on stage.

Angie Miller I’ll Stand By You (Pretenders) 1994? Really? Dang, I was in college. These girls are babies. Anytime Angie sits at that piano, you can bet the farm that whatever she sings is going to be good. Her and that piano have a time together. I love the piano. I think a grand piano is a beautiful instrument with a beautiful sound. And this gal can make that thing sing. Great song choice. Great performance. As always. My favorite so far.

Amber Holcomb  Without You (Mariah Carey) – Ok. First of all, I love every single one of Mariah’s songs from the 90’s. I had every one of her CDs. (For those of you YOUNG GUNS visiting today, CD is short for compact disc, which is what we had to purchase if we wanted access to our favorite songs back in the “old days”) Oh, and I love Amber’s colorful dress. Girlfriend is tearing this song up. It is a great song choice to showcase her big range, and I think Mariah will LOVE it!

Candice Glover - When You Believe (Mariah Carey) – Not a whole lot to say about this. It’s hard to beat a big ballad with a full choir and string section. SHE NAILED IT! And I think the big reason, is because SHE BELIEVES in herself. As well she should.

Janelle Arthur – Dumb Blonde (Dolly Parton) – I’ve never heard this song. And I’m not real impressed with Janelle’s performance. After Angie’s performance at the piano and Candice belting out a big soulful ballad, this performance doesn’t do a lot for me. This particular song sounds exactly like any of the last five country songs she’s performed. Blah, blah, and BLAH. Come on Janelle, change it up a bit.

Kree Harrison - Have You Ever Been In Love (Celine Dion) – Kree is two for two so far. Beautiful version of a beautiful song. B-U-T-FUL.

Angie Miller – Halo (Beyoncé) – I was hoping ol girl would sing “Love On Top”. This performance is kinda boring if I’m being honest. It doesn’t do much to showcase her range or talent. (The judges are falling all over themselves, so maybe there was something lost in translation between her performance and my television.) Even still, I believe it’ll be Angie and Candice (Or Kree) battling it out in the finale.

Amber Holcomb - What Are You Doing The Rest Of Your Life (Barbara Streisand ) – I don’t know this song, and I think that makes a difference because it’s hard to have a point of reference. As Amber always does, she sang this song beautifully. Plus, she is just standing there singing like she’s been singing professionally her whole life. I didn’t know the song, but I know she sang it well.

BEST OF THE NIGHT: Candice Glover

WORST OF THE NIGHT: Janelle Arthur

What say you, Dawg?

Thursday Thirteen – Dancing With The Stars

As I watched Dancing With The Stars last night, I tried to think about who I’d like to see on the next season of DWTS. If by chance, the producers of DWTS happen by my blog today, maybe they’ll take my advice and book a few of these folks.

Here are my picks for the next season of Dancing With The Stars.

1. Shemar Moore – No real surprise here, he’s hot and well, he’s hot.

2. Jennifer Garner – She’s a local gal who grew up about ten miles from me in Charleston, WV. It’s great to see a local girl make a name for herself. Plus, she’s a trained dancer, so yeah, sign her up.

3. Michael Phelps – Y’all know how I love the Olympics. His determination and work ethic would be a great match for DWTS.

4. Chelsea Clinton – For those of you who are about my age, we remember the frizzy haired, braced face of Chelsea Clinton and pretty much watched her grow up in the white house. Wouldn’t it be fun to cheer her on?

5. Mark Zuckerberg – I mean it’s not like this cat changed the world or anything (or did he?) but I think it would be fun to know him just a little better. DWTS is just the place for that to happen.

6. Oprah Winfrey – Well, she’s done everything else imaginable, why not do DWTS? 

7. Tina Fey – I think you’ll agree, she’d definitely shake things up a bit over there. She would for sure be a crowd favorite.

8. Jim Carrey – Oh my word, Jim Carrey and Tina Fey in the same season. Talk about some really good entertainment.

9. Jackie Chan – Because not every DWTS contestant can be in their thirties. And plus, can you imagine Jackie alongside Tina and Jim?

10. Betty White – I’m not sure how well Betty would hold up on DWTS, but I know if any 90-year-old could give it a good whirl, she sure enough would.

11. Tim Tebow – What is a season of DWTS without an NFL great? And I think he’d be a great!

12. Abby Lee Miller – This broad loves to give those young dancers on Dance Moms down the road. I would love to see how well she’d do on the dance floor.

13. McDaddy’s Wife – Rounding out this season’s case list is your’s truly. This broad would give up a toe to be on DWTS. She’d give up two if she could partner with Maksim Chremkovskiy. So Maks, if you’re reading this, here I am.

Who would you add to this list?

Better yet, which one of these picks would take home the mirror ball trophy?

(Photo sources credited in numerals.) 

American Idol Final 2

Somehow I missed that American Idol would be on tonight.

I was on Facebook when I saw all the Idol hoopla. I switched my TiVo over to my daily docket and sure enough, there it was. Sheesh. McDaddy even asked me earlier in the evening if Idol was on. I was all wrapped up in Dancing With The Stars and quickly dismissed his question, and replied, “No, it’s on tomorrow.”

[Hey McDaddy: It's never a good idea to ask me a question while I'm watching my boyfriend dance, mkay?]

The contestants will sing three songs this evening. I’ll dispense with the commentary and get this show on the road. 

Round 1:  Simon Fuller’s choice.

Jessica: (I Have Nothing – Whitney Houston) – Not a whole lot to say about this performance. Jessica sang well (as she always does), but for me, it is the same ballady performance we’ve seen 417 times this season.

Phillip: (Stand By Me – Ben E King) – I would love to know how the song pickers choose the songs for the contestants, because this song? Genuis. Pure genuis, my friends. Perfect songs choice for him AND  my favorite performance of his this season. I am so happy for Phillip, he is such a great entertainer. He sat on a stool and did his thang. And I am smiling from ear to ear thinking I need to add this song to my iPod.

Round 2: Contestant’s Favorite Song of the Season

Jessica: (The Prayer – Celine Dion) – I felt sure Jess would choose  “I Will Always Love You” and sing the heck out of it. I was in awe of her the night she sang that and I’m thinking that might have made a greater impact than this performance. We’ll see, I suppose. This girl is talented, no doubt about that, but I think she got an unfair shake when they handed her this song.

Phillip: (Movin’ Out – Billy Joel) – Week after week I wonder what kind of spin P Squared will put on the song he has chosen. And each week, he does NOT disappoint. I love this performance and I think he is well on his way to winning this thing.

Round 3: Possible First Single

Jessica: (Change Nothing) – This song is just okay to me. Maybe I’m a little biased toward P Squared, or maybe I’m just bored of the ballads. I can’t help but wonder why Jessica wouldn’t have chosen something that would have showcased more of her range. This seemed forced and strained. She is capable of more, but I’ll take it if it means a win for Phillip.

Phillip: (Home) – OH HECK YEAH. Phillip is KILLIN’ IT. I love the percussion section accompanying him on the stage. LOVE IT. LOVE IT. LOVE IT. Did I mention that I love it? I think he just sealed the deal.

ROUND 1, 2 and 3: PHILLIP BY A MILE

And now, I’m off to vote

American Idol – Top 3

It is 11:00 PM and I just spent the last twenty minutes crying my eyes out. For days (weeks even) I’ve been working on memory books for every single child in Alex’s Kindergarten class. I have spent quite a bit of time volunteering in his classroom, so I know each of the kids personally. It has been so much fun looking over their artwork and deciphering their stories. It’s hard to believe my sweet boy is just five days away from being a first-grader.

Are you ready?

THIS! Is American Idol, and THIS should be a great night of singing. We’ll hear songs chosen by the judges, songs chosen by the contestants and then songs chosen by Jimmy Iovine.

Round 1: Songs chosen by the Judges.

Joshua Ledet (I’d Rather Be Blind – Etta James) Well, it’s no surprise that Joshua is singing the heck out of this song. It sounds strangely familiar to me, but then, why wouldn’t it? Joshua seems to have found his niche singing The Blues. It fits him like a glove and I think Randy made a great choice in choosing this song for him.

Oh, there’s Colton. Dang, I just remembered that he got robbed.

Jessica Sanchez (My All – Mariah Carey) – For starters, this song seems way too low for Jessica. I am not the least bit impressed and I’m wondering why Jennifer wouldn’t have picked Vision of Love to showcase Jessica’s pipes. This song is just blah for me, which is unfortunate because I know that Jessica is capable of so much more.

The judges are falling all over themselves with praise. I don’t agree with any of it.

Really? Am I the only ONE who doesn’t get this performance?

Oh well. Let’s move along little doggies.

Phillip Phillips (Beggin’ – Madcon) – This song is PERFECT for P Squared because he leaves me beggin’ for more each time he sings. I don’t know this song or the group who sings it, but I am enjoying it. To me, that translates to awesome entertainer. Way to go P, round one goes to you!

Round 1: Phillip

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Round 2: Contestant’s Choice

Joshua Ledet (Imagine – John Lennon) – Oh my heck, I absolutely love this performance. I hope with everything in me that I hear Joshua rockin it out on KLOVE someday. His big ol gospel voice thrills my heart. Absolutely beautiful.

Jessica Sanchez (I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing – Aerosmith) – Well, this performance is much better than the first. By miles. Still, I feel like something is missing. It’s missing the wow factor for me.

These hometown visits always make me squall like a big baby.

Phillip Phillips (Disease – Matchbox 20) – If I’m being honest, this song was just alright for me. I liked it. I thought he did a good job on it. It was no different from any of the other songs he’s ever done on the Idol Stage, except that this is THE FINAL THREE YO! Phillip, dude, you need to BRING IT in the next round.

Round 2: Joshua

—–

Joshua Ledet (No More Drama – Mary J. Blige) – Y’ALL. THIS IS THE TUNE from The Young And The Restless. OH MY SWEET MOSES, I love it already. Yo, I’ll still be talking about this performance tomorrow, probably when I’m in the workroom at the school binding memory books. It’s funny to me that I’m hearing the Y&R theme, and the words NO MORE DRAMA together. I’m gonna have to do some researching, but I love, love, love this song. He is ON IT tonight.

I just realized I used all kinds of capital letters up there.

Jessica Sanchez (I’ll Be There – Jackson 5) – This song brings tears to my eyes because it reminds me of McDaddy going to Basic Training. The night before he left, I declared this “our song”. Now granted, it was Mariah Carey’s version of the song that I really remember from 1992 – but still, every time I hear it, I am reminded of the six-weeks he spent in San Antonio, Texas. This is a good song choice for Jessica, and it is easily her best performance of the night which is good because this is the one she’ll want “the voters” to remember. I think Mariah’s version might have been a better fit for her voice, but whatever.

Phillip Phillips (We’ve Got Tonight – Bob Seger) – As I sit here with my eyes close, I can hear a touch of Rod Stewart and I LOVE IT! In fact, this is my favorite performance of P Squared EVER in the history of the season. He held back. He did this thang. And I was lovin’ it. HEY PHILLIP, awesome, awesome, and more awesome. Or just awesome cubed.

Round 3: Phillip (with Joshua right on his heels)

—–

Best Performance of the Night: Phillip

Going Home: Jessica

Totally going out on a limb here. And crossing my fingers that P Squared and J-Dawg are battling it out in the final.

American Idol – Final Four

Ladies and Gentleman, THIS! is American Idol.

I’m pretty excited that we’re down to these four contestants. And if you stop by here each week thinking you’re just reading another post from a nosey girl with an opinion on this show, I’d like to remind you that I called it last week when I made my prediction about who’d be going home. In case you’ve forgotten, this is what I said:

Best Of The Night: Tie between Joshua and Hollie

Yes, I said Hollie.

Going Home: SKYLAR. SKYLAR. SKYLAR. SKYLAR

In fact, I said it FOUR! times.

See there? I am so much more than just a pretty face. 

And speaking of a pretty face, did you hear that my boyfriend Maks got the boot from Dancing With The Stars last night? Oh yes he did. And no, I am not one bit happy about that.

For their first performance, the contestants will do a little California Dreaming, singing songs by artists or bands from the state of California or songs about California. And for the second round, the contestants will be singing songs they wish they had written.

Phillip Phillip (Have You Ever Seen The Rain? / Creedence Clearwater Revival) – What better way to kick this night off than to hear P Squared rock it out to Creedence Clearwater Revival. I’m not sure who’s having more fun, P-Squared, the bell-bottomed gal on the Tenor Sax, or the fedora-topped fella jammin on the organ. This performance is off the hook. I LOVE his voice. In my opinion, this is his best performance. He tells Jennifer he has cotton mouth, which is hard to believe because, HEY DID YOU HEAR THAT PERFORMANCE?  I enjoyed it so much in fact, that I ran it back and watched it again. I am rootin’ hard for Philly.

Oh snapadoodle. Randy is wearing a pink, plaid jacket. What the heck, dawg?

Hollie Cavanaugh (Faithfully / Journey) – I wonder if Hollie has any idea that The Dawg played with Journey back in the day? I’m sure he’ll mention it. I love that Hollie is taking her time with this song. She seems more confident and more seasoned than she did just five or six weeks ago. On an unrelated note, I’ve always wondered if that wind machine distracts the contestants? Sure it adds a bit of flavor and drama to the performance, but I’d love to know what Hollie thinks about it at this very second. While I typed those last two sentences Hollie hit some really BIG notes. Love, love, love this performance, too! Poor thing has been in the bottom three for weeks, but with a performance like this one, I don’t understand how. And just so you know, I ran this one back, too. Very nice.

I knew THE DAWG would mention his time with Journey.

Joshua Ledet (You Raise Me Up / Josh Grobin) – I have a feeling this is going to be BIG. This song is perfect for Josh’s voice. I’m sure somewhere Josh Grobin is smiling. There’s not a lot more to say about these four contestants. They all know their way around that stage and they’re performing like pros. This is a great performance and Joshua is a great singer.

Jessica Sanchez (Steal Away / Etta James) – If I shut my eyes, it’s hard for me to picture Jessica being just 16 years old. She is a seasoned performer and she is tearing this song up. This gal has a great future ahead of her.

Joshua and Phillip (This Love / Maroon 5) – Holy crap, this is awesome! I have no idea who is in charge of picking the musical selections, or the pairings, but this here duet is perfect, and wonderful. Two grand pianos, two great voices. I FREAKIN’ LOVE IT!

Jessica and Hollie (Eternal Flame / Bangles) – I watched this performance and then had to pause the television to change the laundry. When I got back to my computer, I couldn’t even remember what they sang. I think that says it all.

Oh shoot. I thought Ryan was asking Julianne to marry him. If that whole scene wasn’t planned ahead of time, I bet Julie’s gonna kick his tail-end.

Phillip Phillips (Volcano / Damien Rice) – Never heard this song, we’ll see how it goes. Y’all. I am so happy for Phillip. He is in a zone tonight. I think I say this often. This might be his best performance of the season.

Hollie Cavanagh (I Can’t Make You Love Me / Bonnie Raitt) – Hollie looks stunning tonight. I love those square hoop earrings, and I love the black jumpsuit thing she’s wearing. And on top of that, she is giving another great performance. The Judges do not agree with my opinion, but what do they know? 

Joshua Ledet (It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World / James Brown) – I love the live jazz band and I love the dramatic entrance of Joshua descending the stairs. He is in a zone, and I have a feeling he is just getting warmed up. Y’all. Joshua just knocked it OUT THE PARK. He. Did. His. Thang. PERIOD. Best performance of the night so far. (Wonder what all you Joshua haters are saying now?)

Jennifer Sanchez (And I Am Telling You / Jennifer Holliday) – I’d love to know how this little girl can step up on that stage and pull off a performance like this one. Not a lot to say about this performance. Just wow.

Best Performance of the Night: This one is tough, but I’m going with Joshua’s second performance.

Going Home: Probably Hollie

What say you?