Yup, you guessed it.
Another edition hilarious edition of Letters To Crazy People.
Well, because the world is full of ‘em.
And, because those same crazy people are actually raising children, which means – you guessed it! – even more crazy people.
Off we go….
Dear Crazy Parents in the Mexican Restaurant sitting at the table across from us,
Your screaming kid is a nuisance. While I completely understand that from time to time, children decide to have an all-out fit in a restaurant (I should know because I had a kid who was a pro at it!) and it may take a few minutes to get little Johnny calmed down, you should understand that the patrons in the restaurant were there trying to enjoy a quiet, relaxing dinner. When Alex was a toddler, his favorite thing to do was throw a big, hairy fit almost as soon as we were seated at a table. McDaddy and I spent many a dinner holed up in the car with our sweet angel while the rest of the family enjoyed their meal in the restaurant. It took some doing, but eventually, we got him out of the fit throwing in public. If you do not get control of that behavior, you will not be able to take Johnny anywhere by the time he is five or six. Please, on behalf of the 30+ people trying to enjoy a night out and a good meal, take your screaming maniac OUTSIDE next time.
The Patrons at Los Agaves around 6 pm last Monday night
Dear Crazy Parents Raising Kids to be brats,
I could seriously write a 1,483 word letter to this crazy bunch. Where are we as a society, when responsible adults encourage, allow and accept that their kids are bullies and brats? I would suspect there are many of you out there in this category who would never admit they are a card-carrying member of this club. Heck, maybe you don’t even realize you hang out here. Rest assured, that the rest of us know who you are. We also know who your kids are. And we don’t want them around our kids for any amount of time, because, well, to be honest, we don’t want that type of behavior to rub off. What happened to ‘treat others how you want to be treated’ or ‘do unto others’, or ‘if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything’ or ‘ be kind to one another’? Honestly, one of the toughest issues for parents is talking to our kids about being kind to others, even those who are not nice. Because, in reality, it would be easier to tell our kid to punch your kid in the face. Instead, we hold our tongue, encourage our kids to be kind to everyone, and wait for
some bigger brat bully karma to work its magic.
Parents Doing Their Best To Raise Respectful, Kind Children
Dear People Who Use #Hashtags on Facebook,
What started out as something so simple – #love, #vacation, #cats – (thanks, Twitter!) and even fun is now nothing more than #sentenceswithoutspacesyo! a bunch of letters crammed behind a pound sign. I mean, I do understand their purpose on Twitter and I even thought the hashtag was a great idea for those who tweet. But, that was long before the general public decided it was perfectly acceptable to turn #summer into #chillinonthebeachforthenextweek or #fitness into #imdownfivemorepoundsthankstopx90orwhateverthenewestfitnesstrendisthisweek. Seriously, the hashtag gets on my nerve.
In anticipation of your valued non-character response,
The Girl Who Despises Hashtags
Dear Unnamed Son of Mine,
I realize that your iPod going dead is an aggravation. That generally happens when you play it on and off for three days and neglect to charge it. I know it makes me the meanest mother on the planet, but , no, you may not play on my phone. There is a reason it’s called an iPhone and not an UsPhone.
Peace, Love and Pogo Sticks,
What would your letter to a crazy person say today?