If You Were… My iPhone

If you were… my iPhone:

  • You would be thrilled that you get so much love and attention.
  • Your home button would get a daily workout.
  • You would be home to 521 songs on the iPod.
  • Sticky little boy fingers would aggravate you and your beautifully clear screen.
  • You’d play the “Workout Mix” more than any other mix.
  • There would be 263 pictures for you to choose from.
  • You’d wonder why I only began texting in December.
  • You would secretly wish I’d ditch the Words With Friends APP so you could catch a break.
  • The first song on your iPod would be All 4 Love by Color Me Badd (Don’t judge!) and your last song would be Your Eyes Don’t Lie by David Archuleta.
  • My impatience would get on your every last nerve.
  • Half of the APPs on your screen would be unused most of the time.
  • You would need four APPs updated at this very minute.
  • The stinky gym would be your least favorite place because of all the sweat.
  • My two different versions of Angry Birds, Twitter and Facebook would probably make you roll your eyes.
  • “Hold Us Together” by Matt Maher would play everytime someone called your number.
  • You’d suggest that I move the K-Love APP to another screen because of all the accidental taps and openings.
  • The fact that I set your alarm daily because I am old and forgetful would make you giggle.
  • It would gross you out to know that the Period Tracker keeps track of um, well never mind.
  • You would be tickled to death that you get to spend the weekend in North Carolina with three wild and crazy girls!

Have a great weekend, y’all!

With This Ring, I Thee Wed

If you were my wedding ring…..

Wedding Ring 

You’d smile knowing that you are my favorite material possession.

You’d be thinking to yourself… I can’t believe I made THE BLOG.

You would have been sad to be separated from me for 8 days when you had to be sized down due to my recent weight loss efforts.

You would wish that I’d be easier on you so that you wouldn’t have to have your prong fixed again.

You’d wonder why I didn’t clean you more often.

You would know that you are special to me because McDaddy presented you on my wedding day and I have hardly had you off of my hand except for cleaning and repairs.

You would frown when I talked of upgrading (upsizing) the engagement diamond [no real worries… I am really attached to you]

You would grin when people mentioned how much they loved you.

You would stick your tongue out at all of the other rings that must sit in the jewelry box and wait their turn to be worn on my right hand.

You’d hate getting caught on things now that you have new, sharp prongs.

You would know how excited I was the day that McDaddy placed you on my finger.

You would wonder why sometimes your metal and my skin caus a reaction.

You would know that I *triple heart* you very much.

Get Off My Back

If you were Stevie’s Back-pack……

You’d look like this……

 Cars - Backpack - 16 Inch Lightning McQueen Racing Backpack with Lunch Kit



-You’d hang out on Stevie’s coat rack once you arrived home from school.
-You would sit in a cubby in Room 10 at Stevie’s Elementary School during the day.
-You’d be aggravated that the lunchbox bangs against you when Stevie walks with you on his back.
-You’d have a light jacket in you at all times so that Stevie will be prepared for cool, windy weather.
-You would have come home today with a ziplock bag full of items that the kids collected on a nature walk today.
-You would have a ring-side seat as kids had to pull tickets because of their bad behavior in Stevie’s class.
-You’d carry a nutritious snack to school every.single.day for snack time.
-You would have a new library book stuffed inside of you on Mondays.
-You would be inspected by me daily.
-You would be thrilled when the weekend got here cause you could get some much-needed rest.
-You’d have S-T-E-V-I-E-S-L-A-S-T-N-A-M-E written on your strap.

-You would be thankful that you were plucked from the rack at Wal-Mart by a little boy who loves you!

-You would get wiped down every week by the crazy lady that shares a house with you.

-You would chuckle that Stevie puts you on top of his head on rainy days.

-You would carry a pack of gummies everyday in case of a snack emergency.
-You would not be happy when you had to carry a 1/2 eaten banana or 1/2 eaten string cheese back home.
Aren’t you glad you’re not a backpack?

Walking On Air

If you were my favorite shoes… You’d look like this.


You would have been happy to by pulled off of a finish line shelf at the Mall Of America to be adopted by me.

You would have taken just about every step with me as part of the great weight loss effort of 2008 (and now 2009).

You would love being used every single day (except in Winter).

You would smile everytime I sang your praises to someone who asked about you.

You’d get a kick out of the fact that the kids call you my ‘workout shoes’, even though I wear you even when I’m not working out.

You’d love not ever having floppy shoe strings because of your new-fangled strings that can’t come untied.

You’d be sad to see the bad weather rolling in because you are just not equipped to handle snow and rain very well.

You’d be frowning at the new Nike Shox that I got for Christmas simply because you are not conducive to wintry weather even though your name is Nike Hot Shots.

*You’d love it when I showed off the housing unit in lefty that holds the chip that talks to my iPod about miles and calories that is sent to Nike.com.

You’d wish you were a different color than white because you get dirty so easily.

You’d be surprised that I have dedicated a whole blog post to you.

*By the way, here is the way the sensor and the receiver work. It is actually pretty amazing remarkable. The sensor transmits info such as calories burned, miles walked, total time, and best time to your iPod. You can then upload (or is it download) the info to nike.com.

This is the most comfortable shoe you will ever slip your foot into. I love these shoes because they are light and they are comfortable. They are a great weight-loss tool.

And that works for me!!!

Check out other tips that work for you over at We are THAT family.

If You Were My iPod…

If you were my iPod….. 

-Your silver body would miss the red iSkin which cannot be used when I use the receiver for my Nike + tennis shoes.

– You would be amused that you get to come to zumba and work with the chip in my shoe to count our calories and miles while we work out.
-You’d be floppin back and forth as you hung around my neck on the iSkin string that came with the red cover that I bought at the Apple Store at the Mall of America as I did my workout at the Y.
-You’d know just how much I sweat and swipe when I’m doing my cardio workout at the Y.
-You’d see me look down at your screen everytime a new song was coming on, so I could see what song was going to play next.
-You’d have 263 songs  from a vast array of artists. Everything from Color Me Badd, Michael Jackson, George Strait, Leona Lewis, BeBe Winans, One Accord, After 7, Janet Jackson, Third Day, Mariah Carey, Brooks and Dunn, John Michael Montgomery, SWV, Tony Rich Project, Alanis Morrisette, Blackstreet, Kutless, TLC, Sandi Patty, Brandon Heath, Blake Lewis, David Archuleta and Carrie Underwood. (See, I told you it was vast!)
-You’d love sitting atop the player/charger in the living room instead of stuffed inside of the case in my purse.
-You would love being used everyday.
-You’d play fast songs while I was at the Y, because it’s much better to exercise to a fast song than a slow one.

– You would know that the last song I downloaded was “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller.
-You would not like being stuck in my laptop overnight to charge while the rest of us slept the night away.
-You and my water bottle would be great friends because you travel together when we go to the Y.
-You would be amused that sometimes I listen to you while I run the sweeper.
-You’d hear me huff about those tiny little earphones that I have yet to figure out how to properly place in my ears.
-You’d know that I *heart* you and appreciate McDaddy picking out the Nano as opposed to the cute, but screenless Shuffle.
-You’d be hanging out in my laptop charging as I wrote this blog.

-You would smile knowing I have listened to you a lot this week, especially since losing my dear friend, Jon.
-You’d be glad you were associated with such a cool gal as myself. Even when I’m not so cool. And stinky.

Thursday Thirteen – If You Were My Mini-Van….

Eighteen months ago, McDaddy learned that a couple from our lovely little church had decided to sell their Dodge Grand Caravan. One thing you should know about McDaddy is that he is always on the prowl lookout for a sweet vehicle deal that is too good to pass up. That’s actually how we ended up with our last vehicle, my beloved Toyota 4-Runner.

When the guy from our church mentioned that he had decided to sell his van, McDaddy’s ears perked up like a dog’s does when it gets a whiff of a slab of meat.

We went for a test drive and the next thing I knew, the two of them were wheelin’ and dealin’negotiating the transfer date. Now, the super cool Toyota 4-Runner SUV is McDaddy’s Daily Driver (for those of you who have never heard the term “daily driver” that is the affectionate term used for the car that one drives everyday, as opposed to the heap, (ahem!) I mean JEEP that is used for occasional off-roading adventures with the Jeep Club).

I miss my 4-Runner, but if I’m being honest, I love the room that van affords. I also love the heated seats, the automatic doors and hatch, the smooth ride, and the DVD player. Not necessarily in that order.

Today, two of my sisters-in-law and I set out on a shopping extravaganza. We had to take 2 vehicles because there were 3 adults and six children.

The first 12 minutes in Target were glorious.

That’s how long the fruit snacks lasted.

After that, it was total chaos and confusion a little tough keeping up with the kids because none of them were interested in riding in the cart, especially when we hit the toy aisle.

After what seemed like an eternityan hour or so, we headed out of the store. Five out of six of the kids wanted to ride with me. I’d like to think it’s because I’m the coolest aunt around, however, I suspect it had more to do with the fact that the minivan has a DVD player. My van hauled, myself and Alex, my sister-in-law, her two kids and two more kids that belonged to my other sister-in-law. That should total seven people, although if you’ve hung around here for any length of time you know that I am not known for my mad math skillz.

Needless to say my minivan saw it’s share of drama today. (side note: this is not my actual van, but it looks exactly like this one).

Here’s 13 things it might have said today.

1.  “Wal-Mart again?” Seriously, don’t you get enough of that place?”

2.  “Puh-lease… NO! MORE! CARS! MOVIE!”

3.  “Fazoli’s… what happened to Real Italian, Real Fast? We’ve been sittin’ here for 17 minutes”

4.  “Yes, as a matter of fact I do need gas again.”

5.  “Does that cell phone ever shut up?”

6.  {Winking at the Jeep and the 4-Runner} “Na na na na na na…. I get the garageeee”

7.  “Whoa! you just scraped my tailpipe goofball”

8.  “What’s with all the whining? Can’t ya’ll just be quiet and watch the movie”

9.  “I’m cooler than I look!”

10.  “Alex, psst… you better watch it… there’s a spankin’ spoon in here”

11.  “My heated seats make me the bomb – especially on these cold WV mornings”

12.  “My doors are tired!”

13.  “Man, that chic talks ALL! THE! TIME!”

I’ll let you figure out which chic my van may or may not be talking about.

My Time To Shine

I’ve made a very important decision today.

I’ve decided to put all manner of fall stuff away so that I can bring on Christmas.

I realize it may seem as though I’m rushing the season just a tad. That’s because my aunt Jane is coming to WV for Thanksgiving and will be here on Friday night. The next week, McDaddy’s sister, Angie and her family will be here from NH. The week after that, a certain someone and her oldest son have birthdays one day apart.

So, for the sake of argument (Hi McDaddy), lets just say I’m thinking ahead. For once.

As I sit here wasting time explaining my logic, I thought it would be fun to let you know what your life would be like if you were my Christmas tree.


  • You’d spend the majority of your time tucked away in our loft waiting for your time to shine.
  • You’d be thankful to be in a home that really appreciates you and your beautiful branches. (Sounds cheezy. Yes, but its true).
  • You’d secretly wish I’d throw that stupid rotating Christmas tree stand out in the yard so you could just chill.
  • You’d silenty chuckle as you watched McDaddy stand on top of a bar stool teetering on the brink of disaster just to put that friggin’ angel on the highest point of your 9 foot frame. (Did I just use friggin’ and angel in the same sentence?)
  • You’d cringe at the thought of the 3 year old coming toward you at full speed on the Little Tikes motorcycle.
  • You’d wonder why you only get the clear lights and some of your friends get cool, colored lights.
  • You’d enjoy being perched in front of the window where you can be enjoyed by passerbys.
  • You’d be fascinated by the process of fetching you and your big box from the loft.
  • You’d smile when visitors to the McResidence oohhed and aaawwwed over you.
  • You’d see me sitting in the dark every night starring at you.
  • You’d be thrilled to death that today was your day to shine.
  • You’d wonder why there were no pictures on this post to go along with the moving tribute to you and your branches.

Pictures to follow.


Now, let’s get these scarecrows put up….