What I Learned This Week

As I sit here on the big, blue, bloggy couch and type this post, McDaddy is whispering all kinds of nonsense in my ear making me do the crazy laugh.

I wish you could know him personally.

He is nine kinds of fun, all wrapped up in a handsome, patient, sweet package.

But that’s not what I learned this week.

Here’s what I actually learned this week.

1. When your non-piano-playing kid starts playing an actual song on the piano, there’s a pretty good chance his piano-playing cousin taught him.

2. When their non-piano-playing kid starts playing an actual song on the piano, the piano-playing mother AND the piano-playing father will look at each other in amazement.

3. Then the piano-playing mother will decide that her guitar-lesson-taking son should also be learning to play the piano because OHMYWORD I love the sound of the piano so much better than the guitar.

4. When you dread scanning more than 50 pictures for more than two weeks, you will feel like a boss once you finally take the time to get the job done.

5. My pepperoni rolls are best when they first come out of the oven.

6. I like my homemade pepperoni rolls better than any others I’ve tasted.

7.  As of about five minutes ago, both of my non-piano-playing children have agreed to give piano lessons a try in the fall.

8. That makes this piano-playing mama very happy.

9. Pinterest is one of the best websites of my time.

10. A mole is a scary lookin’ creature.

11. The body of a beheaded rattlesnake will still move for at least an hour after it is decapitated.

12. The rattler on a rattlesnake still rattles after its death, simply by shaking it.

That’s what I learned this week.

Now, what did YOU learn?

To join in on the What I Learned This Week carnival, simply follow these steps.

1. Any time this week, publish your What I Learned This Week post on your blog and link to this post.

2. Link up with the Mr. Linky form down below. Please put the link to your POST, not the front page of your blog.

3. Then visit the other participants and see what they learned this week.

Easy enough?

Ready. Set. Go!

My Fillings About The Dentist – Take 2

More than six years ago, I wrote a post titled “my fillings” about the dentist. (And if you happen to take a trip into my archives, please excuse those stupid squares you see strewn about that post. Y’all, the crazy characters are making me crazy to the point that I don’t want to even go back and look at old posts, because I can’t stand to see them.) And before you suggest that I go in and edit the characters to remove them from the post, I can’t do that. I can’t do that because while installing my new blog design, Heather my technical team sent me a text that said, “Working on those characters now. DO NOT go in and edit any posts that have those characters…. just trust me on that one.”

And since I trust her with my bloggy life, I do what she tells me to do regarding matters of the blog.  And then I come here every evening and complain about the characters, because THAT is something I can do.

Do you see how easy I get off track?

Where was I?

Oh, right, the Dentist.

My Dentist recently left the Dental practice he shared with two other Dentists to open his very own office. Today was my first visit to the new office. Since I’ve never been big on change, I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about his fancy new office on the Boulevard.

For starters, this was the view from my dental chair

The previous office was dark and drab and boring.

On top of this spectacular view of the Kanawha River, there was a television at each new massaging dental chair.

Yes, you heard me right.

I said, massaging. dental. chair.

Can I get a HOLLA?

The only thing missing was an ocean breeze, sea-gulls squawking and a fruity drink with a little yellow paper umbrella.

As I sat in that massaging chair, all sprawled out, watching “Let’s Make A Deal” it dawned on me that I could have invented that massaging dental chair because I have remarked to McDaddy on several different occasions that a massage chair would take the dental visit to a whole new level.

Or something like that.

And as is usually the case, I was right.

On top of all that newfound dental fabulosity, I didn’t get the dreaded floss lesson and subsequent place of honor on the “Need To Floss More Wall Of Shame” which is a miracle, because I – unlike McDaddy – do not faithfully floss every single day like I should. But, I am getting better.

The moral of this story is, now that there’s a massage chair, my “fillings” about the Dentist have changed.

Have a great weekend, y’all!

I Spent Five Years In Jail

Eight years ago I walked out of jail for the last time.

I had an infant at home and I looked forward to the challenges and the excitement that lay ahead. Because I was prematurely put on bed rest before having Stevie, I made the decision to go back to work long enough to work out a two week notice. Mostly because that’s how I roll, but also because I needed closure that could only be brought about by a last day. Still I knew a part of me would miss the place. For five years I roamed the halls – walkie-talkie in hand – amongst the crazy people.

The daily unknown.

The clanging of the metal bars as I entered the secured area.

And most of all THE CRAZY.

Have I ever mentioned how CRAZY jail is? The inmates. The employees. All of it. Every single bit of it was crazy. Fights broke out. Grown men cried. Grown women started fights over something as simple as a biscuit. I saw blood. And death. There were shakedowns. And uprisings. There were bets on the gender of my unborn baby (2 packs of ramen noodles said it was a boy!), movies on the weekends, haircuts on Mondays, and commissary one day a week. I saw grown men confined to a stokes basket in the booking department because they were a whole new brand of crazy. Kitchen trustees paused their daily push-ups in the kitchen floor long enough to stir the beans. Mothers called to inquire about the treatment of their angels. Girlfriends showed up to visit, only to find out there was also a wife.

Like I said. Crazy.

As you might imagine, I fit in perfectly there for five years.

Now, um, I’m not so sure. You know, because I am a refined stay-at-home-self-proclaimed-princess.

I haven’t made mention of it yet here on the blog, but last Tuesday? Um, last Tuesday, I was there all over again.

As I approached the counter, I was assigned a number. That number would be my number, and for the remainder of my time there, I would be known simply, by that number.

It was hot and muggy. Rows and rows of people glared at me.

Anxious people were all around me.

All of them waiting.

Waiting to hear their number called signaling their time is done.

All of them thinking there are few places worse than where they are right now. And I would have to say I completely agree with them.

I take a seat and I quickly survey the room.

It is there.

The crazy.

In all of its unfound glory, it is there.

The wringing of hands.

The nervousness.

Even I, myself am jittery.

I hear people pleading.

One man is pleading about paperwork and I shake my head hoping against all hope that it doesn’t come to that for me. The pleading does not stop. It gets on my nerve because I know that I am stuck here. Powerless.

I look up to see a man having his picture taken. He has a scowl on his face and I can surely understand why. This place stinks and these folks couldn’t care less how your picture turns out. They are here to do a job. Period. Each person is but another number.

Each and every individual approaches the door with fear and apprehension because they are trying to come to terms with the fact that short of a miracle, they will most likely be here awhile. Many of them wonder if they’ll make it out alive. They are skeptical.

And they have reason to be.

There are crazy people here.

Crazy people with lots of attitude.

Scores to settle.

I am bored. Bored of being packed in here like a sardine. Bored of the time I am wasting because after all I do not belong here. I am here because they said I had to be.

I am not crazy, yet I am here amongst the crazy.

It is hot.

Did I mention it was hot? So hot, in fact, a bead of sweat dropped from my brow. I quickly wipe it and attempt to stay focused. I keep to myself thinking it might make things easier for me. I do not make eye contact with anyone. I do not want to look crazy in the eye. I have enough crazy at my own place. Plus, you never know when one of these jokers might snap. They arrived here long before I did, so their crazy meters are off the charts. I see all walks of life. Each with a different story. All of them wishing they were somewhere else.

Anywhere but this hot, cramped, crazy place.

I’m the new girl in town. If there is a seat I will get one. If not, I will stand. That’s just the way the pecking order works in a place like this. I focus on the flashing light. I wonder when my time will come. When the light will flash with my number. The number they gave me when I arrived. I have not forgotten the number. I will NOT forget the number. The number is mine and mine only.

Must stay focused.


I need water.

My mouth is parched. My throat is dry. I break out in a sweat. I wonder if I’ll ever get out of this place. I wonder if I’ll still be here at lunch time. I can’t imagine the thought, but in this place anything is possible. I’m at their mercy. The mercy of these people who say I must. be. here. at this time.

I see more hand wringing.

More attitude.

I squirm in my chair and pray that it will be over soon.

I’ve had all the crazy I can handle.

And finally, just before noon, my number is called.

I step to the window, receive my walking papers, and get released from jail the D. M. V. just before lunchtime.

Whew. For a minute I wondered if I’d make it out alive.

Try to keep yourself out of jail AND the D.M.V.

Happy Thursday, y’all!

(Originally posted in 2010, this one was pulled from the archives.)

What I Learned This Week

In case you’re keeping score, the crazy characters are still alive and well here on the blog.

On top of  that, I’ve had a sharp pain in my left side when I breathe in since Saturday night.

Did you get that?

Sharp pain. Left side. When I breathe in. Since Saturday.

Thanks to What’s My Diagnosis Dot Com, I discovered that I either have a collapsed lung, Precordial catch syndrome, Pleurisy, a bruised rib, fibromyalgia, muscle strain, or something a lot worse. It has been giving me fits, hurts worse while/after eating and even worse when I sneeze or hiccup.

As you might imagine, this newest medical issue has my mind racing. If any of you have suffered similar symptoms, I’d sure love to hear about it. And, as always, I will be sure to keep you posted.

Here’s all the other things I learned this week:

1. There is a gymnastics event called senior synchronized trampoline.

2. I suddenly wish I could compete in senior synchronized trampoline.

3. Y’all, this is a BIG one. Dirty Dancing was filmed a mere five hours from my home, in Lake Lure, North Carolina.

4. There is a Dirty Dancing Festival held in Lake Lure every year. The 5th annual DD festival will be held August 15-16, 2014.

This blog offers is so much more than just entertainment.

5. When you have a dream that your purse gets stolen at the mall, you will spend most of the night mourning the loss of your beloved iPhone.

6. An air-conditioned playdate is more appealing than a playground playdate in 90 degree weather with 96% humidity.

7. Legos has a website that offers page-by-page instructions for every Lego set since 1965.

8. After five years, I still maintain that eczema of the inner year is one irritating condition.

9. It’s been two years since we bought her home, but I’ve learned that there are days I still can’t believe she is mine!

That’s what I learned this week.

Now, what did YOU learn?

To join in on the What I Learned This Week carnival, simply follow these steps.

1. Any time this week, publish your What I Learned This Week post on your blog and link to this post.

2. Link up with the Mr. Linky form down below. Please put the link to your POST, not the front page of your blog.

3. Then visit the other participants and see what they learned this week.

Easy enough?

Ready, set, go!

Some Random Stuff

McDaddy and Stevie are two hours away from home at Scout Camp. Alex and I are here at home splitting our time between the ball field and being lazy. We’ve enjoyed lying in bed until 11 AM and eating whatever we choose, whenever we choose. For instance, right now, it’s almost midnight and he’s on the couch watching a Redbox movie and eating Doritos while I am pecking out this post and sipping on a Coca-Cola classic.

As bad as I miss my other two fellas, I’ve enjoyed this week focusing my time and energy on one kid who has clung to me like glue, slept in my bed and told me loves me about 418 times in the past five days. Not to mention, we’ve driven the SKY almost 300 miles this week. HOLLA!

But chances are you didn’t show up at FITP, Inc. to hear about how lazy I’ve been this week. Rather, my loyal readers (all 8 of you!) more than likely showed up here hoping to read about the latest, greatest fashion trends along with my newest kitchen recipe creations. Or something like that, right?

Here are some things that you might find interesting or helpful.

1. For starters, I’m sure you’ve noticed that my blog is wearing a fancy, new party dress. I haven’t mentioned it here yet, because my bloggy designer friend, Heather has been trying to figure out a way to remove the crazy characters (in this latest case, squares!) from past posts and I thought I might wait until after that was done before mentioning my new design, but alas, we are having some difficulty finding a solution. And by we I totally mean her because Lord knows I am WordPress illiterate. If any of you out there in Blogland have any earthly idea how to remove the characters from past posts, please, by all means, let me know immediately in the comments because they are driving me nine kinds of crazy.

A few weeks ago, I saw this pair of flip-flops,

on a gal who was having lunch (with a friend of mine) at a Mexican restaurant. Instead of me doing the totally normal female thing and offering up a compliment about the flip-flops along with a question about where she bought them, I came home, scoured the internet for seemed like hours for the suckers – mostly by searching Google for black- flip- flops-and bling. Do you have any earthly idea how many different pairs of black flip-flops with bling there are available online?

Rest assured, there are A LOT.

My search was pointless. And as is usually the case anytime I see something that I really like, I couldn’t get them off of my mind. After days of unsuccessful shopping online, I texted my friend to ask if she would text her niece to ask where she bought them.

Within minutes, I received the text “She got them at Buckle”.

Which explains why I have never seen them.

The one and only time I ever stepped foot in Buckle was when my sweet, hip, sister-in-law went in there to shop for jeans that were priced so high I almost swallowed my tongue. Not to mention, nothing in that store screamed 40 YEARS OLD  to me. During a recent trip to the mall I popped in there because – like I said – once I get something like black flip flops with bling in my head, I just can’t let it go.

Buckle was sold plum out of the size 10 Sanuk flip flops that I can’t live without, but thankfully, I found them online. I need another pair of shoes like I need a hole drilled right into the side of my head… I am expecting them any day and I’ll be sure and let you know all about them once they are on my sweet, little feet.

Mission accomplished.

Since ordering the flip-flops, they pop up on every website I visit, which is stupid because I’ve already ordered them. Where were those advertisements two weeks ago when I scoured the internet looking for them?

2. Plus, I found this other cute pair of Sanuk black flip-flops with colorful bling.

3. And speaking of feet, check out my pedicure.

I just love being a baseball mom.

Someone on Facebook asked if my feet had been sprayed with Silly String. These cute sandals came from Payless and they are every bit as cute as they look, not to mention comfortable.

4. While hanging out on Facebook recently, one of those “Suggested Pages” showed up on my news feed. It featured an APP called Two Dots. Normally, I click on the the I don’t want to see this button, but in what can only be described as a moment of weakness, I installed the APP. I’m like a kid with a new iPod trying to beat each level before I run out of lives. I mean it’s not like I don’t have 712 adult things to do around here. What is it about a game requiring you to connect two or more like colored dots that fascinates seemingly rational, educated adults like me? It’s absolute craziness, yet, at this moment, I’m counting down the 13 minutes until my lives fill back up to take a stab at level 29.

5. Have I mentioned My Favorite Things board on Pinterest? There are any number of great things on there, including a great new chopper I recently bought in the Amish Country, along with all of the cute black flip flops with bling I found while searching for the ones I ended up buying.

Have a great weekend, y’all!


Mexican Casserole

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine posted a picture on Facebook of some Mexican concoction. It looked yummy, so I asked if she’d share the recipe.

I made it for dinner a few nights ago and it was really good. I named it simply, Mexican Casserole.

If you’ve spent any amount of time around here, you know I have three requirements for any recipe I share here on the blog:

  • fast
  • easy
  • fail proof

(Though if I’m being honest, the words fail and proof are laughable when you consider that I once burnt a cup of instant macaroni and cheese in the microwave because I forgot to add the water.)

So anyway, here’s the recipe, (I am sorry to say that I forgot to take the customary pre-recipe ingredient picture, but here’s one of the finished product).

  • 1 lb. hamburger (or a little more if you like your casserole meaty)
  • 1 envelope taco seasoning
  • tortilla chips
  • salsa (I prefer mild, but accidentally picked up medium at the grocery store. Like I said, FAIL PROOF)
  • Shredded cheese
  • Lettuce, tomato, sour cream and any other Mexican toppings that your family enjoys

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees

2. Brown hamburger. Drain and then return to skillet.

3. Add taco seasoning packet, along with enough water to mix the seasoning and meat.

4. In a 9×13 pan, spread a layer of tortilla chips, meat, salsa and cheese and repeat until ingredients are gone.

5. Place casserole in oven long enough to melt the cheese (approximately 15 minutes)

6. Once casserole is finished, top with other ingredients.

This is also a great party dish because it serves a bunch.


What I Learned This Week

 Summer is flying by.

McDaddy and Stevie are spending the week at Scout Camp together.

That means that Alex and I are kicking it.

Am I too old to use the phrase “kicking it”?

Alex had his second All-Star game tonight. It was an exciting game.

We won by one run in an extra inning.

Alex had the winning run.

Three hours later, my blood pressure is sky high and I am still wound up like an eight-day clock.

And hoarse.

Being a mom is a wonderful, rewarding experience.

Being a baseball mom is a wonderful, rewarding, intense, dramatic experience.

And I wouldn’t change it for the world.

That’s what I learned this week.

Now, what did YOU learn?

To join in on the What I Learned This Week carnival, simply follow these steps.

1. Any time this week, publish your What I Learned This Week post on your blog and link to this post.

2. Link up with the Mr. Linky form down below. Please put the link to your POST, not the front page of your blog.

3. Then visit the other participants and see what they learned this week. Easy enough? GO!

My Dad (By Alex)

In honor of Father’s Day, I interviewed Alex about McDaddy. His answers to the questions made me smile.

MY DAD – 2014

My Dad is funny because: he tickles me a lot!

My Dad thinks I am funny when: I say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

My Dad is 40 years old.

His favorite thing to do is: Uh, spend time with his family I guess, going camping.

His favorite color is: Last time I checked with him, it was blue.

My Dad’s job is: The Air National Guard

He loves to eat: healthy foods.

He is really good at: Being a mechanic on cars and helping people look online to find out what’s wrong with cars.

My Dad loves when I: hug him.

My Dad always says: He loves me very much and do the right thing, even when no one is watching.

My favorite thing about my Dad is: that he likes to spend time with us and loves us very much.

My sons are so blessed to have him for a Daddy. He has always been a “hands-on” dad – full of patience, integrity, wisdom and generosity. He would tell you he is far from perfect, but he is perfect for us!

The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him. Proverbs 20:7

Indeed, they are.

Happy Father’s Day, McDaddy!!!!


Not Topless This Time!

It has rained on and off for several days. Last night, Stevie’s game was called in the fifth inning due to lightning and we high-tailed it to the car just before the sky opened up and dumped torrential rains down on us. I was thankful that we made it home without incident because at times, the visibility was bad.

It rained on and off throughout the night. And then again, throughout the afternoon. I was sure that Alex’s baseball game would get cancelled, but with the exception of sprinkling just a teeny tiny bit, the rain stopped early in the evening. The temperature was perfect and it was a glorious evening.

I absolutely love being at the ball field. During games, I am typically in the dugout because I am the bookkeeper for Stevie’s team. Because All-Stars is a totally different ball game (see what I did there?) I get to sit in the stands, and visit with the other moms while we watch the game.

After the game was over, I was in a big way of talking (something my Granny always says when she’s in the middle of a story) laughing with some parents when my foot sank into a deep mud hole.

I knew I was going down.

.3 seconds later, my butt and right leg were buried in three inches of muddy water.

My butt cheek was bruised.

And, so was my ego.

Stevie said, “Man, I wish we could’ve gotten that on video for You Tube.”


The ground was wet and soggy and so was I. My Crocs flip-flops did little to help the situation. I couldn’t get up because my wet feet kept sliding in my flip-flops. And there was no reason to get up because I knew there was a 98.4% chance that I would fall again.

The only thing to do was crawl out.

And laugh.

Dang, what a klutz.

As my wet feet sloshed in my wet flip-flops on the way to the car, I tried to figure out what the best course of action would be for the one minute ride home. The thought of hopping into the Jeep in these muddy ‘draws’ was more than I could bear. I knew what I had to do.

And for the first time in, well, ever… I went bottomless in the Jeep instead of topless.

Enjoy that thought and your Thursday!

What I Learned This Week

Here’s what I learned this week.

1. HTML is a language I should learn.

2. Characters strung throughout my blog make me nine kinds of crazy.

3. Even when a rose bush looks like it’s dead, it might not be.

4. If you think you need fresh mulch in your flower bed, you should try weeding it first. And then raking it.

5. With our busy schedules and two Little League baseball schedules, it could be weeks before McDaddy and I find the time to have dinner to celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary.

6. SOB, in the medical profession means ‘shortness of breath”.

7. Even at 40 years old, I still enjoy a good yard sale.

8. My favorite part of summer is not needing an alarm clock.

9. When I see a cute pair of shoes, I should just ask the person wearing them where she bought them. Otherwise, I may end up spending over an hour online looking for them.

That’s what I learned this week.

Now, what did YOU learn?

To join in on the What I Learned This Week carnival, simply follow these steps.

1. Any time this week, publish your What I Learned This Week post on your blog and link to this post.

2. Link up with the Mr. Linky form down below. Please put the link to your POST, not the front page of your blog.

3. Then visit the other participants and see what they learned this week.

Easy enough?