I’m thinking it may be time to throw in the towel on this-here blog. As much as I love this family-friendly – daily rambling about my faith, my family, and my love for the Saturn Sky – I think the time has come to put it to rest.
And write a medical blog instead.
This is no lie – and I wish that I had exact numbers here, because I would never want to be known as one who embellishes a story – but, I’d be willing to bet that out of the 189 days so far in 2013, at least 150 of them have been spent dealing with hospitals, Doctors, medicines, lymphoma, orthostatic hypotension, kidney stones, lithotripsy, ultrasound, X-rays, insurance billing, oncologists, pre-authorizations, peeing problems, CT Scans, lungs, diagnosis, tests, procedures, PleurX drainage catheters, cardiologists, side effects, medical supplies, home health, urologists, neuropathy, diabetes, ureters, orange pee, surgery, urinary tract issues, nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, narcotics, antibiotics, Toradol, dizziness, antibody treatments, scheduling, fevers, chills, or medical appointments.
Seriously, it has been one medical problem after another for my grandmother, my mother, and me.
And while my grandmother and mother are far worse off than I am, I am choosing to share only my medical drama because, well, that’s their business, and this is my blog.
You may recall – or probably not, Lord knows I ramble on about so much – that I had a kidney stone in March. The first pain hit my right kidney while I was sitting with my mom IN THE HOSPITAL. I ended up in Emergency Room of that same hospital a couple of hours after the onset, thinking I might die while I was there.
I passed that stone the next day and prayed to the Good Lord that I would never have another one. It was my second stone in ten years, but unlike the pain of childbirth that everyone says you’ll forget (I wouldn’t know I had two C-sections!) the PAIN FROM A KIDNEY STONE is never ever forgotten. And the next time you’re all sitting around a table looking for a topic of deep discussion or entertaining conversation, have someone mention the words kidney and stone and I can almost guarantee if anyone there has had one, you can bank on hearing the words, worst, pain, I, ever, AND, had.
Have you heard the saying “A healthy kidney is a happy kidney?”
Apparently my kidneys are neither.
Because LO and BEHOLD three short months later I found myself pacing the floor, holding my lower right back, same as I did three short months ago in Room 418 at Charleston Area Medical Center – General Division. I would try to describe the pain, but honestly, aside from A RAGING BULL COVERED IN SAND PAPER ROLLING AROUND IN YOUR LOWER BACK nothing comes to mind.
But wait, there’s more!
This time, I ended up going to the Emergency Room at Charleston Area Medical Center – Women & Children’s Division. I was in total and complete agony and again, crying like a crazed lunatic for the first thirty minutes or so. And then, just like magic, a full three minutes after the Toradol was injected into the IV, I was ready to run a marathon.
Or sleep like a baby.
I don’t know who invented the Toradol, but God bless ’em because it is the MACK DADDY of kidney stone medications. I opted for the CT Scan this time because LET’S GET THIS THING A MOVIN. After the size and location of the stone were confirmed, I was given five (FIVE!) prescriptions and sent home with instructions to follow up with my Doctor.
As always seems to be the case with me, this thing wasn’t going without a fight. My Doctor called to inform me that the stone was stuck in my ureter, obstructing my bladder, and OH, let’s just do surgery this time. I could hardly contain myself. Surely I could pray this thing out of me. After all, the thought of a perfect stranger exploring the business end of things while I am drugged up and OUT OF IT on a cold operating room table doesn’t necessarily appeal to me. But then, neither does painful pressure of “my parts” before, during and after peeing. Not to mention the CONSTANT URGE I felt even when I was only good for three or four drops.
Or a urination aggravation.
I think we’ll call this The McMedical Mini-Series.