Trying To Trust

It’s been quite sometime since I’ve blogged with any consistency. The truth is, my heart hasn’t been in it. In fact, my heart hasn’t been in much of anything for the past month. You see, when something – and by something, I mean something that takes the wind out of your sails – hits your family, the last thing you want to do is sit behind a computer screen and pretend that everything is happy and peaceful and wonderful.

If this were only about me, y’all know me well enough to know that I would report every single detail right here and ask for your prayers and support. But since this isn’t only about me, all I can do is ask that you trust me when I tell you that my family desperately needs your prayers and support right now.

Instead of being depressed and sad all the time, I am trying – desperately trying – to see the positives in this situation.

Months ago, I started in on McDaddy about going on a cruise before his deployment. Within a few months, we had booked a Caribbean cruise to Cozumel and Grand Cayman Islands with friends of ours from church. The cruise sets sail tomorrow.

We made the decision to cancel the cruise two weeks ago, and honestly, it was an easy decision because of what we were facing. What we had no way of knowing that last Sunday night – while at the hospital with my sweet momma – that I would be hit with a kidney stone. Once I figured out what was going on, I hurried home so that McDaddy could take me to the ER. (I was scared to go by myself!) As horrible as the pain was, I was thankful to be seen very quickly once we arrived at the hospital. I was even happier that my pain quickly subsided once I received two hits of pain medication. Based on a previous kidney stone experience, I had hoped I would pass the stupid thing the next day. With the help of a paper funnel, I was able to know that I had indeed successfully passed the thing, but I still had some nausea and minor pain the next day. And as if that wasn’t enough, shortly after that piece-of-sand looking thing exited my body, I came down with what I thought was a sinus infection. I called my Doctor and made an appointment for later that day.

This sinus infection crap?

Ended up being, um, the flu.

FLU B to be exact.

And I’m not sure how much experience you have with the FLU B, but you should believe me when I say the FLU. DOES. NOT. PLAY.

Please understand that I in no way mean to suggest that the flu is worse than this other thing we have going on. I’m really just trying to say that had we not cancelled the cruise two weeks earlier because of this other thing, my three sweet fellas would have been cooped up in a car for the better part of 14 hours headed south listening to me whine, cry, hack and choke.

In that order.

Doesn’t sound one bit appealing to me, and I’m betting if you asked McDaddy he’d say the same thing.


Instead of boarding a cruise ship tomorrow, I will pray for more than a three-hour stretch of sleep without waking up from a dead sleep scared that I’m choking on my own phlegm. And I will be thanking the Good Lord that I’m in my own bed and not out in the middle of the ocean on a ship dealing with who-knows-what-else?

I won’t even bother asking “Can things get worse?” because you better believe that answer is YES.

Even though I have spent weeks focusing on the negative, I am trying my best to remember that God can see the big picture and his desire is for me to trust Him. I would be lying if I said that is easy for me. The truth is, it is tough. VERY tough when you consider how bad things can seem when we can’t see past the hour, much less the day.

I am trying my best to trust.

Please remember us in your prayers.


  1. erika says

    Hi Julie,
    I have been praying for your family. Praise God you did pass your stone and praying for flu goes away quickly and no one else in your family gets it. Praying for your mom too. God bless you all.

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