Letters To Crazy People

Dear Louis Vuitton Outlets,

PLEASE STOP SPAMMING MY BLOG. Your comments must be approved by the blog author. Last time I checked, that was me, and I will never ever approve your spam. SO STOP IT ALREADY.

Sincerely,

A Purse Lover Who Hates Spammers

—–

Dear ASPCA,

Your commercials are hideous. STOP. IT.

Seriously,

The gal who mutes your depressing commercials.

—–

Dear Julie,

Your house is a hot-mess. You do not have a maid. Put down the beloved iPhone, stop playing GEMS with friends, turn off the television, AND GET YOUR CRIB CLEANED UP.

Thank You Kindly,

Julie

—–

Dearest Saturn Sky,

I regret to inform you that the time has come to move you to the storage facility a.k.a the inlaw’s extra garage. I am so sorry to do this to you, but I cannot bear the thought of scraping MY WINDSHIELD every. stinkin’. morning.

Always and Forever,

The SKYHIGH Driver

—–

Dear Influenza A,

Get out and stay out. That is all.

One Aggravated Momma

—–

Dear MTV,

This Buckwild nonsense is ridiculous. It is my hope that America has enough sense to know that these seven goofballs are not an accurate representation of our community, or our state. I live within miles of where you jokers filmed this show, and I am appalled.

Ugh,

An Aggravated Resident

——

Dear Sweet Boys,

I know that we’ve been super busy these past three weeks. That is NO friggin’ excuse for your rooms to look the way they do. For the love of all that is holy, please, please, please clean them up before I come knockin’ on your door with a trash bag. And you boys know I will do it in a hot minute.

With all my love,

Your Mom

—–

What would your letter to a crazy person say today?

Comments

  1. Becky says

    Dear Becky,

    Things are not fair. Very few people care about your feelings. Even your Momma doesn’t care. Get over yourself. Nobody is unhappy but you…oh…and your family because you set the mood for the entire house. Grow up!

    Post holiday Funk Becky :(

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