The Bearer Of Bad News

If you’ve spent any amount of time around here this week, you’ve probably noticed a somber tone in my writing. While I try to keep things light around here (because let’s face it, people have enough of their own drama without coming here and reading about mine!) honestly, that’s just not possible all the time.

While I’ve danced around this subject for the past two weeks here on the blog, what I really want to say scream from the top of my lungs is OUR LITTLE FAMILY HAS BEEN HIT WITH DEPLOYMENT AGAIN AND I AM NOT ONE BIT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

Phew.

That felt good.

While we knew there was a chance he might have to serve another sentence assignment, the news was still hard to stomach. There were tears at first. And then anger. And then more tears. And then OH MY GOSH WE HAVE TO TELL THE BOYS.

Oh, and our boys?

They are troopers.

They responded to the news by getting the globe and finding the location. And then, they talked about what all they would do for daddy while he was gone.

We each have different ways of working through the news, and I can honestly say that our boys, our sweet boys, handled the news better than I did. And if I’m being honest, I haven’t completely worked through the news because it is still like a fresh, open, raw wound. It is tough to work through news like this. There are little minor details that need to be worked out, like who will change the air conditioning filter while he’s gone, and then there are the biggies, like updating the power of attorney, and figuring out how McDaddy can balance the checkbook from half-way around the world so that me and my mad math skills don’t land us in the poor house. 

Deployment feels a little different this time around because we have been through it once already, but when he delivered the news, it was as if he dropped a bomb in my lap. I was not expecting it, and just like the first time I felt angry and scared. I was angry because it feels like he just returned from Guantanamo Bay yesterday, and I was scared because, well, these are perilous times we live in. Over the past few months, McDaddy and I have talked extensively about his military career. He joined the WV Air National Guard when we were juniors in high school and so this is all we have ever known. Still, it is like unchartered waters because he is not going back to Cuba. And, unlike last time, we will not be able to visit half-way through.

That means for six L-O-N-G painful months, we will be apart. And as I sit at my keyboard with tears streaming down my cheeks, I am scared.

I’m scared about our boys getting sick or having an accident, because he is always the voice of reason.

I am scared for his safety.

I am scared because our boys need him to check their homework if they stand a chance at passing math.

And I’m scared that my emotional stability may not be up to this challenge.

And I’m angry.

I’m angry because our country is in a mess making this deployment necessary.

And if I’m being honest, I’m angry because there are servicemen who have never been deployed, yet, here we are for our second go-round in three years.

I know that probably sounds selfish.

And I’m sad.

I’m sad that my boys have to go through this pain again.

And mostly I’m sad that this man, this man I love with every fiber of my being will be all alone and away from everybody and everything that is familiar to him.

And that makes my heart hurt in a way that I cannot describe.

So, on behalf of our family, would you commit to praying for us? First, that God would prepare our hearts and our minds for this difficult time of separation. (Because honestly? I need it badly.) And secondly, and most importantly, please pray specifically for McDaddy’s safety while he is away from us.

I know that in times like this I have to trust.

But man, it is so tough when the mountain is so tall and you seem so small.

And so it begins…..

Comments

  1. Bill Stover Sr says

    Julie, our Prayers will be with McDaddy, Stevie,Alex and YOU. When does the 6 months begin ? Is the destination a secret?

  2. Missy says

    Now I sitting here with tears running down my face. I love you and your family dear friend. Don’t sweat the small stuff ill send Big Daddy over to change filters in the air conditioner! We are here for you whatever you need. Please don’t be afraid to ask. I pray for you all daily.

  3. Jenn Kelley says

    Please know that my prayers will be with you during this time. I can not imagine the roller coaster of emotions you and your family are on but thank you for your family’s service to our country. To quote one of my favorite songs, be strong in the Lord, never give Up hope. Blessings to your family.
    Jenn

  4. Sara Anders says

    Be strong in the Lord. Know that he is with you, the boys, and McDaddy in all things and in all places. While you may not be together, the Lord is with you all!

    Will be praying for your family during this time. Thanking both McDaddy and your family for your family’s service and dedication to our country.

    Love y’all!
    Sara and Tim

  5. Wendy says

    I am so sorry your family is having to go through this again. Please know that someone in Texas is praying for y’all!!

  6. Amy Stricker says

    Julie,
    My heart goes out to you and your boys. Travis and I did 5 deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan before he was medically retired last month. They were all between 7-9 months, and I literally felt like half my heart was gone when he wasn’t home. Some of the new wives would ask me how a deployment felt since they were coming up on their first one. I would always be honest and tell them that it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room and I couldn’t breathe. Then he would call me or email me and I would feel as if I could breathe a little. You are better prepared after you have been through one, but the hurt and sting of it is still there. I thank God all the time for bringing my husband home safe and sound. I also thank God that technology is much better than it was back in the day, or even just 9 years ago. In 2003, in AFG, Travis was stationed at a fire base that did not have Internet, no MWR phones, and the one satellite phone was hit with a rocket the week he got there. For that entire deployment we only had letters that took 3-4 weeks to go back and forth. It was brutal. When I would feel down about it though, I would remember my Grandma spending years without her husband during WWII and even having to bury a child to pneumonia all by herself. That always gave me the kick in the butt that I needed.

    Again, my heart goes out to you. I am here if you ever need anything. Enjoy all your moments together before he goes, and start planning all the wonderful things you will do when he returns. I will keep you all in my prayers.

  7. Chelsea says

    Wow, my heart breaks for you. I’m so sorry this is happening again. You are all in my prayers. Thank you, thank you, thank you to your whole family for sacrificing. Hugs and Dr Peppers to you.
    Chelsea recently posted…momentsMy Profile

  8. Teresa says

    My heart breaks again for you, Julie! I had noticed the somber tone and wondered if another deployment had happened or was in the works. You and your boys are in my prayers…and of course, McDaddy.

  9. says

    Julie,

    Of course you will be in my prayers! I have started already. I cannot imagine what this is like, but God is good and your faith in him will get you through it!

    Hugs and good vibes headed your way….and if you need a Dr. Pepper fix, you know who to call! 😉
    Allison@Slice of Heaven recently posted…Pixie Dusted EmailMy Profile

  10. ERIKA says

    Thanks for serving our country.. Oh my gosh theres a MC DaDDY serving our country.. lol. Praying for you Julie, and your family. My 22 year old daughter just finished Army basic, then Army computer school in Georgia (Army Reserves) now shes debating weather to go ROTC, Jump out of helecopters or whichever now opened to girls.. ( but shes 5’4 98pds) might not get that or go active duty.. Ugh I dread deployments even though I did it before with husband in Marines ugh ugh ugh!!

    God bless you guys.

  11. Margie says

    Hugs and prayers for your dear family from California. I found your blog from works for me Wednesday sometime back and have kept coming back because I love your sense of writing and humor. Also your picture from your jail days reminds me of my best friend from the glory 90’s days. I will pray for your family and especially your husband.

  12. says

    Oh Julie, you and your family are in my prayers. Please let McDaddy know how very grateful my family is to him and for his service to our country. He is so appreciated. Words cannot even adequately express. God bless you and your family, sweet girl. 🙂
    Fiddledeedee recently posted…Getting the lead outMy Profile

  13. Janiece Mack says

    So sorry to hear of the deployment. Our son-in-law was deployed to Iraq a few years ago and we did not take it well. He is home now – we look back and hated every minute of it ‘cept the part of us meeting him in Hawaii. Larry Dean and my only chance (ever) to go to Hawaii…. but nothing was worth doing without Mark for a year. Keep trusting in God, and keep those boys busy and he will be hope soon…. Let us know if we can cheer you up in any way.

  14. says

    Oh Julie,

    I have been away and only just seen this and my heart breaks for you. I can only imagine how it feels for all 4 of you as I could not imagine life without hubby. I wish I could offer some words of advice as well as comfort but I can’t and I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about all of you.

    xx
    Tina Desmond @ribena musings recently posted…The big 40My Profile

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