I have been keeping a running list of all the things I learned this week and I was totally prepared to share that list with you, today, here in this forum.
Anybody remember The People’s Court?
And then. THEN!
An unexpected visitor showed up and I came thisclose to hyperventilation (it’s a word in my book) laced with a panic attack and I figured anything that had me that worked up should at least be used as an opportunity to learn and grow and so I am switching gears and writing about something that just might gross you the heck out. Or give you the willies. Or make you shiver. Or all of the above.
It all started on Saturday evening. McDaddy and I were sitting together as we always do, on opposite ends of the couch, both with our laptops, when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted something walking slowly from one corner of our living room in the direction of my new chair. I wasn’t exactly sure what it was, however, I knew from the looks of its long thin tail it was probably a mouse.
It wigs me out just typing that.
My heart pounded and I tried to get out the words I, just, saw, a, mouse, but instead it sounded something more like “I uh just uh saw uh something uh walking uh over uh there and uh i um think uh it uh was uh a mouse”, all the while holding my chest and trying to regulate my breathing.
Recognizing the same flair for the dramatic that he has witnessed countless times throughout the years we’ve spent together, McDaddy went to grab a flashlight and mumbled something about a water-bug.
I kept my eyes focused on the basket the mouse was hiding behind until McDaddy returned with a flashlight. He scrunched down behind my beloved chair and shined the flashlight behind the basket, only to verify that yes, yes indeed, it was a mouse.
I learned that mice don’t always run.
I immediately lost all sense of rational thought and started to cry.
Yes, I said, “Started to cry”.
And just about any other thing that you can think of.
And no, I am not ashamed.
While McDaddy began formulating a plan and gathering supplies to trap the little sucker, I did what I always do. I updated my Facebook status to something like, “I am on my knees in our new couch because I think I saw a mouse. McDaddy is making a plan.” And then I prayed that God would let that little thing sit his little butt right behind my beloved Longaberger basket until McDaddy could make it back upstairs because I’m telling you folks, had that thing decided to make even the slightest move I might have suffered a heart attack right there in my living room on our new couch.
McDaddy hustled up the stairs with a bucket, a broom and a lid in the hopes that he could lure the thing into the bucket and evict him from our house. As luck would have it, the stupid little sucker had another idea in mind and he ran right back to the corner where our television stand is located thus beginning a stand-off that would ultimately last three hours and fifteen minutes. In the meantime, I made McDaddy promise that he would not take his eyes off of the television stand while I located a mouse trap. I stood watch as he baited the trap with cheese and then I watched as he carefully and successfully slid the trap (with a broom) right beside of the television stand and the mouse.
My McDaddy is such a good man. He has the ability to quickly and rationally assess a situation and act upon it, even in the event that his wife is acting a fool and in need of some very serious anxiety medication and I was reminded once again why I loved him so much.
Would you believe that McDaddy and I sat very quietly (except for my sudden outbursts of frustration and panic) and watched the brazen fool nibble cheese from that trap for the next hour.
I learned that mice are gentle.
I knew I needed to do something because things were not happening fast enough.
Somehow between crying fits and irrational thoughts, I managed to gather my composure long enough to consult with Google about ‘the best way to catch a mouse’. My research taught me that the use of peanut butter on a trap is more effective than cheese. So, McDaddy got the broom, carefully pulled the trap toward him, replaced the cheese with peanut butter, and then used the broom once again to return the trap to its place beside of the television cabinet.
Do you see the Longaberger basket on the bottom shelf? The little joker hung out just under that basket, between the carpet and the glass and even through the layers of dust on the shelf, I could see his hairy little body and know that he was still there. FOR A LONG TIME HE STAYED IN THAT SPOT no doubt mocking me as I whined and cried to McDaddy about not being able to go to sleep until I knew for certain that this thing was out of our house.
I learned that mice do not take kindly to being backed into a corner.
I stood firm for a long time.
I did my best to assess the situation logically, but for the life of me I COULD NOT bring myself to go to bed knowing there was a live, dirty, sneaky little rodent loose in our house. I just couldn’t do it. Each time he made his way to the trap, I prayed that God would snatch that little monster right out of this world.
It never happened.
I learned that mice are patient.
McDaddy and I were up until 2:15 AM EST participating in this stand-off that was happening right in our living room.
The mouse was wearing me down and finally I could do it no more.
My heart was pounding. My throat was parched. My breathing was irregular. And folks, I was sleepy. I fought the urge to stand watch all night long and I walked down the hall to our bedroom as if I were walking to my execution. I crawled into bed with tears in my eyes grasping a tissue. Again I prayed that God would trap this little nuisance.
I woke up the next morning to an empty trap and a missing mouse. After church I went to Lowes and purchased eight (yes, I said eight!) traps. I came home, put some peanut butter on the wood ones and placed six of them in strategic places throughout our home. And by strategic, of course I mean I placed them where I thought I might go if I were a mouse living in this house.
I went all Kevin McCallister with the traps.
As of this writing six of the traps are empty.
The other two traps are downstairs and I have no idea if they are occupied or not.
McDaddy warned that IF the mouse ends up in one of the four glue traps, he will be trapped ALIVE and it will be up to me to remove and discard the sucker if he happens to be away on business and was I ready and willing to do that? And yes, I will be able to remove and discard the little snot in the event that he gets hung up in the trap.
That is if, and only if the sheer horror of my squeal doesn’t kill him first.
That’s what I learned this week.
Now, what did YOU learn?
You can read the long detailed version of rules here, or follow these easy steps.
1. Any time this week, publish your What I Learned This Week post on your blog and spread the news to your bloggy friends so more people will join in on the fun.
2. Within that post, please mention the What I Learned This Week carnival and link to this post here at From Inmates To Playdates.
3. Then link up with Mr. Linky down below.
4. Visit the other participants and see what they learned this week. Then leave a comment because comments are fun!