Facebook reminds me of a big, flippin’ party with lots of different guests. I imagine all 600+ of my Facebook friends wandering around a big room holding various drinks in their hands trying to talk above all the noise.
There are those who are party poopers and those who are party animals. Then you have party planners and party crashers. And, as always there is the life of the party. Regardless of which party person you are, you are not alone. Whether you call it The Facebook or just plain Facebook (which is it anyway?) I think most of you would agree that life without Facebook is hard to imagine.
What better way can you think of to stalk an ex, remember your neighbor’s birthday, invite 50 people to your Pampered Chef party, or find out that your highschool classmate is newly divorced. Myself, I spend a ridiculous amount of time nosing in people’s business and their pictures and sometimes even their friend’s list looking around at all the crazy. Some days, the crazy keeps me busier than a raccoon in a trashpile. On the days I don’t have time to check in (yes, there are days), I spend some time before bed getting caught up on what went down.
The crazy flags? Oh yes indeed, they fly high on The Facebook.
Which explains why I fit in so well over there.
I typically classify my Faceb0ok friends into categories depending on how they like to party. Depending on my mood, I can be the life of the party, or a party pooper, so if you’re reading this thinking she’s talking about me, chances are, you are wrong, because I am, without a doubt, the craziest girl at this party.
The Players– And I don’t mean “playas”. I am speaking of the folks who spend hours planting, plowing and harvesting imaginary crops as if their very lives depend on their timely Facebook farming skills. One statistic says that 53% of Facebook users are gamers, so I realize there are a bunch of y’all. I just don’t get why some gamers find it necessary to let the Facebook population know that their crops are watered. Just think of the food you could actually have at your disposal if you spent that much time on a real live garden.
Oh, and if you happen to be one of those who play Mafia Wars, please don’t hunt me down and shoot me for voicing my opinion.
Now, if Words With Friends ever goes live on Facebook, all bets are off.
Dirty Laundry Dorks- There are at least two people in my long list of Facebook friends who use Facebook to air their personal, dirty laundry. They post about family business that has absolutely NO business being aired in such a public forum. They share freely and frequently and in some cases it is all I can do to NOT respond. If you are one of those people who use your Facebook to share personal family business, you should know that it makes you look like a dork. I never thought I would say this but there IS such a thing as too much information.
Peeping Toms – Of my 600+ friends, there are several [read: A LOT] who I have never heard from. Not a single status update. Not a single comment. When they see you out in public and mention something that lets you know they HAD to read it on your Facebook, you wonder where they’ve been all this time. They hide behind the bushes and come out only to nose around in everyone else’s business. Not that I have a problem with people nosing in someone else’s business, I just feel like you should at least stand up and be heard once in awhile.
Potty Mouths – Oh my word, if there is one thing that aggravates me more than anything it’s those who drop the F-bomb in their status updates. I get that most of us are adults, but I don’t get why people feel it necessary to use that word in their status updates. Seriously, there are so many other words you can use to get your point across. Find one.
Love Birds – Y’all know this type, right? These are the people who display romantic love notes on the front page of their Facebook. They get all lovey-doveyand leave each other affectionate messages as if they are the only two people on the Facebook planet.
[And just so y’all know, I would definitely be a love bird if McDaddyhad a Facebook.]
Open Books – Don’t you just love it when Facebook friends are open books. You know the ones. They update every single hour with where they are, what they are doing, where they’re going, and where they’ve been. Not that I mind any of these, because hello? Nosey, much? Oh, and they are also the ones who check in. To bed.
Cliff Hangers – This type aggravates the living daylights out of me. They give you just enough information in the status update to make you want to know more. I want to ask when, why, how and how-dare-you- leave us hanging.
Sad-Sacks:These folks never have one single good thing to say. They are Negative Nellies and spend their time on Facebook letting the world know how miserable it is to be them. There’s not a person I can think of who actually enjoys reading this mess. Cheer up. It could be a lot worse.
Did you find yourself at the party? Are you a party pooper or a party animal or the life of the party?