I am sitting on my big, blue, bloggy couch with my knee propped up. McDaddy and I are watching Desperate Housewives and I am freezing. Just after McDaddy grabbed a blanket, I mentioned that maybe we should turn the ceiling fans off. He then told me some kind of nonsense about the fans pushing hot air from the ceiling down toward us which makes entirely no sense to me, because surely the fans are circulating air around, but hey, what do I know?
I thought it might be fun to tell you about all the things I didn’t do this weekend because that would be a lot better than what I actually did.
1. It most certainly was not me who while merrily walking to my van did a faceplant on the driveway Saturday evening.
2. And I have not been hobbling around whining about my shattered kneecap ever since. I was not not the least bit concerned about my knee because my knee is insured, but, the iPhone, um, not so much.
3. I am not the type of person who would unscrew the bath & body soap pump on the left hand sink in our bathroom to pour some of the soap into the pump sitting on the right hand sink just so the soap pumps would have the same amount in them.
4. It wasn’t me who swarped like a crazy person last week in an attempt to get some junk moved out of the McResidence before Christmas and transferred to our neighborhood “Goodwill” place.
5. I have not walked into each of those rooms several times for the sole purpose of admiring my work because clearly I have better things to do with my time.
6. I have not been agonizing over the annual McFamily Christmas letter the past few days because it is perfectly acceptable for me to wait until the last minute to get it done.
7. After arriving home one evening last week to find the front door open and the living room lights on, I did not enter the house ready to go all ‘Jackie Chan’ on an intruder.
8. Y’all know I’m a morning person, so there’s no way I’m counting down the days until Friday where I’ll have nine glorious days to sleep late WITHOUT interruption from my stupid alarm clock.
9. And, finally, it is not me who has made a solemn pledge to trudge through two years worth of blog posts to replace pictures that are no longer showing up on my blog because things like that do NOT bother me in the least.
How ’bout you? What did you NOT do this weekend?