Inmates, Embalming, and Minding Your Own Business

Over in my side-bar I have a Feedjit box that tells me who’s visiting, where they came from, and how they arrived.

I often chuckle at the things that people search for on Google. Don’t get me wrong, I am one of those people. I Google frequently and have no problem admitting that I look for lots of things over there. My favorite thing to Google is myself. My last trip to Google Lane revealed a federal lawsuit where I was named as a defendant and a jail inmate was named as the plaintiff.

I had a good laugh about it, especially since the suit was dropped by the court system. I was sued several times during my five years in jail, so it wasn’t a big surprise.

I thought it would be fun to share the things people are searching for at Google when they show up here at my doorstep.

London, England arrived from google.co.uk on “Ghetto Martha Stewart” by searching for martha stewart of the ghetto.

  • What’s up, London? First, I’d like to say welcome. Second I’d just like to point out that Martha Stewart spent some time in a federal prison in Alderson, West Virginia, though I can’t imagine that’s anything like the ghetto. Not sure if you hit pay dirt with your search, but I’m sorry to say I don’t have any knowledge of Martha being in the ghetto.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin arrived from google.com on “What I Learned At The Funeral Home” by searching for watch a person being embalmed

  • Hello Milwaukee, I once visited your fine state when McDaddy took me to The Mall Of America for our 10th Anniversary. We enjoyed a beautiful weekend in Minneapolis and took a drive into Wisconsin just to say we had been there. It’s a sad shame y’all couldn’t have gotten the MOA gig. I’m sure that joint brings quite a few visitors to Minnesota annually. I had a big-eyed time there and will never forget the weekend we spent together, or the beautiful Sunday afternoon drive we took in Wisconsin while we were there. But enough about the Mega Mall. As far as the ‘watching a person being embalmed’ thing, I must point out that not everyone is cut out for the ‘watching an embalming gig’. It is disturbing, to put it mildly. First of all, you must get past the inital shock of seeing a dead body. I must admit I hadn’t fully prepared myself for that part upon arrival. Next, there’s the blood. Lots and lots of blood. If you are the least bit squeamish about weird smells and blood, you might want to consider doing something else. After that there is the whole trocar needle thing which you can read about in detail here. If after reading that mess, you think you’d like to watch an embalming, have at it. And if you DO end up watching, I’d love to hear what you think.

Perris, California arrived from google.com on “Bloggity Fun – From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for funny items to send inmates.

  • Hi there, Perris. How are things in Cali? I remember a song from back in the day that says, “I’m going back to Cali, Cali, Cali, I’m going back to Cali, no I don’t think so.” Do you ever sing that song? I’ve been to Cali and I’d love to get back there some time, so we’ll see. Where was I? Oh, the funny items to send to inmates thing, the first thing you should know is that most items you send to inmates will not be given to your inmate because people have a tendency to send things like, oh, I don’t know shanks, and drugs, and escape tools, oh my. So, your best bet is to send a money order so that your inmate can buy some things from the commissary. Thanks for stopping by FITP, Inc.

Henderson, Texas arrived from google.com on “Wet T-Shirt Contest” by searching for wet tshirt post.

  • Henderson, Henderson, Henderson, I’m sure you were disappointed when you discovered that my wet t-shirt post isn’t at all what you were looking for. We’re just a group of Christian girls at a Ladies retreat who played a game that included thawing a wet t-shirt that had been frozen solid and putting it on faster than the other team. I must say though the words wet and t-shirt have sent many a nosey pervert person my way. Just kidding, just kidding. Kinda.

Dothan, Alabama arrived from google.com on “From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for cute inmate blog.

  • Hi Dothan. I’m so glad you stopped by. Cute inmate blog, huh? Well, that’s flattering, if in fact you were looking for my cute little inmate blog, From Inmates To Playdates, only it’s not so much an inmate blog. Still, I’ll take the traffic regardless.. I hope it was me you were looking for because I can’t hardly imagine there is another crazy person out there some other person that has a ‘cute inmate blog’. Thanks for looking me up.

Carrollton, Texas arrived from google.com on “Nosiness” by searching for what does the bible say about nosiness?

  • Oh Carrollton, if there is one thing I know, it’s that God never meant for us to be nosey. In fact, you need only to look at 1 Thessalonians 4:11 – “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you”  Ahem! That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

Feedjit works for me! Check out other things that might work for you over at THAT family.

Comments

  1. says

    Thanks for the giggles! It has been a long day and I needed that.

    And also thanks for sharing about Feedjit. I never even heard of it, so it just goes to show you that you learn something new every day. I enjoy your blog a whole lot!

    I hope you’ll stop over and visit sometime over at Free 2 Be Frugal.

  2. says

    Oh, my gosh, that’s hilarious! It’s not only strange what people look for, but what they find. When we first had the internet, I looked up “Babe.” You can imagine what I found!
    Needless to say, the whole search changed when I searched for: “Babe the Movie”!

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