Open Letter To The Lady On The Tram

I found this in my Drafts Folder from July. This crazy has been brewing for two months.


To: The Rude Lady At Busch Gardens

From: The Hot, Tired Mama With Two Small Boys

Date: Today

RE: You’re Rude Self

Dear Rude Lady,

Last Wednesday evening, my husband, my two boys and myself spent a gloriously hot day at Busch Gardens. We stayed until the park closed and then made our way to the park entrance. We joined the crowd of people waiting for the tram to take us from the park entrance to our car. We were hot and tired and in need of something cold to drink.

My little family was next in line to board the Tram in Row #5 when you and your rude friend shot out of  your line (#4) and into our seats in row five.

Do you not realize there are designated rows for a reason?

That means that each waiting row is designated for a corresponding row on the tram.

But I suspect you knew that already.

You just CHOSE not to follow the rules.

Our sweet boys couldn’t understand why someone would ‘skip line’ when we had talked all day about waiting our turn and being polite and I couldn’t understand why you couldn’t have waited, oh, I don’t know, 45 seconds for the next tram.

And the funny thing is, you never said ONE WORD during the incident. Even when the joker in charge of the tram had the nerve to tell McDaddy and I that we’d have to HOLD OUR KIDS ON OUR LAP because there were not enough seats for all of us in our row, you and your friend/daughter? stared straight-ahead without saying one single word.

Then, when I blurted out that you that you and your rude friend needed to scoot over because you jumped in front of us, again, you sat tight-lipped, looking straight ahead and did not move an inch.

Are you freakin’ kidding me?

After a hot, tiring day, the last thing I wanted to do was tangle with you and your rude self.

If you happen to be perusing the internet today and come across this letter, you should know that you made a fool out of your self all in the name of arriving at your car a full minute sooner than you would have if you had followed the rules. You are a bully and I’d be willing to bet you’ve spent your life throwing  your weight around with zero regard for rules or the decency to do the right thing. I’d be willng to bet that eventually you’ll cross paths with someone who will kick your trash. Either that or you’ll end up in an 8×8 cell making collect calls home about your next visitation.

You might want to think about your behavior before its too late.


An Ex-Jail Counselor

I hadn’t planned on doing a Thursday Thirteen today, but I got all wrapped up in watching McDreamy on Ellen and before I knew it seven random things were making their way from my fingertips, so, I might as well just finish this list off.

Let’s talk about one of my favorite things.

The Crazy.

1. This morning I had breakfast with three girlfriends at the iHop. We talked about Crazy Kathy [name changed to protect the not-so-innocent crazy person] and trashy panties.

2. I also had dinner at the iHop with my fellas and my parental units. We did not discuss trashy panties.

3. I had crazy painful cramps this morning thanks to the ‘mones. I haven’t had crazy painful cramps in years.

4. I forgot to take a bottle of water to the gym yesterday. I took a dollar into the gym so I could buy a water from the machine. I was crazy to think I could purchase a bottle of water for one dollar.

5. Stevie’s school is having a fund-raiser at Chuck E. Cheese today. I’ll be three kinds of crazy by the time I leave there.

Pray for me please.

6. At the gym yesterday, I rode ten miles on the bike. My butt hurt like crazy all day.

7. My iPhone is acting crazier everyday. It was off for over three hours today. I almost gnawed my arm off.

8.  Edwards Hershey Pie is crazy delicious, however, it’s not nearly as enjoyable if you spent 45 minutes on the exercise bike earlier in the day.

9. The new ear cream prescribed to me by my ear Doctor is working beautifully. Thankfully, my ear is not driving me crazy right now.

10. Regardless of how much I LOVE their yellow and blue stripe fabric, the folks at Craftmaster are crazy if they think I’ll pay $698. for their cute little rocker chair. Somewhere out there is another cute accent chair that I will love just as much.

11. There is some crazy fascinating information on the facebook. I am amazed daily at the things I read on there.

12. A friend called me last week to ask if I still remember how the breast pump works. To my surprise I talked her through the process and she was able to demonstrate it for a new mommy friend of hers. My memory probably has a lot to do with the fact that I once forgot a very small, but important piece of the pump on a bus trip to the Amish Country back in 2002. I was forced to manually express my milk.

Yes, I just went there. I told you I was crazy.

13. I am still crazy about the Saturn Sky.

Me and my crazy hope you have a wonderfully crazy day!