I’m Feeling Particularly Rowdy!

It’s Monday again and that means it’s time for another edition of Not Me! Monday, brought to you by MckMama. And because I’m feeling particularly rowdy, I’ve compiled an uneven numbered short list of thing I most certainly did not do this past week…

1. I have not spent the better part of two weeks buying and returning swim goggles. As you might (or might not for all I know) recall my sweet boys completed a session of swimming lessons earlier in the summer. Stevie is now swimming and can’t stand to have water in his eyes or to be splashed in the eyes while trying to swim. And so began my quest for a pair of swim goggles that don’t fill up with water the second they hit the water. Why is it that we can put a man on the moon but I can’t find ONE SINGLE PAIR of swim goggles in the Tri-State area that do not leak.

2. I am not! at 11:09 P.M. EST sitting in my big, blue, bloggy chair eating a Snickers bar while writing this post. I’m telling you people the late mid-thirties and their hormones mean business.

3. I am not already dreading the 14-16 hour drive to Florida for a family vacation with McDaddy’s family later this week because I am a great traveller who never complains or whines in the car that she is tired, bored, hot, or sleepy.

4. I did not start a list of stuff to pack three weeks ago for the aforementioned Florida trip because three weeks? Who can keep up with a list for three weeks? Not me!

5. It’s not me who has assisted a certain four-year-old boy for the past seven days in his quest for finding white-wall Lightning McQueen which has apparently been taken hostage in our home. Nor did we find nineteen (19!!!!!) other Lightning McQueens while searching  for White Wall McQueen.

6. I am not of the opinion that the airlines are out of their blame minds for charging outrageous fees for carry-ons, checked baggage, seat assignments, and bathroom visits for goodness sake.

7. I never ever roll my eyes when my boys watch Sonic the Hedgehog because I just adore Dr. Eggman, Knuckles, and Tails. And because I’ll take Sonic anyday over that idiotic voice on Thomas The Tank Engine.

How about you? Is there anything particularly interesting you haven’t done this week? I’d love to here from you lurkers.

Come out, come out wherever you are…..

CSN Stores Dot Com

I was recently contacted by a company called CSN about the possibility of reviewing one of their products. They have over 200 stores and offer just about anything you or I or anyone else for that matter could dream of. They have an entire web-site dedicated to bedroom furniture sets and strangely enough one dedicated to massage chairs of all things. Sadly, that’s not what I’ll be reviewing. Instead, I’m waiting for one of these….

Head over to my Review Page for more.

ecoStore USA

I am a sucker for cleaning products because I love to clean. In fact, I don’t do much else during the day except clean.

Or something like that.

On top of that, I live in a house with three males who couldn’t care less about cleanliness and fingerprints and stained clothes, oh my!

So when I received a an e-mail from ecoStore USA asking if I’d like to review a couple of their products, I was tickled….

Head over to my review page to read the rest of my review for ecoStore USA products.

Open Letter To The Lady At The Restaurant

To: The Lady At The Restaurant

From: A Crazy, Mad Mama

Date: Today

RE: Your rude behavior

Dear Rude Lady,

Earlier today, my sweet four year old and I entered a restaurant to have breakfast. As we made our way to the door, my sweet, polite four year old held the door open for you as you exited the restaurant and walked past us.

As you made your way through the door, you said, “Need a haircut. Need a haircut badly.”

My first thought was that you were making a mental note to yourself, but when I looked up at you, I noticed your gray nappy hair hugged your head, and I knew you had to be speaking to someone else.

Just after picking my chin up off of the floor, I mustered up the words, “Are you talking to him?” referring to my sweet boy and you replied, “Yes, yes I am!”

When I replied, “How rude!” I meant it.

And I would have meant a lot of other things I would have said if I had been given the opportunity. I started to follow you out the  door to confront you but you were old and crotchety and clearly not worth my time. Let it be known however that you have no right to speak to an innocent child that way. With everything in me I had to restrain myself because ain’t nothing worse than a crazy mad mama on the loose. I definitely could have taken you but then I would have had some splainin’ to do to Alex about why I was whoopin’ up on an old lady in a parking lot.

Perhaps you are not a fan of the Mohawk. Perhaps you genuinely thought my sweet boy needed a haircut. I couldn’t care less what you think either way. My boys are being taught to respect adults and mind their manners. Clearly, there is a lot you could learn from them.

The fact of the matter is you are a rude old lady. It’s no surprise you were by yourself.

People like you are why people like me need blood pressure medication.

Sincerely,

A Crazy Mad Mama

P.S. I hope you trip off a sidewalk

Horsepower

I talk about vehicles a lot here on the blog.

So, as one might imagine, I was pretty excited about this week’s You Capture challenge – Vehicles.

I know for certain that McDaddy expects at least one picture of the heap, er, I mean Jeep to show up here today.

And y’all know how crazy I am about the nearly extinct Saturn Sky.

Ahem.

Can you believe I drove by a parking lot and snapped this series of pictures trying to be all secret squirrel because I feared if someone saw me they would think I was some sort of private investigator or stalker or whathaveyou.

Not nearly as sexy, but just as cool, is this vehicle carrying two little Amish boys. 

 And definitely not as sleek and sexy as the Saturn sky, but with just as much horsepower as the previous vehicle is McDaddy’s favorite vehicle.

May, I introduce you to The Heap, ahem, I mean Jeep.

McDaddy loves his Jeep and very often goes “wheelin” with the JeepinWV Jeep club. Sometimes I go too, if there are other wives going and I’ve been properly medicated. It’s a good time for the whole family.

Givin’ some knuckles!

For more vehicle shots (which I’m sure McDaddy will take a peek at) head over to I Should Be Folding Laundry.

Daily Dose Of Crazy

It’s one of those days where my head is swimming.

Not that it’s any different than most days in my head, but today, I suspect I could come up with thirteen very random things to purge from my brain thereby making room for other, more important information.

Let’s see what we can do, shall we?

1. I heard (or read?) somewhere that Harry Connick, Jr. may be the replacement judge for Simon Cowell.

– This news? Sweet hallelujah, this news absolutely thrills me to death!

2. At this very moment, I am playing Words With Friends with both Big Mama and MckMama. I feel like I’ve hit the big time.

– Do you play Words With Friends? I’m JulieWV if you’re looking for a game with a crazy person.

3. Earlier today, my sweet Alex asked “if we could get a pogo stick?”

– Why yes, sweet boy. Yes indeed we can get you a pogo stick. I can think of no better way to crack your head and bust your teeth? On top of that, what else does McDaddy have to do besides fixing a hole in the ceiling?

4. The new 4.0 iPhone software allows you to put your APPs into folders. Did you know that?

– Simply hold your finger on an APP until the little black delete x’s show up allowing you to delete or move them. Drag an APP on top of another APP and release. It will create a folder that you can name and show all the APPs in that folder and will consolidate your eight or nine pages of APPs into fewer pages.

5. Am I the only 30ish woman on the planet who has yet to get swept up in the vampire, Edward, Eclipse nonsense?

– Really. Have. No. Desire.

6. Stevie’s speech teacher had another job lined up for the upcoming school year. In her words, something “just didn’t feel right about the new job!” so she asked if she could have her job at Stevie’s school back.

-Answered prayers.

That’s all I’m sayin.

7. Very excited about two very cool blog reviews coming up in the next week. Stay tuned!

8. Our boys are participating in an eight-week program at our church called Centershot Ministries. Their web-site says “The Centershot Ministry teaches children the life-skill of archery while sharing the good news of Christ at the same time.” That means my four (4!) year old will be shooting a real live bow with real life arrows at a real life target at thirty feet.

Wow. Just wow.

9. Summer is more than half-over. That makes me very sad. Especially when you consider how s-l-o-w the school year creeps by.

10. McDaddy’s cell phone suffered a fatal accident this week. His new phone arrived today. I was concerned that he might need my precious for a few days while out of town on business. Thankfully, my old phone (two phones ago) charged right up and accepted his SIM card. Me and my iPhone have been inseperable and I’m not sure how either of us would have fared if forced to spend time apart.

11. Stevie’s left front tooth is loose and crooked. When he smiles, he looks like Tow Mater.

12. I’m planning an impromptu birthday party for a friend. I’m giving out princess treat bags and may even wear my tiara.

13. I am in the mood for Chili’s chips and salsa. Would love to have some at this very moment. They are warm and salty and wonderful.

I know. I know. I shoulda never brought it up.

Happy Thursday, y’all!

When The Urge Hits!

It is no secret that I have a boat load of quirks.

I do not try to hide it, rather, I embrace it. My quirks and I have been through a lot. In fact, we entertain each other.

Take this evening for instance.

McDaddy is out of town (again!) this week and when that happens, the boys and I get into a tight routine where anything goes. If we want to see a movie, we see a movie. If we want to go to Toys R Us at 7 PM on a Tuesday evening, we go. And we normally eat dinner out somewhere because any reason I can find for not cooking is reason enough. What can I say? That’s just how we roll around here. That’s not to say that McDaddy doesn’t like to have fun or do those things too, it’s just that when he works all day and comes home, there is an expectation of oh, I don’t know, some form of dinner and relaxation in between yard work, domestic projects and playing in the garage with his heap, er, I mean Jeep.

Another thing that happens when he’s gone, is that I very often feel like a lost ball in a field of weeds. Not that I mourn McDaddy’s absense or anything, it’s just that I get bored easily. Especially when the boys are watching Tom and Jerry or fighting over batman toys. There are times when the urge hits me to take on a project and if I have any sense at all, I DO the project when the urge hits because Lord knows it might be another three years before the urge hits for that particular project again.

I took the boys to see Despicable Me after Stevie got out of music camp today. The second I walked through our Laundry room (which is a stretch because it is more of a walk-way connecting a “soon to be mudroom” and the new playroom) the urge hit me to sort toys. The boys helped me sort the twelve multi-colored buckets, the bins, and the toy box and before long, it was done.

Then I looked over at my laundry area and another urge surfaced. I kicked off my shoes and got busy. I would have taken a picture of the mess pre-urge, but really, it was embarrassing, and I was afraid y’all would judge so you’ll just have to believe me when I say it was a mess and has been a mess since the laundry room / toy room project got underway. The dryer was covered with all manner of wall fixtures and hanging stuff. A broken toy that needed fixing, a pile of stuff that needed to be taken to Goodwill and who knows what else was there. Immediately beside of the dryer was a microwave stand that housed a small television that we really no longer need along with a VCR (For you twenty-somethings, the VCR predated the DVR) some old coasters, three sleeves of paper cups (another of dad’s “too good to pass up at the auction” finds) and an envelope containing what appeared to be loan papers for a vehicle.

The urge to straighten the mess smacked me in the face and before I knew it, I was swarpin’ and tossin’. Then, I heard the kids going bananas upstairs and knew from the excitement in their voices that paw-paw stopped in for a visit. My dad pops in at totally random times and that’s just fine with me because he can’t sit still either and loves to tackle a good project. I put him to work putting together a dryer rack because my bras and shirts are shrinking at an alarming rate and also because there’s a big dryer funnel looking thing ont he floor that I thought wouldn’t be so obvious if there were a drying rack resting in front of it.

Like I said. Quirks.

Because the dryer rack was about four inches taller than my dryer, I was bothered.

Not the kind of bothered that makes one go, “shoot, I wish that was a bit shorter, oh well!”

I’m talking about the kind of bothered that me and my OCD knocks around that says, “That thing will either be sawed off or I will march it right back to the Wal-Mart tomorrow!”

In a matter of minutes, my daddy had the bottom portion of the dryer rack sawed off and put back in place and I’m sure I heard the hallelujahs roll. We spent the next hour cleaning the windows over the washer and dryer because neither of the TWO! discount dollar stores had blinds long enough for the window. Funny thing is, now that the window is clean and bright, I don’t think I need a blind there.

See for yourself!

What’s that?

Oh that picture?

I thought you’d never ask.

Indeed it is. Yours truly in a Chili Pepper Red Saturn Sky. From the test drive, of course.

My reasoning involves making the laundry room a more enjoyable experience.

And that works for me!

Visit We Are THAT Family for more WFMW entries.

Goggles. Gagging. And Groceries

Wow. That’s a mouth full.

So, I’m digging around in my brain for coherent blog fodder, all the while Tom and Jerry is blaring in the background. McDaddy is sitting just feet away from me on his lap-top.

Exciting life?

Why yes it is.

Here’s a quick run-down of the things I’ve learned this week, because, well, I figure I’m here and you’re here and just because that’s the kind of girl I am. And just because I’m feeling frisky, let’s throw caution to the wind and go with a list.

1. Before going to the trouble of shopping, purchasing, and subsequently returning six (SIX!) pair of shorts to five different stores, you should probably just try them on at the store.

2. The Mart of Walls has the most liberal return policy on the planet.

3. When you upgrade your beloved iPhone to the 4.0 operating system, your battery will drain faster. You will also have a few cooler options.

4. When you upgrade your beloved iPhone to the 4.0 operating system, you can expect the same erratic behavior from Words With Friends. For some reason we can put a man on the moon, but we can’t make Words With Friends work consistently.

5. When you haven’t seen or talked to your BFF for any real length of time in weeks, you will talk her ear off when you finally meet up at breakfasst.

6. The kids bagging groceries at the Foodland couldn’t care less about your eggs.

7. $4.00 swimming goggles are just as useless as $1.00 goggles are.

Not sure about $6.00 goggles. Stay tuned.

8. A week at Scout Camp with older boys is a fine motivator for learning to swim and “doing the cannonball” off of the side of the pool.

9. When designing an “egg drop” project for Scout Camp, a roll of toilet paper with the egg nestled in the middle and then surrounded by bubble wrap is not a good casing for the egg.

10. PetSmart is an interesting place to take your kiddos if you have an hour to kill before a movie. Or if you need to purchase thirty crickets.

11. Seeing crickets sold in a paper container at a pet store is enough to make me gag. And apparently enough to dream about them all. night. long.

What about you? What did you learn this week? You know the drill!

Wasn’t Me! Or Was It?

-Washed, dried, folded and put away five (5!!!!) loads of laundry
-Rearranging and straightening the pantry
-Designed an “egg drop” project for Stevie’s scout camp project
-Watched my sweet boy swim for the first time
-Spent over an hour in the grocery store sans kids with time to actually think and plan a two-week menu
-Updated my beloved iPhone to Version 4 or 4.0 (whichever it is)
-Cleaned out the fridge
-Suffered through excessive humidity and extreme temperatures while accompanying my sweet boy at scout camp
-Had a long talk with the boys about fighting, arguing, bickering, etc., etc., etc.
-Used approximately 1/2 bottle of bleach on a load of clothes in a desperate attempt to fight the grunge of camping.

Those are some things I DID do.

Now for the things I most certainly DID NOT do.

-I did NOT find the top piece of my new bathing suit a full four weeks after losing it – ON OUR DINING ROOM TABLE – of all places under a stack of papers. (And even if I did I wouldn’t admit it because who loses a bathing suit top and finds it four weeks later on the end of the dining room table under some papers? Unless of course one is referring to a size three string bikini top because then it would be perfectly understandable how a set of strings bathing suit top could hide out on a dining room table for a full four weeks without anyone noticing it?)

-Nor did I find a brand new bathing suit – purchased last year – in my pajama drawer. Because who puts a bathing suit away at the end of the season and then forgets they even purchased the thing? On top of that, guess what? Last year, I thought the bathing suit was cut way too low. Funny things is, it’s still cut too low for my taste. I can’t win. I’m either wearing a bathing suit that’s cut way too low or I’m going naked because I can’t find the stupid top piece.

-I did not try unsuccessfully to install Version 4.0 iPhone software three nights in a row. (Couldn’t have been me because I am way more technologically advanced than that!)

-It wasn’t me who packed our stuff for a trip to the pool with my fellas without packing a set of floaties for the four year old. (Not I. Because I am way more organized and prepared than that!)

-I did not opt to ignore constant nagging phone calls from fund-raising folks trying to “win” the contract for fund-raising at Stevie’s school (where I am current PTA president). Seriously, this fund-raising thing is a BIG DEAL. I never knew there were so many companies peddling over-priced wrapping paper and flower bulbs. It’s enough to drive a gal crazy.

As if I have far to go.

For more things that people DID NOT do, visit MckMama‘s place.