What I Learned This Week

 It’s been a fun, relaxing weekend. 

But, I am draggin’ my wagon.

My fellas and I spent Memorial Day Weekend in our Summer home camper with two families from our church.

With the exception of the FREAKIN’ HUMIDITY and the never-ending flow of snot that made its way out of my nose, it was a perfect weekend.

Gross. Yes, I know. But totally true. Seriously, where in the heck does it all come from?

Between blowing my brains out into a tissue every three minutes and the endless whining about the stupid humidity, I was a real gem to hang out with this weekend.

Just ask McDaddy.

Even with the drama-filled camping weekend, I found time to learn some stuff. A fact, which I’m sure thrills y’all to pieces.

– Regardless of their claims, generic tissues suck. Or blow. Whichever way you want to look at it.

– In the state of West Virginia, a person is only permitted to be issued a marriage license eight times.

Random. But true.

– When your child’s field day is scheduled for 11:30 am – 1:15 pm, you can pretty much expect to be miserable, especially if it’s 90 degrees in the shade.

– I am apparently at the age where I need to set reminders on my iPhone for events like Dental appointments because apparently writing the appointment on three different calendars is simply not enough.

Dang.

– Microwaving your kitchen sponge for two minutes is a great way to get rid of germs.

– The older your boys become, the less time it will take for them to wear holes in their pants.

– Online forums are a great way to find answers to your automotive questions.

– When your son’s school has a street fair planned, it is a good idea to PUT THE SCHEDULE UP WHERE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FIND IT or else you’ll not have a clue when or where you’re supposed to be.

I guess that’s enough drama information for one week.

How ’bout you? What did you learn this week? You know the drill.

Some Very Good News!

 I’ve received some news.

Some very good news.

In fact, I’m not sure what to do with myself since receiving the news.

Because, this is apparently a pretty big deal. See for yourself.

——–

ESTEVAN NORBERTO CHAMBER
FROM THE DESK OF
BARRISTER ESTEVAN NORBERTO,
143 STRAND, LONDON WC2R 1AP,
ENGLAND, UNITED KINGDOM.
 

Good Day,

I was the attorney to Late Engineer Hamilton Grant. And I hereby attempt to reach you again by this same email address stated on the WILL as my previous notification to you was returned undelivered. I wish to notify you that late Engineer Hamilton Grant made you a legatee to his WILL. He left the sum of three hundred and sixty thousand Great Britain Pounds (GBP£360,000.00) to you in the codicil to his last will and testament.

Being a widely travelled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were recommended to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good. He was a very dedicated Christian who loved to be involved in charitable projects. Until his death he was a member of the Rotary Club International. And he died on the 12th day of July, 2007 at the age of 75 years, and his WILL is now ready for execution.

According to him this money is to support your humanitarian activities and to help the poor and the needy in our society. Please if I reach you this time as I am hopeful that you will endeavour to get back to me. I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.

God Bless,

Barrister Estevan Norberto, Esq  

——— 

According to the handy conversion chart over at Google, Mr. Grant has made me a wealthy woman

Live rates at 2010.05.26 14:36:07 UTC

360,000.000 EUR = 440,714.18 USD

1 EUR = 1.22421 USD  1 USD = 0.816856 EUR

The minute Barrister Estevan Norberto, Esq. sends me my money, I intend to purchase a chili pepper red Saturn Sky to aide in my humanitarian activities, and a new corvette for McDaddy which he will use to drive the poor and needy to the grocery store.

And since I’m buying all that, I might as well purchase a new house with a four-car garage (with top level apartment) to accommodate our ever growing fleet and to assist the needy people of our little town in the event that one of them needs a place to sleep.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I have some humanitarian stuff to attend to.

American Idol – Final Thoughts

I’ve been dreading this night for a number of weeks.

Not only is this the final show of the season. This is the end of a freakin’ era internets.

A nine-season era that I’ve witnessed from the comfort of my living room. A nine-season that has brought me a lot of joy.

I’ve been a loyal fan and supporter of Simon’s since that very first show.

Sure he’s candid at times. Maybe even ruthless. But if I’m being honest, Simon only said things that I myself was thinking 91% of the time. So, yeah, I’ll miss Simey. And his signature wink. And his black shirts. And the banter with Ryan.

Dang.

Just dang.

—–

The whole group number thing always seems so cheesy to me. I cringe everytime I see the contestants coming out in coordinating get-ups. Um, if by chance one of the AI producers pays a visit to my humble bloggy abode, maybe they’ll read this and rethink the whole cheesy, coordinated, lame dance move numbers. Seriously, I love AI, but I typically fast forward through those.

*Crossing fingers*

—–

Alice Cooper, um, do you have any idea thay your face looks dreadful.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

—–

Mr. Kris Allen, Oh how you make me smile, sweet boy. You are such a cutie and it’s great to see you again!

—–

Crystal is singing Alanis Morisette. Have I mentioned that I love Alanis Morisette?

I know. I know.

Alanis has some pent-up anger over something. And sometimes when you least expect it, she slips out a not so nice word. It will be interesting to see how they work that out here on live TV. (Me and McDaddy are sitting in our living room grinning at each other). “Would she go down with you to the theater?” 

Interesting.

—–

There’s that darn iPad again. Everytime I watch American Idol I get the itch for that thing. They show advertisements talking about how beautiful and wonderful and long-lasting it is, and it reminds me that I need want one.

Sorry. I digress easily when a gadget grabs my attention.

—–

Carrie Underwood beautiful and talented.

As always.

—–

Amazing has been uttered at least 1,382 times in the past hour. McDaddy is sitting on the couch cringing. (You might recall he has a slight problem with the arbitrary use of the word amazing.) And really, he’s right. ‘Amazing’ is the word people run to when they can’t think of any other word to say.

——

Casey James is singing Every Rose Has Its Thorn. Some ole 90’s flashback. (Jodie, are you reading, today?) I cruised many a mile with Brett Michaels singing.

And Casey James? This is perfect for him. How cool!

——

Pants On The Ground.

Oh my mercy, here we go again.

And William Hung.

And pants on the ground.

The crazy is in abundance tonight.

——

And speaking of crazy.

Paula Abdul’s back.

And she’s flirting with Simon. And babbling. Always babbling.

Oh Simon, have I mentioned I will miss you terribly?

I love this parade of winners.

Oh, there’s Taylor Hicks. Forgot about him. Loved him back in the day but totally forgot about him.

Memories.

Oh, there’s little David Archuleta. Is he legal yet? If so, he’s a hottie. If not, it’s great to see him again.

Where’s David Cook? Anyone? Anyone?

Is it bad that I’m tearing up? In the words of Simon, it really has been a “blahst.”

——

Is it just me or does Janet Jackson sound strikingly similar to MJ tonight on this opening number. Oh shoot. Nasty Boys. She’s still got it. Dang. This reminds me the late 80’s. I strutted my stuff on roller skates back in the day to this song. I might have even shot the duck. That same duck would keel over and die if I tried that today.

But we’re not here to talk about me.

Or dead ducks.

Janet. You can still rock it girlfriend.

——

Okay. Here we go. *lights dimming*

Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee.

*dramatic music playing*

LEE DEWYZE

BIG FREAKIN SQUEAL!

It’s a beautiful day, indeed!

——

Was that thirteen?

Yes, I think it was.

Happy Thursday, y’all. And congrats, Lee DeWyze.

Sleek, Sexy, Sassy, and Sharp. Just Like Me!

Do any of y’all know how excited I was when I read that this week’s You Capture challenge just so happened to be SKY?

Yes, I figured you might.

Y’all. I squealed.

With delight.

Me and the Sky? We go way back. I’ve been wanting one since that first time one whizzed by me on the open road. See for yourself the awesomeness that is the Saturn Sky.

It’s sleek.

It’s sexy.

It’s sassy.

It’s splendid.

It’s sharp.

And with the top down, you could see this sky.

Or this one.

Oh sweet mercy.

Hey Saturn peeps, are you listening? I need a Saturn Sky badly.

Seriously. Before they’re all spoken for. Pretty please. With sugar and a standard gear shift on top, shoot, you can keep the top for all I care.

That is all.

For more SKY pictures, visit Beth over at I Should Be Folding Laundry.

One Cool Cake

It hit 80 degrees today.

And I, for one couldn’t be happier. I was so afraid that we would spend a summer playing around with 70 degree temperatures and THE RAIN. The stupid stinkin’ rain.

It has rained for weeks.

Dang.

Noah. Bring your ark.

Since the warm weather has finally arrived (and appears to be sticking around pleaseohplease!) and camping season is upon us, I thought it might be a great time to repost this recipe.

My criteria for a successful recipe includes,

  • easy
  • quick
  • fail proof
  • delicious

You can thank me later, especially after you have wowed your circle of friends and co-workers with this delectable delight.

ICE CREAM SANDWICH CAKE   

  • 1 box of ice cream sandwiches
  • 1 large container of cool whip
  • 1 jar of chocolate fudge or Hersheys’ syrup
  • 1 jar or butterscotch or caramel topping

Layer 9X13 baking dish with ice cream sandwiches. Cut sandwiches when necessary to completely fill the pan and appease  your OCD.

Next, spread a thick layer of cool whip.

Drizzle with Chocolate syrup and butterscotch topping.

REPEAT LAYERS

Freeze until ready to serve

Top with crushed Butterfinger or heath bar. (Or your favorite topping such as pecans, sprinkles (for holidays) oreos, or just about anything else you can think of.

Head on over to We Are THAT Family to find more things that may Work For You!

This is their final chance.

And THIS is American Idol.

It’s a big night of television internets. First, I’ll spend some time here with the fine folks at American Idol, and then I’ll head over to DWTS and cheer for hottie Maks.

I’m sitting at home in my big, blue, bloggy chair fighting a stubborn case of heartburn and I’m on the edge of my seat. The battle is on between Crystal and Lee. You might recall that I called it back in March when I pretty much declared Lee the winner. I’ve cheered him on every week this season and I say it still today. If you ask me, we could have saved ourselves precious time and cut through the riff-raff. Big Mike, Casey James, Crystal and Lee. And that’s it. The rest of these cats have had very little impact on me.

Too bad no one called to ask for my opinion.

Lee DeWyze (The Boxer) – Well, as always I think Lee is a wonderfully talented artist. This song, though, is a tad boring. But my money’s on Lee. Well, if I had money. And if there was a bet. You get my drift, right?

Crystal Bowersox (Me and Bobby McGhee) – Well, alrightythen. Crystal brung it tonight. (Do any of y’all say brung? because I totally do). She had a note or two that seemed to go a bit sharp on the high parts, but other than that, she rocked it out.

Oh, and apprently, I use the word ‘well’ frequently, too.

Lee DeWyze (Everybody Hurts) – This is the Producer’s choice and I’m not sure I’ve ever heard this song. This was MUCH better than the last song for pete’s sake, and I love the choir singing behind him. Still, something is lacking. Lee, where are you? 

Crystal Bowersox (Black Velvet) – I have a feeling about this. A feeling that this song will fit her like a glove. Oh shucks. Lee better have an ace in the whole because after that he’s going to need it.

Lee DeWyze (Beautiful Day) – It’s going to be a beautiful day for sure. A beautiful day when Lee wins this thing. And I certainly hope he does.

Crystal Bowersox (Up To The Mountain) – Crystal is on her game tonight. In my humble opinion, she has out performed Lee this evening. Dang. Danggit.

My fingers are in a dialing frenzy. In other words, if Lee doesn’t win it won’t be my fault. Good luck, Lee. I hope you and your raspy voice win it all!

http://frominmatestoplaydates.com/2010/05/american-idol-final-two/

List of Lessons Learned

It’s Tuesday and that means it’s time for another edition of What I Learned This Week.

As always, this post will practically write itself because y’all know my fount of information will never, ever run dry.

Each week, I consider writing a nice, tidy list-free WILTW post, and then it hits me that a list is so simple. Not to mention, a good list makes me smile, so I suppose I should just stick with what works. I hope you faithful readers (all eight of you) don’t mind.

– When you are having lunch at your sweet four-year-old says something like, “Mom, this is the worst chocolate milk, EVER!” there is a pretty good chance the milk is sour.

– If you mention to the waitress that your child just drank half a cup of the “worst chocolate milk ever” she will apologize profusely and then bring him a soft drink. The thing I learned is that the restaurant may still attempt to charge you for both drinks. That is, until you get all riled up and mention the words “possibly” and “puke” before letting them know that you will not pay for either drink.

– The School Superintendent in our county is more concerned about our children not missing a day of instruction than he is in the fact that the school is filled with possibly toxic fumes from tile glue.

– That same Superintendent also finds it perfectly acceptable to house two classes totaling fifty children in the school library for three days.

– I am quite sure my hair is 74% grayer than it was this time last year.

– If Wit’s End was a real place, I’d have a second home there now thanks to the County Superintendent and his Board members.

– Cookie Crisp doesn’t really taste like chocolate chip cookies and milk.

– Our house is a fun place to hang out. Just ask any of the 312 big black stupid ants I’ve killed this week.

– Menu planning makes cooking everyday much simpler and enjoyable.

– The new nail place in the Wal-Mart has a new Deluxe pedicure that includes a hot scalding towel wrap. My legs will never be the same.

That’s it for me. What did you learn this week?

You know the drill.

I Am Not THAT Mother.

We had an awesome anniversary weekend.

It wasn’t as awesome as last year’s anniversary. You know, the one we spent together in the Caribbean.

Um, because as you may or may not remember McDaddy was deployed in Cuba and the boys and I left Guantanamo Bay on our anniversary after spending a glorious week with him.

Only to spend three more months missing him before he returned home.

And, no, I did not tear up when seeing that picture.

But I did spend the day thanking God that he was home and we were together and that we spent the entire weekend relaxing.

In fact, I was so busy relaxing, there is no way I left a gallon of milk in my van yesterday while it sat in the garage.

I also didn’t leave the hospital after surgery without a bra because um, the girls, they um, need support.

It wasn’t me who ate cake three times in three days because eating cake three times in three days is never a good idea. Especially for someone who is trying to lose weight.

I also didn’t almost spit coke out of my mouth as I listened to a waitress explain to a customer how her husband made a vinegar bomb (filling a two-liter bottle with vinegar and baking soda) and then threw it into the air so he could shoot it with a rifle.

Seriously. It that’s not red-neck, I don’t know what is.

I am not counting down the days until school is over because I don’t mind waking up at O’Dark Thirty to take Stevie to school. I am a morning person who thrives on waking early in the morning.

Ahem!

And, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t totally looking forward to three months free of PTA responsibilities and whathaveyou.

Regardless of what you might have heard, I did not allow my sweet boys to get mohawks this weekend because I am not that mother.

Nope.

Not me.

What about you?

What didn’t you do this week?

For more Not Me! Monday posts, visit MckMama’s place.

May 23, 1998

Twelve years ago today, I stood with McDaddy in front of a church full or our closest friends and family and promised to love, honor and obey him. Well, maybe not obey, but certainly love and honor.

The air conditioning in the church was not working and I was crazy hot because I was carrying around forty-three pounds of tulle.

While I spent my day worrying about my hair and make-up, McDaddy spent most of the afternoon shining the wheels and tires on his aunt and uncle’s mustang – the car we would ride in to our reception – because he would never ride in an unclean car on his wedding day.

After months and months of planning, worrying, organizing, and micro-managing every single detail of our special day, I was finally Mrs. McDaddy.

About our day….

-It rained all morning on our wedding day.

-We got married at 4:00 PM.

-We each had seven attendants.

-McDaddy’s sister sang at our wedding.

-I wrote a poem to McDaddy that was read during our service.

-The ringbearer (my nephew) did some sort of muscle man routine at the beginning of our service. Once the soloist began to sang his muscle man routine turned into an air guitar performance.

-We took communion. (I wanted to ask for a refill of grape juice because I was so stinkin’ hot. And thirsty!)

-Our colors were burgundy and silver.

-I ate biscuits and gravy for breakfast. (Big mistake, by the way!)

-I fretted over whether or not the DJ would show up at our reception, because he didn’t show up for our last two meetings. (He showed up and did an awesome job!)

-We danced our first dance to “From This Moment” by Shania Twain.

-I was the happiest girl on the planet that day.

Twelve years later, I am the happiest girl on the planet. When he winks at me in a room full of people, my heart melts and I fall in love with him all over again.

His eyes light up when they see me.

His arms are my safe haven.

His heart is as big as any heart I’ve ever known.

And he.

Is.

Completely.

Mine.

Happy Anniversary, honey!

Thanks for sharing your name and your life with me.