My boys can tell a story with the best of them. Not sure where the gift of gab comes from, I just know that they have it. It’s a gift that runs in our family.
Or so I hear.
I will try my best to keep this relatively short, but y’all know how I am. If you have somewhere to be in the next hour, you may want to come back when you have more time because this story has the potential to be a long, windy tale.
It all started in April, 2009 when I visited the Dentist because my gums were swollen. As it turns out, I had something lodged in my gums, and my gums became infected. The Dentist prescribed some sort of antibiotic that apparently causes abdominal pain in one out of about 2,281 patients. Give or take a few.
Guess who the one was?
The severe abdominal pain caused my two boys and I to miss out on a trip to Guantanamo Bay to see McDaddy because I ended up in the emergency room in a Maryland hospital. A blood work-up revealed that my iron level was dangerously low due to very heavy periods.
Gross, I know.
Once we got back to town, I visited my PC who referred me to my gynecologist so that the whole very heavy periods thing could be attended to. I was given two options – ablation or Mirena IUD – to take care of the problem. Because McDaddy was out of the country, I opted for the Mirena and looked forward to five friggin’ years without a visit from the monthly beast.
If you’ve spent a good amount of time around here, you might remember me blogging about a visit to my gyno. I might have mentioned a dump truck being used in the procedure because OHMYGOSHITHURTSOBADLY.
The dump truck procedure that I referred to was actually a procedure to insert (install?) an IUD into my body.
Did I mention that it was really painful? Because seriously, it was!
After nearly passing out catching my breath, I was instructed to return to the gyno after a month to have an ultrasound to insure the device was in place. In rare cases, the IUD expels itself and must be removed.
Apparently I am a rare bird.
Because as luck would have it, the ultrasound revealed that the device was not in the proper position and needed to be removed. Coincidentally, the only thing worse than having an IUD inserted, is having a misplaced IUD removed.
Sweet mercy, I THOUGHT I WAS DYING!
Not that I’m dramatic or anything.
With tears in my eyes, I sat in the exam room for several minutes before leaving. A month or so later I found myself in the same exam room dreading the same procedure. The dump truck pulled in, backed up, and pulled in again. Or at least if felt that way. Another ultrasound one month later revealed that the IUD was in fact, in place.
Fast forward to January 18, 2010 when I visited my PC for my annual check-up. On that particular day, my blood pressure was 184/103. My medical doctor informed me that I had gained some weight (ahem!) since my last visit and that it was necessary to add a second blood pressure medication to my already existing medicine.
Two days later, my blood pressure spiked to 204/185. That little mess resulted in a trip to the Urgent Care and from there I was transported to the Emergency Room via ambulance. If you want to read every stinkin’ detail, you can go here to read about that first visit.
Shortly after that visit, McDaddy offered to give me a kidney if needed and I continued to monitor my blood pressure very closely. A few days later, me and my dramatic self experienced some very scary symptoms. My chest tightened. My arm tingled. My head ached. My heart was pounding out of my chest and my blood pressure was 238/140. If you’re guessing, I ended up back in the ER, you’d be right! It was our second weekend night in the ER.
Each time I visited the ER, I mentioned the dump truck procedure IUD.
A few days later, on a whim, and because I had another stinkin’ head ache I googled Mirena + blood pressure.
Guess what I found?
Overwhelming evidence that suggested that maybe, just maybe the Mirena was causing the problems with my blood pressure. I made a call to my gynecologist and she felt certain that the IUD would not cause my blood pressure to spike so high, but agreed that it should be removed.
As one in my shoes might expect, the removal of the IUD did not go as planned.
A minute or so after the Doctor was “on the property” she said five words that I did not expect to hear.
“I can’t find the strings”
Wellalrightythen. Now what?
I was sure at that minute that those stupid strings had crawled up into my chest cavity and I was mentally preparing myself for the possibility that I would have to be opened up so that the device and it’s strings could be surgically removed from my body. Thankfully, that scenario never played out. A vaginal ultrasound was needed to find the strings and within seconds the device was fairly painlessly removed from my body.
Eight days (and an addional blood pressure pill) later, my blood pressure is just slightly higher than normal. I can’t be sure if the problems were due to the IUD, or if there is a more serious underlying problem (I had an ultrasound of my kidneys today to check for a renal blockage) but I know that the headaches are gone. The dizziness is gone. And I feel much better.
I’ll keep you posted and iknowthiswentonwaytoolong, so I’ll just say enjoy your weekend!
Mkay. That’s all.