A Hairy Situation

“How to give a haircut!”

As told by a random barber at Patrick Air Force Base.

Circa 2006.

Step 1: Attempt to talk to cute little boy with Mohawk so that he will feel comfortable with you. Watch in disbelief as his sweet smile turns to a sour scowl. Decide you will probably need back-up and a butt-load of patience.

Step 2: Secure all necessary equipment making for sure it is within reach because you will have to move fast.

Stealth, actually.

Step 3: Reassure little boy that it won’t hurt A BIT and IT WILL BE OVER BEFORE HE KNOWS IT.

Hope for the best.

Step 4: Before beginning, pose long enough for the crazy mama with a camera to take a picture of her angel’s first haircut. Shoot the breeze with the boy’s father because the crazy mama is taking 412 pictures for some unknown reason.

Step 5:  Say a quick prayer because as any barber knows it could go either way with a child’s first haircut.

Step 6:  Hold child’s head tighter. Secure your grip of the clippers because forheavenssake this child is a squirmer.

Step 7:  Determine this must be the most challenging haircut of all time. Vow this will be your last first haircut ever. Stoop down to get closer to the child. CUT FASTER paying little attention to how straight you are actually cutting the hair because AFTER ALL THIS CHILD IS NOT COOPERATING IN THE LEAST AND YOU JUST WANT IT TO BE OVER!

Step 8: Smirk at crazy mama as she entertains the little boy who is now smiling because you are no longer holding his head in a death grip.

Step 9: Exhale.

Step 10: Admire cute little boy with great haircut as you make your way out the door to find a stiff drink.

THE END.

Thursday Thirteen – 12 Guys and Some Commentary

THIS IS AMERICAN..Simon stop talking… WHAT?

I love that line. Ryan Seacrest, why did you ruin that line? I mean I love you and all, but I look forward to those words each week and when you don’t say them, it’s like you’re cheating on me.

Simon, I love the shirt, dude. So glad you ditched that black tee. It was time.

Okay, so I’m totally playing fast and loose with the whole Thursday Thirteen thing because there are only 12 guys on Idol tonight, but rest assured that I’ll add my two hundred cents and then we’ll round it up to thirteen. Y’all know I’m not good at math.

So…

Todrick Hall– I was tapping my toes in my big, blue, bloggy chair and I liked it. Alot. Even though I have never heard that song. I enjoyed the performance. I enjoyed the vocals and I enjoyed the arrangement. He’s a keeper. And based on the judges’ remarks, I suppose knowing the original version makes a difference because I didn’t agree with them at all. I liked it even more when I found out that he heard it “in his head!”

Sweet mercy, me and Todrick would get along fabulously because I hear things in my head all the time. It’s just not usually a song variation that I hear.

Aaron Kelly – Don’t think I’ve heard this song either. (Can you tell I listen to KLOVE 94% of the time?) This fella is only 16 and the judges are probably going to unload on him because he sounds a bit pitchy to me. I like this kid though. He has a cute face and a good voice.

Jermaine Sellers– Haven’t heard this song for awhile and I wasn’t a big fan of it when it was a hit, but it was okay. Just plain okay. I loved his version of Man In The Mirror during Hollywood Week. “BooBoo the Fool” should have done another Michael Jackson tune. On top of that, he is feisty. And I like feisty.

Careful, Ellen. You’re dangerously close to walking down Ramblin’ Road. Say “hi” to Paula when you get there.

Tim Urban– I know this song. Seems like a weird song choice with all the tuuu laaates, but I’m keeping an open mind. I think this might be the worst song choice ever. Everytime he tries to hit that note, I find myself squinting one eye and cocking my head sideways hoping he can pull the note out at the last minute.. There has to be a better song out there for him. Hopefully he’ll get the chance to bring it, because obviously he forgot it at home this evening.

Joe Munoz – This guy was one of my favorites during Hollywood Week.  He too sang Man In The Mirror and he rocked it out. In my opinion, this wasn’t the best song choice. In fact, it was a bad choice. I was hoping for a little pep in his step. Instead, he tripped over his own feet. He’s probably safe though.

Tyler Grady – Um, no thanks. Not a fan. Pee break.

Movingrightalong.

Lee Dewyze –  Is it just me or does this cat sound strikingly similar to Danny Gokey? Yes, I think so too. My favorite so far. I like the whole scratchy, raspy voice thing. Great performance.

Ellen. Shut it.

Ditto Randy.

Kara. Change your shirt.

Simon. YES YES YES!

Thank you, sir.

John Park – Oh shucks. He reminds me of a lounge singer. Not that I’ve spent much time in lounges, but there was that one time in Vegas when I ended up singing onstage with a band at the Excalibur. But that’s a story for another time. John’s got a great voice but that song didn’t do much for me.

Michael Lynche– Now this boy can sing. Yessir. I like it. He’ll be sticking around a very long time.

Alex Lambert – I like that his voice is different from the rest. Different is good. Just ask me. He seems a bit nervous, but this is the first show, so, I hope he gets to stick around, because hello? his name is Alex. 

Ellen has gone completely bananas.

Casey James – This feller was singing to somebody. You could see it in his eyes. Very good performance.

Andrew Garcia – I liked the version of “Straight Up” that he did during Hollywood week. It was memorable. This guy is one of my favorites even though he’s singing something about going down to a mausoleum. Or something like that. I like his voice and I like those fat diamonds in his ears, too. Nice. Very original.

My favorites were Michael, Alex, Andrew, and Lee.

I think Tyler and his screech might go home this week.

Just my two cents.

Sweet hallelujah, my boy Kris Allen will be in the house tomorrow night. Yes indeed, I will be there.

Shaping Up

Things are shaping up around here this week. The carpet needed to finish our new playroom has been ordered and is sitting at Lowes. Unfortunately the crazy carpet guy in charge of the install hasn’t contacted us yet and Lowes won’t give out his number to a crazy stay-at-home-mom who is in a hot rush to get a new playroom finishedme. Instead, I must wait for him to contact me. Not real sure what he’s waiting on, but I do wish he’d get his rear in gear and give us a call. I’ve bought out half of Target to decorate the room and promptly returned half of that after deciding it wasn’t what I wanted or didn’t look as I had hoped. Then I hit Home Goods, Wal-Mart (I know, I know!), and Pier One.

*Big frustrating sigh*

I’m not real good at waiting.

While I waited for crazy carpet guy from Lowes to call, I decided to search out some shapes around our house.

This is a hand towel in our bathroom that is clearly out of focus.

This is my favorite perfume. It is also a great object to shoot for shape week. (Romance by Ralph Lauren).

[Note to self: Hey, ding-dong, the next time you shoot a glass perfume bottle, perhaps you should shine it up, first]

This shot turned out great. Arbonne FYI Sugar Slush Body Scrub.

I shot this one because of the round holes displaying the light, however, the reflection of the light on the countertop is pretty cool too.

And just for fun, I turned the lights on.

From the standpoint of a Princess, Vera definitely wins the classy perfume bottle award, complete with a crown lid.

This is my wedding bouquet. I couldn’t resist sharing its heart shape with you.

Fun, fun, fun!

Don’t be square. Head over to Beth’s place to check out lots of other shapes.

Fighting For Your Marriage

I am very easy to get along with.

Just ask me.

But, even I have my moments.

During the marriage enrichment seminar that McDaddy and I attended recently, we learned how to effectively argue using techniques outline in a book entitled Fighting For Your Marriage.

As if I needed any help.

Oh, I kid.

Sort of.

My main problem when arguing is the volume of my voice.

And my temper.

And my ability to get over it.

Not good odds if you’re on the other side of an argument with me.

Don’t judge. I’m just keepin’ it real.

The session taught us how to argue effectively and we were given a square yellow and white magnet called “the floor”.

When we find ourselves in an argument, the key is for the “speaker” to have “the floor” before speaking and for the “listener” to do their best to focus on the techniques listed on the magnet until it is their turn to be the “speaker”.

The techniques listed are;

Speaker Listener Technique

RULES FOR THE SPEAKER

  • Speak for yourself, don’t mind read. (Ahem!)
  • Keep statements brief. Don’t go on and on. (and on and on and on and on – remember what I said about my ability to get over it!)
  • Stop to let the listener participate.

RULES FOR THE LISTENER

  • Paraphrase what you hear. (In other words, the listener should say, “So what you are saying is”… to make sure the point is clearly understood.)
  • Focus on the speaker’s message. Don’t rubut.

RULES FOR BOTH

  • The speaker has the floor.
  • Speaker keeps the floor while the listener paraphrases.
  • Share the floor.

We had a practice session during the conference, but chances are it went nothing like it would go if we were really arguing or disagreeing about something.

Our marriage is important to me.

And I respect my hubby.

So, for the sake of my hubby and our marriage, I plan to learn and follow this technique the next time we, um, you know, argue about something. 

And you can bet the farm that I’ll be running to grab “the floor” first! 

Visit THAT family for other things that might work for you!

——-

Before you go skipping along on your merry way, please take a second to visit my giveaway page where I’m giving away an 18×24 poster print. I’ll choose a winner at random 11:00 pm ET.

What I Learned This Week

what-i-learned-this-weekAs always, I have a long random list of things I’ve learned. Funny thing is that unless I write them down or note them on the iPhone notepad, I often have trouble remembering what they are. Especially if I’m hopped up on chocolate and Olympic viewing.

Most of the uniforms (costumes?) worn in the Olympics could double as body spanx.

The Skeleton is like a train wreck ready to happen a wild and crazy sport and I enjoy watching it.

I am a huge fan of ice skating, however, the Ice Dance Compulsories had me thinking my time could be better spent cleaning a toilet.

The Free Dance however is a different story.

Just because your four-year-old will not recite his Pioneer Club memory verses for you, you should not assume that it’s because he doesn’t know them.

Unless you have a lot of random time on your hands, you probably should not download (?) the Words With Friends app on your iPhone. Oh, and if you do get the Words With Friends APP you might as well go ahead and get the Lexeme APP.

It really bothers me when United States Olympic Atheletes do not put their hand over their heart during The Star Spangled Banner. And each time it happens, I am more bothered by it. Do something with those funky green flowers and show some respect folks.

I love give-aways! In fact, I’m hosting one today over on my Review Page – go have a look!

IHOP has some really good pancakes which stands to reason because they are the International House of Pancakes. It’s just that I only recently ordered pancakes there and discovered the big warm blob of butter sitting atop the stack. I can’t be sure but I think the warm butter makes the pancakes better than normal pancakes.

[NOTE TO SELF: Purchase real butter at the grocery store for your next pancake breakfast extravaganza]

#ff over at Twitter means Follow Friday. I had people on Twitter #ff’n me and I had no idea what it meant. Reluctantly, I came up with some things in my head and then remembered that my friend Google would surely know. Granted, it would have been much easier to ask the Twitter Tweeps about it, however, I feared it was something I wouldn’t want attention drawn to.

Thanks, Google.

Seeing the new Thesis Theme pop up all over the blogosphere makes me wish I had the sense to change my own theme.

And speaking of the new Thesis Theme, pop over to Musings Of A Housewife to see the new theme and to visit other What I Learned This Week posts.

Quiet, Refined and Reserved.

I don’t know about you, but in my humble opinion, the Olympics are addictive. It is so easy to get caught up in Apolo Ohno’s latest short track event or the wild and crazy fearless few that compete in the skeleton.

Seriously, competing in that sport would take some ginormous nerve. At what point in one’s life does one say, “Why yes, I think I might run real fast beside this sled and then jump on it and see how fast I can go!…. Head first!”

It most definitely wasn’t me who has stayed up way too late partying with Bob Costas every single night of the Olympics the past week because I couldn’t care less about Apolo Ohno and his beloved headband. Or Bode Miller. Or Shaun White. I couldn’t stay up way late because its not as if I have absolutely no responsibility and am not required to get up at O Dark Thirty to get a child to school in the mornings.

Likewise, in an attempt to settle my nerves while watching Lindey Vonn and Julia Mancuso, it wasn’t me who had the hair-brained idea to eat a Snickers Ice Cream Bar well after midnight.

Folks, believe me when I say I knew better.

I did not sit in my big, blue, bloggy chair, chowing down on the awesomeness that is the chocolate, the peanuts, the ice cream and the caramel while whoopin’ and hollerin’ for each and every American Athlete no matter what the event.

An hour or so later, it wasn’t me who found herself wollering around in the bed like a brown bear trying to root out a spot get comfortable and get to sleep.

Nope, not me. No way!

I did not lay there compiling this post in my head trying to keep myself still so that I wouldn’t wake Papa Bear McDaddy knowing full well that I should have pulled myself right up out of bed to get the mess out of my head because of the very real possibility that I wouldn’t remember it three days later.

It also wasn’t me who beamed with pride as Stevie made his way to the front of a crowded room to accept a 2nd Place trophy for the Father/Son Cub-Scout Bake-off on Saturday.

Oh, and there’s no way I let out a big squeal seconds after the announcement because for one, I am much too refined for that, and for two, well, because I am typically quiet and reserved.

Not necessarily in that order.

AHEM!

Way to go fellas! I AM very proud of both of you! Your beach cake was yummy!!!!

For more things that people did not do, (probably because they too are quiet, refined and reserved) head over to MckMama’s place.

An Ordinary Day

Thirteen months have passed, yet it still seems like yesterday.

Unsuspectingly, I drive by the sight and feel a boulder emerge in my throat. I bite my lip in an effort to hold back the tears. Unsummoned, I feel the tears coming. I look up in my rear-view mirror to catch a glimpse of a tear crawling from under my sunglasses. The tear makes its way down my cheek and rolls onto my jacket.

Another one follows.

I think of that cold, rainy Saturday and what it must have been like for those standing nearby watching and waiting and whimpering. I think of the man who was without a doubt sent by God. To be there in those last moments.

Grace.

Mercy.

In the midst of grief and sorrow, there was grace and mercy.

I was home on that dreadful day. Going about my business as if nothing had changed. As if it were an ordinary day.

It was anything but ordinary.

The lives of many were changed in an instant. An instant that is still so difficult to consider – even today.

Even today it is difficult for me to grasp the fact that death snuck in. On an ordinary day.

It continues to rear its ugly head daily to those who remember.

In the midst of an ordinary day – the wind blows, a song plays, a memory is recollected – and for a second I stop. I must stop to catch my breath because I am reminded of that day. That ordinary day that I will never forget.

During an ordinary day, it sneaks in.

It happened just yesterday as I walked across a snowy, slushy parking lot.

It snuck in and I remembered.

That memory sparked another memory. And then another.

With clarity, I remember the last conversation that we had. It was unplanned, and sweet, and without a doubt, I know it was God’s provision for one last opportunity to share and remember and laugh and smile. The conversation has played in my head time and time again and I think about all the words I should have said.

Words that can never be said because they are lost forever in death’s grip.

Thirteen months later.

It is still so tough.

Even on ordinary days.

 

Your Kiss Is On My Lips

Kisses.

That’s this week’s You Capture challenge.

I tried to figure out the best way to shoot me kissin’ my fellas, but ultimately I figured y’all might not appreciate pictures of my playing kissy-face, so I movedrightalong to something else.

Yes, you are welcome.

I couldn’t pass up the chance to shoot these because after all? They are Hershey’s ace in the proverbial hole.

And because no post about kissing would be complete with my three favorite fellas, here they are in all their glory!

And this?

I kissed this bad boy the minute it met my finger. It is my Birthday/Christmas/Deployment present and I love it! Sadly, of the 412 pictures I attempted, I was unable to get the flash, the macro, and the zoom to love on eachother.

Clearly, I’ve got more learning to do.

You Capture is hosted by I Should Be Folding Laundry.