A Fly On The Wall

Our home is a joyful place.

Except when two of its members are squabbling over the same version of Lightning McQueen.

Or the youngest of its members forgets that his teeth are only for chewing food.

Even then, the McResidence is a great place to be. Things seldomgo awry. The situation rarely escalates to a point where an adult is required to step in. Everything is so tidy, that no one ever loses anything or leaves toys lying around. Every member of this house is eager to pitch in to do his part, leaving very little work for me. And, as you might of guessed, this place runs like a well-oiled machine.


And if you were a fly on the wall, YOU WOULD NEVER hear the following statements in our home…

“Can someone please wipe my bottom?”

“Daddy” (times about 4,329)

“Mom, where is my [insert item here]”

“Mom, can I play the Wii?”, “Or the DS”,”Or the computer”

“Mom can we please watch a show?”

“Are these clean or dirty?”

“I don’t want to!”

“I can’t”

“Is it bedtime?”

“Can this be a play bath?”

“Ew, what is this stuff? Well, I don’t like it!”

“Did you remember to call the insurance company?”

“If toys are left out again, they will be put up and you won’t see them for a month!”

“Is it time to pick up Stevie?” (at least 14 times a day!)

“Mom, why do we need fingernails?” Um, good question, I really have no idea!

“Do you want me to get the spankin’ spoon?”

“Mom, are you in the bathroom?”

“Do I need my aggerly (allergy) pill today?”

“Can we take the JEEP?”

“Mom, can I wear my snow boots today?”

“I’m mad at myself!”

“Can I have a brown sugar and cimmanun poptart?”

I suspect I answer approximately 3,281 questions each day.

And, if you were a fly on the wall in our home, you would not have heard the following conversation take place three nights ago…

ME: “Alex, do not put that booger on the couch, you need to get a tissue – Alex, what are you doing with that booger?”

ALEX: “Putting it back in my nose!”

Seriously, you would NOT have heard that from my 4 year old darling boy because he always wipes his nose with a tissue.

Oh, and FYI, McDaddy and I most definitely did NOT spend another Friday night in the ER because of my stupid blood pressure.


Visit MckMama’s place for more Not Me! Monday posts!


  1. says

    Ok, you need to fill us in on the blood pressure issue… update, please.

    I have started to answer my kids like this when they ask where ____ is:
    “Well, when I was last using your (shoes, toothbrush, lego star wars game…) I left it ______.” They LOVE that.

    And Michael used to return his boogers to their rightful place, too. Glad he’s not the only one.
    .-= Becca – Our Crazy Boys´s last blog ..I’m Busy. (Very. Very. Busy.) =-.

  2. Erika says

    Ha ha eeeewwwwww. How about putting something up the nose that doesn’t belong there. When my son was 3 he put a dry red bean up his nose and when my youngest daughter was 3 she put a piece of chewed gum up her nose.. 🙂

  3. Wendy says

    Oh, Julie, you’ve just got to get that blood pressure under control. I NEED to read your blog, so please don’t let anything happen to you! Not to mention that your husband and children need you, too!

    That’s too funny about your son’s nose! I’m glad to say that is one thing my kids haven’t tried!

    Have a good day! Wendy

  4. Jean says

    I would love to be a fly on your wall. 🙂 Because I love the 4 special, awesome people who live there. BTW, fingernails are for protecting the ends of your fingers — same for toenails. 🙂 He thought of everything – those who believe that it all “just happened” are fooling themselves.

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