Y It Works For Me!

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It all started when I bought my mom a cute pair of capris for her birthday last year. They were the wrong size so I had been to five different stores looking for the right size.
 
That same week, three of my sisters-in-law and I went to the YMCA on guest membership passes so that our kids could play on the indoor play gym.
 
Because it was 47 degrees outside.
 
In May.
 
Anyhoo.
 
While we were there, I inquired about a gym membership and pondered it for a few days while clearing the cost and idea with McDaddy. .
 
So, while I was making one last futile attempt to find those capri pants for my mom, I got the sign I had been waiting for.
 
I was in JC Penney and I saw it.
 
The big “save an additional 50% off on all sportswear sign.”
 
My 50% radar went off and I knew this was it.

I bought this cute outfit in three colors because it was sportswear and because it was on sale. 
 
So, you can imagine how cute I looked when I mozied up to the counter to purchase a family membership.  All the while I’ve got a two-year old hanging off my leg hollerin’ he wants his juice.
 
And a snack.
 
And my keys.
 
I was a sight alright. And, I had a full workout standing right there at the help desk.
 
I signed the kids into the play room and made my way to the fitness center.
 
For starters, I had no idea where to start.
 
The gym attendant was a guy I graduated from high school with and I just couldn’t bring myself to ask him where to start because I was sure he’d inquire about why I didn’t start sooner.
 
Instead I sashayed to the elliptical machine as if I owned the place. That, and because I heard the elliptical burns more calories than the treadmill and it is much easier on your knees. I set the timer for ten minutes and opened the latest edition of US! magazine. I did awesome.
 
For the first two minutes.
 
Then the burning started.
 
I continued for about five more minutes and thought it best if I moved on.
 
The treadmill.
 
It felt really good and I stayed on it for twenty minutes.
 
Granted, I wasn’t running at light speed, but, I could feel my heart rate soar and noticed that beads of sweat had gathered on the back of my neck
 
I decided to try one more thing before leaving.
 
I made my way over to the stationary bikes, plopped down on one and wondered why my legs felt like they were still moving. The bike looked like it was designed by someone a lot smaller than me. It had a wee little seat.
 
I glanced at the two people who were riding to glory on the stationary bikes.
 
It was me.

And them.
 
The woman looked like she had just stepped off the cover of Cardio Magazine (is there such a thing?) and it was obvious she meant business. The guy was in his own little world and I didn’t see one drop of sweat. That should have been enough for me to shag out of there. 
 
Instead, I mounted that monster.
 
And, started off slowly.
 
The girls My thighs felt the pain within mere seconds, but, I stayed steady at level 3.
 
I looked down to make sure I didn’t see flames. After about three minutes, I remembered I left my bottle of water in the diaper bag that I left with the kids in the play gym. I decided it really didn’t matter because the 16 ounces in the bottle would not have been enough. 
 
I needed a keg.
 
Or a water-hose.
 
Kill me. Just kill me now.
 
I’ll cheat high blood pressure right out of it. And kill over right here.
 
Meanwhile, Barbie and Lance Armstrong upped their game.
 
My butt started burning.
 
Which made perfect sense, seeing that the seat was about 6 inches long and 4 inches wide! I wondered how much an ambulance would charge to drive my dead hind-end to the Ville.
 
I slowed the bike down. And tried to breathe.
 
I felt really good afterwards. I felt accomplished.
 
Maybe it was the new outfit.
 
Or knowing that I was doing something I should have started years ago. After my hour workout, I felt good. And free. And after I caught my breath, I made my way to the door without collapsing. (The thought did cross my mind.)
 
I wasn’t sure either of the sorry saps on those bikes would have stopped long enough to pick this ole’ girl up off the floor.
 
My new outfit was soaked. The girls were burning.
 
But ohmyword! I felt fabulous!
 
Which is Y I went back the next day and the next day and the next day.

9 months later I have lost 25 pounds.

And that works for me!!!

Visit Rocks In My Dryer to find other things that might work for you too!

Comments

  1. says

    It’s really too bad that your blog was down when this was posted. Because it was hilarious! HI-LAR-IO-US.

    25 pounds? Right on! I’ve got 5 to unload and sitting here reading this while eating a piece of cake is probably not the best way to do it…

  2. Jean says

    I laughed till I cried! 🙂 You crack me up! You MUST write a book — honestly, you would make millions $,$$$,$$$!! 🙂